“I’m constantly trying to fight fear in my life,” Robertson said on her “哇! That’s Good” 播客. “It was like, so many emotions happening that I couldn’t really fight the fear like I normally do. All of a sudden, I was just in a state of anxiety. I didn’t even realize that it was creeping us as much as it was.”
的 现实 star noted that while she “struggled with anxiety for years,” she wasn’t prepared how it would have a tremendous impact on her after becoming a parent.
“That is such a toxic brain spiral to go through that it will manifest itself in some way,” Robertson reflected. “I didn’t even realize that those thoughts throughout the day were making me jittery, were making me have all these feelings of anxiety and were making my chest feel super tight, 喜欢, I couldn’t breathe.”
Robertson said she didn’t tell anyone about the scenarios that clouded her mind. But one day, Huff found her crying in a closet by herself.
“I just said, ‘I’m so scared. I’m so scared that something is going to happen to her,’” Robertson recalled. “It was so real. 我像, ‘I’m so scared that something is going to happen to her. I’m so scared that she’s not really OK. What if whenever she got stuck [during delivery], the oxygen actually cut off to her head. I’m scared that something happens to me and I am not going to get to be the mom that I want to be to her.”
Robertson admitted she was confused about feeling so fearful and facing negative thoughts that clouded her mind during one of the happiest moments of her life.
“I didn’t understand how I could be so happy and so joyful, yet also experience so much fear,” Robertson explained. “I realized that you don’t have to choose just one of those feelings. You don’t have to choose fear and trade out all the joy. You don’t have to choose joy and trade out all the fear. It can actually go hand in hand.”
“The reason I was so fearful is because I loved her so much,” Robertson continued. “然而, just because it makes rational sense that I had some fear it doesn’t mean that is something I needed to live with.”
先前, Robertson described the “very scary and really dangerous” birth of her daughter on her podcast. The star said she was “pushed down on the bed” 与 “every nurse in the room just over me, and they were pulling my legs and pushing my stomach as hard as they could.”
“I thought they cut me open because of how painful it was when they pressed on my stomach,” said Robertson earlier this month. “Now I know they were pressing my pelvis bone to get her out because what happened was Honey got stuck. Her shoulder got stuck.”
Robertson said Honey’s shoulder was “clamping the umbilical cord,” which meant the newborn couldn’t get any air.
“In that moment, every second counts and they couldn’t get her out for two minutes and ten seconds,” Robertson explained. “This really was very scary and really dangerous. I knew something was wrong because of the pain, and the doctor [有] just told me, ‘Next push, she’s here.’”
在一个点上, the nurses expected to take Honey to the NICU because they thought she wouldn’t be “breathing on her own.” 然而, her recovery was “crazy” and her “shoulder wasn’t even broken.”
“They had three doctors check her shoulder because they were in disbelief,” said Robertson. “She never had to have any other care because she was so strong.”