Greg Gutfeld: If my Trump interview isn't Emmy-award winning stuff, I don't know what is

Greg: the most important question I have to ask you is, how about my ratings? Trump:  Your ratings are fabulous. I just. So you’re now the king of late-night? Yes. I mean, you’re beating some very untalented people, to be honest with you. So I’m not so sure how great that is. But they are so bad. And it’s about time somebody came in and you’re really beating a badly grate. Greg: I feel kind of guilty about it because I feel like I’m beating up unarmed people. Trump:  Well, they’re not very talented. You are. So congratulations. Greg: I’m mildly talented. They’re just untalented. Trump: And you’re very different. Greg: Yes, I am very different. 

Well, if that’s not Emmy award-winning stuff I don’t know what is.

But maybe if I sent contagious people to nursing homes and then grab my coworkers’ asses, I’d have a chance. 

But the fun hasn’t stopped. Because it’s time for Meeting of the Minds, Part 3.

Yes, we are now into part three of the greatest presidential interview in the history of presidential interviews. Warning: this interview is so powerful, it may change forever the way you look at the world, and especially me.

But before we do that – Greg’s Seven Jokes!

This afternoon, President Biden unveiled his 6-pronged plan to fight covid. It was originally called a 6-step plan, but Joe’s not good with steps.

Biden also prioritized getting kids back into school, Where they’re easier to sniff.

Joe Biden is also preparing to sue Texas over the new anti-abortion laws. That’s right before heading to Mass to receive Communion.

Meanwhile, the Taliban is expected to continue their ban on music. Which means Afghans can only listen to Maroon Five.

In other news, Congressman Adam Schiff urged Facebook to address the spread of Covid-19 vaccine misinformation on social media – the companies sprung into action, instantly deleting the account of Anthony Fauci.

Yesterday a protestor threw an egg at gubernatorial candidate Larry Elder. The egging confirmed two things we already knew about liberals: (1) they hate Black Republicans, and (2) they throw like a girl. 

I’m told that the deadly egg itself was never recovered, but detectives did find several shell fragments. 

And that’s your seven jokes!

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the September 9, 2021 edition of “Gutfeld!”

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