Did you know that the CDC bought location data taken from tens of millions of U.S. phones in order to check compliance with curfews and tracked people going to and from places?
And I just found out the hard way.
los Centros para el Control y la Prevención de Enfermedades called me and asked me why I was standing outside Judge Jeanine’s bedroom window. And frankly, it ruined the mood.
So because they aren’t allowed to spy on us, the government gets companies to do it for them, just like censorship.
Location data is info on your phone’s location, obviamente, which can also show you where a person lives and works or where they go after work. Which in Kat’s case, [object Window]. That’s actually her book club.
Ahora, maybe this is harmless. They just want the data to fight the spread of disease. It’s all in the name of health, por supuesto. Just like gain of function research. Chico, did that turn out great.
Por supuesto, el dia de ayer, these same officials once again advised Americans to wear masks on planes, trains and buses or in Tyrus’s case, Zeppelins. They cite future viral trends for the recommendation, but they always cite the future.
El problema es, when you do that, it’s never to undo something, but to keep doing something forever. Citing the future and all its risks means recommendations never, ever really go away. And it’s not like all that tracking ever helped anyone.
STAFFER 1: Oh, Oye! My purse!
STAFFER 2 Oh, Dios mío. I saw the whole thing.
STAFFER 1: Oh, can you help me?
STAFFER 2: Realmente, sí, I’m with the CDC. Sabes, I’ve been tracking you for a long time. Just making sure you’re keeping up with our latest guidelines. Lovely bedroom, por cierto.
STAFFER 1: You put cameras in my house!?
STAFFER 2: Whoa, whoa. Excuse me. No. Okey. Your cameras were already in your house. I just happened to access them. And can you tell me why exactly you weren’t wearing a mask in the shower this morning?
STAFFER 1: Oh, Dios mío. Everything was in my purse! Okey. My wallet, my keys, my phone.
STAFFER 2: Esperar, your phone? Damn it. How am I going to track you now? I guess I’m about to go after this guy. Oh, Dios mío. He’s already in your shower.
Nice. Asi que. It goes back to classism. The government and media know they don’t have to follow the rules, but everyone who waits on them will. The best vaccine passport – be a Clinton. We see it everywhere. The masked serving, the unmasked. It’s like that sunny sentiment we heard a few weeks ago.
HOSTIN SOLEADO: I don’t want to get on a plane with superspreaders. I don’t want to get on a plane with 214 other people that are going to be breathing on me with their COVID breath. No lo quiero. No lo quiero, I want the masks.
They finally found someone who can make Joy Behar look intelligent.
Sabes, being known as the dumb one on “La vista” is like being kicked out of Guns N Roses because you did too many drugs. Piénsalo.
So the media worries more about you than they worry about themselves, because they think they’re better than you.
A number of the press, despite being fully vaxed, ended up with COVID at the White House Correspondents dinner. It could be COVID, or maybe it was James Corden’s terrible skit that made them so sick. We wish them all a speedy recovery so they can get back to doing what they do best, writing retractions.
But you see how their own dire warnings that were meant to scare you didn’t scare them from eating rubber chicken in a rented tux. Por cierto, someone should be tracking rented tuxedos. Talk about gross. I remember getting lice on prom night, and it wasn’t from my date for once. It was from the top hat. Not to mention the loose condom I found in my cummerbund.
But you could see the room. They were packed tighter than Lizzo in a wetsuit. If that were a Trump rally, there would be hell to pay.
So what do all these stories have in common? The tracking, the masks, the media exemptions? Honest, hardworking people are basically told you can’t breathe the same air as us. And if you want to free yourself from being forced to do something, you have to become the person who does the forcing. That’s government.