Over the weekend, a photo of Donald Trump after he purportedly shot a hole-in-one circulated around the Internet. On Monday night, the former President put those rumors to rest in the most Trump-y way possible.
“Many people are asking, so I’ll give it to you now, it is 100% true,” Trump said in a statement released by his office.
But he was far from done. In fact, he was just getting started.
“It took place at Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, Florida, on the 7th hole, which was playing 181-yards into a slight wind,” he added. “I hit a 5-iron, which sailed magnificently into a rather strong wind, with approximately 5 feet of cut, whereupon it bounced twice and then went clank, into the hole.”
“5 feet of cut”!
“Sailed magnificently”!
“Whereupon”!
Really feels like you were there right? As though you can feel the “rather strong wind” and hear the “clank” of the ball going into the hole.
But Trump wasn’t done. Not by a long shot!
After noting that he had been playing with several professional golfers — including Ernie Els (“winner of four Majors and approximately 72 other tournaments throughout the world”) — Trump said this about his shot: “These great tour players noticed it before I did because their eyes are slightly better, but on that one hole only, their swings weren’t.”
Amazing!
And yet, he *still* wasn’t done.
“The match was Ernie and me (with no strokes) against Gene [Sauers], Mike [Goodes], and Ken [Duke],” Trump continued. “I won’t tell you who won because I am a very modest individual, and you will then say I was bragging—and I don’t like people who brag!”
Humble, thy name is Donald Trump! I guess we’ll never know who won that match!
Take a step back. Trump is, by all accounts, a good golfer. I’ve talked to a number of people for a book I am writing on presidents and sports — all of whom confirm that the former President likely has a single-digit handicap.
“He wants everyone to know he is a better golfer than he is,” said Don Van Natta, author of “First Off the Tee,” a history of presidents and golf. “He is a much better golfer than people know, but he’s not as good as he says he is.”
Which should surprise exactly no one who is familiar with Trump. His entire persona is premised on “truthful hyperbole,” an idea he outlined in his seminal book “The Art of the Deal.”
“I play to people’s fantasies,” Trump wrote. “People may not always think big themselves, but they can still get very excited by those who do. That’s why a little hyperbole never hurts. People want to believe that something is the biggest and the greatest and the most spectacular. I call it truthful hyperbole. It’s an innocent form of exaggeration—and a very effective form of promotion.”
Yes, yes it is.
