GREG GUTFELD, 폭스 뉴스 호스트: Just another whopper from Mayor McCheese. 나는
still grossed out by that. 확인. It’s been a few months and Joe Biden has
made more mistakes than I did in med school. It’s why I’m not a doctor. 왜
all of those people are dead. Gets a laugh. All those dead people. 모두
권리. Now we could point out all of Joe’s failures, but I have a wedding
to go to in September.
But what’s weird is how the media buries these stories like cat poo in a
sandbox. Where does it all go? Don Lemon’s hamper, Rachel Maddow’s Jim
locker, that computer shop where Hunter Biden took his laptop. There’s a
lot of bad stuff going on. But like Kamala Harris, the Jimmy Hoffa of vice
presidents, it’s nowhere to be found. Biden screws up in the media slips
the story between the mattress and the box spring. Like those photos I have
of Bill Hemmer.
But imagine if any of this happened under President Trump. Highest rate of
inflation in 13 연령, like Dana Perino hawking her new book, that would be
어디에나. Unemployment is now rising faster than it has in a decade and
during a job surplus. Has that ever happened before? That’s like losing
weight after eating 10 pounds of cookie dough. Relax, 스텔 터. 아니에요
가능한. As always, it’s all about the incentives.
Incentives are the most basic science on Earth. If you’re married, 알 잖아
what I mean. If you want your wife to stay interested in the bedroom, you
do what I do. You put the dishwasher in there. 슬프게도, the only incentives
the Dems understand is if you give someone money, they’ll vote for you. 그러나
I was kind of hoping that was changing. Biden has now decided to resume
partly building the wall. 예, that big evil Satan wall.
Remember when they stopped building it in January? Every live did a victory
댄스, including Elizabeth Warren. And I know because it rained over my
house for three days. So what happened next, a massive influx of migrants.
Thousands of kids showed up unaccompanied and on a school night no less.
Incentives took center stage, like a Bunyan on Pelosi’s foot, it got big
and ugly fast.
But maybe I thought something came to Joe’s senses, probably polling
numbers or smelling salts. Or maybe the images of children being abandoned
in the mountains like James Franco’s Tinder dates who wouldn’t put out. 나는
was hoping Biden woke up to the fact that not everything Trump did was
악, and that the advice he’s getting from the woke is idiotic. 사실로, ㅏ
lot of Trumps teams were pretty good.
If you’re not a communist socialist or something called Debra Messing.
Record low unemployment, especially among minorities, energy independence,
North Korea no longer and apocalyptic headache, a plethora of peace deals.
True Trump could hurt your feelings. Don’t we all know it? I’m still
smarting over being snubbed for that Presidential Medal of Freedom. But all
of Joe’s current problems are based on rejecting Trumpism which isn’t a way
to run a country.
It’s like hooking up with a total loser after you got dumped just to get
back at the person who dumped you, but it only harms you. 하나, 이것의
great if you’re the loser that people keep hooking up with. That was the
only way I got lucky in college. I wonder what our angry white male thinks.
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TOM SHILLUE, AMERICAN STAND-UP EDIAN: Presidential politics, what a
pain. 보기, I like the last guy OK. But I know there were a lot of people
who didn’t. 보기, it seems like the negative voices always outweigh the
positive ones. And I don’t want to get involved in all that. Some days,
politics really gets me down. Then other days I think, who cares? I just
bought this sweet telescope.
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GUTFELD: Just getting angrier every day. So Trump mostly made decisions
based on principles of incentives and disincentives. And if it made him
look good or bad, who cares? It worked. Trump would never call a looter a
protester because that’s an incentive to loot. He never paid people not to
work because that’s an incentive not to work. He’d never applaud identity
정치, because that’s an incentive to divide.
진실, he’d make fun of your weight or your hair. But that’s the price you
pay for common sense. 을 더한, you’ve got Frank Luntz to join a gym. I go back
to this analogy. When you hire a lawyer, do you want everyone in the court
to like him or do you want everyone to go Holy crap, not that guy? 지우다
was supposed to be America’s lawyer. And he was (BLEEP) but he was (BLEEP)
and if there’s one thing we Americans love, 이것의 (BLEEP).
신원 미상의 남성: 기간.
GUTFELD: He’s blushing. Let’s welcome our guests. We always see eye to eye
because we’re both wearing heels. America’s newsroom co-anchor and “그만큼
FIVE” 공동 호스트, 다나 페리 노. If looks could kill his face would be on trial
for a murder. America’s newsroom co-anchor Bill Hemmer. 그는 ~였다
valedictorian of his driver’s ed class, host of the Guy Benson Show on Fox
News Radio, Guy Benson.
She’s returned to everything from her wedding, 그녀의 남편을 포함하여. 여우
News Contributor Kat Timpf. 다나, can you explain to me what I just read or
what just happened? I thought that they were actually going to rebuild the
wall but turns out they’re only going to build on the levees.
다나 페리 노, 폭스 뉴스 앵커: 예. 그래서, 알 잖아, 내말은, you would — 나는
understand why you would get excited because it would make sense. And sense
is like you’d like common sense. So here’s the deal. Down there at the
경계, lots of flooding can happen. So there’s a levee system. 그러나
President Trump said is since there’s already a levee system, let’s just
put the wall that we’re continuing to build on top of that.
PERINO: Because that will save taxpayers money. It’s already approved
environmentally, and we can just go ahead and do that. But then they stop
the wall. But they still need the levees.
PERINO: So they’re going to do the levees, but not the wall. Which doesn’t
GUTFELD: It doesn’t make sense.
BILL HEMMER, 폭스 뉴스 앵커: How much sense does she make though?
HEMMER: Holy cow.
HEMMER: I get these five days a week.
GUTFELD: 예. No wonder you’re going crazy. Must be driving you nuts. 나는
went through this too. 끔찍하다. Are you tired of the dog yet?
PERINO: He hasn’t met — 내말은, Jasper’s, 알 잖아.
GUTFELD: You haven’t met Jasper yet?
HEMMER: I have met Jasper.
PERINO: 오, 확인.
GUY BENSON, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: And she has a dog?
GUTFELD: 예. Jasper is like — Jasper is kind of like the size of a
construction worker who wants to sit on your lap. So when he climbs up on
top of you it’s — 모르겠어요 —
PERINO: He’s totally ripped right now too. 확인. He looks great.
GUTFELD: 괜찮아. Tell me more. 알 잖아, I feel like I should be see —
every time I hear levy. I just feel like I should be singing American Pie.
HEMMER: Probably. I thought it was a great explanation.
HEMMER: I think it’s the rainy season down there. You got to make sure it’s
taken care of. I feel like though this is like red eye on steroids. 내말은,
what did I just drop into? Huh? 내말은, how about the upgrade for Gutfeld?
HEMMER: Which is actually pretty nice.
GUTFELD: 예. It’s a nice studio. I like it. It’s like Bill’s never watched
the show before.
GUTFELD: He’s going, what his place? Am I on in a spaceship?
PERINO: He kept commenting on the studio. It’s like, thanks for your
지원하다, Bill Hemmer.
BENSON: During the opening mono, I’m looking over at Hemmer and he looks
like he’s — like where are the exits? Like if I had to go to a break for,
like they show it Gutfeld exclamation point to the Gutfeld question mark.
GUTFELD: I know what the problem was. It was the — it was the dishwasher
PERINO: Dishwasher one. I wanted to know what his dream was.
GUTFELD: 예. 오. 오, wow. That is a good Joe. That’s a good joke.
PERINO: I was joking.
KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: 예.
GUTFELD: What are your thoughts? 오, here’s the theory. I believe that
Biden is truly the opposite of Trump and that Trump was bad words good
행위. But Biden is nice words no deeds.
GUTFELD: Or bad deeds.
TIMPF: The policies are awful and things are terrible. But it’s worse than
그. Because much like my string of unemployed ex-boyfriends, in addition
to things going terribly. They’re also incredibly expensive to maintain.
TIMPF: 권리? Like he spent almost $ 150 billion on education. Like doubling
the Department of Education’s budget. It’s not even just, 오, kids are
doing poorly in school and kids aren’t even in school at all.
TIMPF: So it’s really bad, things are bad and it costs a lot of money. 아니
GUTFELD: Guy, I know that you were — you were you were critical of Trump.
Don’t you kind of miss the mean tweets in the $ 2.00 가스?
BENSON: Definitely the cheaper gas, definitely most of the policies. And I
think part of the frustration for a lot of normal people who are not
completely obsessed with hating Donald Trump or hating Joe Biden is this
weird obsession with doing exactly the opposite.
BENSON: It’s like, 잘, if that was a Trump-related thing, we have to make
that anathema. 이것의, 알 잖아, out of bounds, we can’t do it. 따라서
some good policy just went overboard, and it’s just pure signaling.
BENSON: And it’s stupid.
BENSON: I know that this was the smart power crew, it’s what they call
themselves under Obama. This is stupid.
GUTFELD: 예, 예. This is what spouses do, 다나, like when you’re planning
a fun night out and you get into a little tiff and then it’s like, 오,
we’re not going. 그게 다야.
GUTFELD: It’s like — 마치 —
HEMMER: That hurts all of us.
PERINO: 권리. They go so extremes.
PERINO: That actually does drive me crazy.
GUTFELD: It drives me nuts. It drives me nuts. I never do that.
GUTFELD: But you know what great though? I’m always glad when something
gets canceled. 아니, 아니, but we had plans to go to the opera.
HEMMER: You know when they go in the first place.
HEMMER: I thought the biggest whopper of the week on the border was what
the head of the DHS said this week, 백악관에서. He said the
PERINO: Probably have film illusions video.
GUTFELD: He was thinking about the bookstore. 확인. It’s an old joke. 나는하지 않는다
care at this point. 알 잖아, you got — you got some winners in that
monologue. 그래서, don’t complain about an old joke. 괜찮아. We got to move
의 위에. Up next, which state Govs are a cut above? That’s next.
GUTFELD: Meet the Govs who deserve our loves.
(비디오 클립 시작)
(비디오 클립 종료)
GUTFELD: They spent three weeks on that. 그래서, the criteria for this is very
strict. Mostly don’t lock people inside or kill the elderly. Anything after
that is awesome. First up is Governor Mike DeWine of the Buckeye State. ㅏ
nickname that I just came up with. He’s ending Ohio’s COVID orders as of
June 2nd, I hope this is true. And that includes the mask mandate and
distancing in restaurants. 또한, teenage boys can return to practicing
French kissing on their fist.
HEMMER: At least three.
GUTFELD: That’s tasteless, 너무. I wrote that one. That’s three weeks for
more people to get vaccinated. And he’s got a plan for that too. 그는
holding a lottery with five cash prizes of a million bucks each. Any adults
who’s had at least one vaccine dose can enter and he’s paying for it with
federal pandemic relief funds. Here’s DeWine explaining the reason for the
(비디오 클립 시작)
GOV. MIKE DEWINE (R-OH): You’ve got people who clearly are not going to get
그것. They have every right to make that decision. But then you have people
in the middle and they’re the kind of persuadable people and they’re people
who may have just put it off. Some people are going to say Mike DeWine is
crazy and that this is a big waste of money. But I’ll tell you what the
real waste is.
What the real waste is when somebody at this stage when we have the vaccine
that will pretty much 100 percent protect you but you don’t take it.
(비디오 클립 종료)
GUTFELD: I’m going to look like him in 10 연령. To tell you right — I can
tell you that right now. Anyway, 그 동안에, 플로리다, the birthplace of
Hooters, Guy. Governor Ron DeSantis will pardon anyone charged for not
wearing masks or socially distancing. The move came a day before the CDC
announced fully vaccinated people could stop wearing masks indoors. 그
announced it on live T.V. to a couple facing jail time for letting people
forgo masks at their gym.
(비디오 클립 시작)
GOV. 론 데 산티스 (R-FL): When our clemency board meets in the coming
주, we’ll issue pardons not only for Mike and Jillian, but for any
Floridian that may have outstanding infractions for things like mass and
사회적 거리두기. These things with hell should be advisory, they should
not be punitive.
(비디오 클립 종료)
GUTFELD: Hmm. That looks like a hell of a T.V. 프로그램. Anyway, that couple
was facing 120 days in jail which isn’t so bad because in prison, 당신은 할 수 있습니다
always catch up on your reading. Did you see the book Dana wrote before
everything’s going to be OK? It was called everything sucks and I’m going
to murder you. And it also was a best seller. 괜찮아. So Bill, what are
your thoughts on the lottery?
HEMMER: We had him on our program this morning. Governor DeWine. 나는 생각한다
they started aiming a little too high on this.
HEMMER: 내말은, you’re starting at a million?
HEMMER: Why don’t we start at like 10 grand and see what kind of reaction
you get then maybe work your way up. They probably have done the science
where they know that they’ll get more — more people are suckers for more
HEMMER: I get it. But these are — these are — these are taxpayer dollars
that you’re saying we’re going to give out a million dollars a week for
everybody that gets vaccinated.
GUTFELD: 예. But is it really — 내말은, we could just print more money,
HEMMER: Who does that?
GUTFELD: 모르겠어요. 하지만 내 말은, just put it.
TIMPF: You can’t give it back though. This is money that they were already
given for COVID Relief Fund. And so when I saw this, 나는 같았다, 이것은
super dumb. And now I think it’s dumb, but it’s not his fault. Because you
can’t just give it back to the taxpayers. That’s not allowed. 그래서, he found
a way to sort of kind of do that. And incentivizing vaccines is the best
thing you can do because that’s the best, clearest, scientifically backed
path to going back to normal.
GUTFELD: 예, that’s true. Guy, what did you make of this?
BENSON: I want to clear for the record. I actually did eat at Hooters for
the food. It’s like I would.
TIMPF: 오, you were the guy.
BENSON: Reading a Playboy for the articles.
BENSON: And Hooters for the food. That’s me for real.
GUTFELD: Ate wings.
BENSON: Wings and beer.
GUTFELD: 예, that’s what they call them.
BENSON: And sports.
BENSON: Other things.
GUTFELD: Oh yes, I love — I love the sports.
BENSON: I actually do love sport.
GUTFELD: Baseball and the basketball. I do love sweaty men running up and
down the field. 죄송합니다.
BENSON: 아니, 괜찮아. You’re lost in a moment there.
BENSON: I want to let you hold on to it for just a second and go back to
your wife. Now here’s the thing.
GUTFELD: 아니. At least he didn’t use air quotes.
BENSON: For her wife? 그래서, I think this is actually a brilliant idea. 과
I’ll say that I don’t hate it.
BENSON: Because you’re right, the money is spent. You could argue it’s
wasteful, but it’s already out there. And the data shows you’ve got most
people who either have the vaccine already or are lining up to do it.
You’ve got a handful of folks like 20 percent or so who were saying we’re
not getting this period. Then as DeWine was saying, the governor, there’s
this group of persuadables, they’re not ideological, they don’t care about
They’re not going to respond to like, typical, 알 잖아, PSAs and that sort
of thing. You’ve got to give them something non-ideological. And what is
more universal than you might win a million dollars like oh, 알 잖아, 그
gets my attention. I’m already vaccinated. I might do it again, if it’s
GUTFELD: It’s publisher’s clearing house.
HEMMER: 확인. But with this money, 내말은, DeWine is get in line to the —
start cutting back on the unemployment payments, just like a lot of these
other states are doing.
HEMMER: And I ate the wings at Hooters too. I was a fan. Blue cheese.
GUTFELD: Do you know what the best thing about Hooters was they really
revolutionized pantyhose with shorts. 내말은, I thought I was just the one.
PERINO: 내말은, but did you find that comfortable?
GUTFELD: 예. Sometimes it — sometimes it ran up when I was running at
night. 그러나, 알 잖아, let’s get away from what I do in my private time in
the park. 뭐 — is it using a lottery for other things? Like to use a
lottery as a way to force people to focus on things. Like what if –what if
you were a politician and you said, you vote for me or you support my
campaign and one of you will win a million dollars?
Like if you had the money like you could — it’s like a Ponzi scheme.
Everybody puts money in but you’re going to give it out. 당신은 할 수 있습니다 —
HEMMER: That would be illegal.
PERINO: 예. That would be bribery, I would think, buying votes. But I
생각한다 — here’s a couple things. One is going to make sure that this money
will be better spent in Ohio by whoever wins it and it was going to be
spent by the government and something our producer said in our ear this
morning and I thought was smart is actually the taxpayers, 연방
taxpayers that put this money in will get some back because that money is
GUTFELD: 오, they’ll get 50 percent of it back which will go to some lousy
PERINO: Could go to a levy.
GUTFELD: Hmm. But that levy was dry. And they were singing.
HEMMER: 다시. Bye-bye, Miss American.
GUTFELD: 소년, that song drove me crazy.
PERINO: It goes on for so long.
HEMMER: 예. 17 minutes long.
TIMPF: And we have more of it.
GUTFELD: And it’s in — and it’s in every Irish bar in D.C. If you go to —
if you went to Iowa there’s always some guy up there singing it, 이들
drunk sorority girls throwing up on your feet.
HEMMER: Another verse. Thank god.
GUTFELD: 예. 예. 괜찮아. That wrap in me. 확인. Still to come, should we
be complaining about woke army training? See their latest ad next.
GUTFELD: Will woke troops lack the will to attack? 미국. Army’s latest
recruitment campaign is creating quite the buzz for leaning hard into
깨어남. It’s got it all, same sex parenting, overcoming gender
stereotypes, equal rights marches. Ew. Kidding. 알 잖아, typical
battlefield preparation. 확인 해봐.
(비디오 클립 시작)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It begins in California, with a little girl raised by
two moms. Although I had a fairly typical childhood also marched for
equality. When I was six years old, one of my moms had an accident that
left her paralyzed. Doctor said she might never walk again. 결국
standing at the altar to marry my other mom. I began feeling like I’d been
handed so much in life, a sorority girl stereotype but what had I really
achieved on my own?
I needed my own adventures, my own challenge. And after meeting with an
army recruiter, I found it. A way to prove my inner strength and maybe
shatter some stereotypes along the way. I’m U.S. Army Corporal Emma
Malonelord and I answered my calling.
(비디오 클립 종료)
GUTFELD: 됐어요. Now let’s compare that to what the Russians are
(비디오 클립 시작)
(비디오 클립 종료)
GUTFELD: 예수. 세상에. By Russian is a little rusty? But the scared the
(BLEEP) out of me. 나는 생각한다 — I think it proved their point. 그래서, Guy, 나는
생각 — I actually thought that the first ad wasn’t bad but it’s very
touchy feely. Should we be embarrassed about our privates?
BENSON: 보기, I found the cartoon animation to be a little bit strange. 나는
think that just as an American citizen, I’m more concerned about military
readiness than equality or inclusiveness. I don’t think that they’re
mutually exclusive though.
BENSON: What I was distracted by was this wedding. And you can ask Kat, 나는
will attend any wedding even if I’m not technically invited.
BENSON: 그래서, I kind of want to go hang out at a wedding like that. 그
seems sort of appealing.
GUTFELD: 지금, you were a cat’s wedding, weren’t you?
BENSON: 나는 ~였다.
KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: The flower girl was a guy. 그래서 —
GUTFELD: 예, the flower girl was a guy.
BENSON: In heels. And it was not, just to clarify.
BILL HEMMER, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CO-HOST: 그래서, the flower girl was not god, 그것
was not it was a guy.
BENSON: It was one of her, one of her buddies.
GUTFELD: 알 잖아, let’s try to get back on point, 계산서. I don’t know you
have to (INAUDIBLE) these topics.
HEMMER: My feeling is, 내말은, half of me thinks whatever works. And half
of me thinks I, 알 잖아, there’s a lot of tough Marines who want to eat
HEMMER: And probably will go for a different spot.
GUTFELD: 그래서, what do you, so how do you — 내말은, if you were in charge,
which ad would you prefer to use?
HEMMER: I would use option number two.
HEMMER: And I’d say (INAUDIBLE).
GUTFELD: 오, wow.
GUTFELD: The only Russian you know,
HEMMER: I have probably three words. I get by with that.
HEMMER: I think it’s interesting. Can you say whether or not this would be
a campaign that would be used in the CIA or the U.S. military if Trump had
won a second term?
GUTFELD: 아니, he probably rail against it. He’ll probably make a tweet.
HEMMER: I think the answer’s no.
GUTFELD: 예. 그래서, here’s a theory, I do realize you’re probably comparing
something that’s internal. 모르겠어요. Maybe that was Russian internal
...에, to there, to get people to join. 그래서, I always get — I’m getting the
feeling that this this touchy feeliness is a protection racket, so that
people will let — be less inclined to think of the military as something
dangerous. Does that make sense?
다나 페리 노, 폭스 뉴스 채널 호스트: 내말은, it could be, it depends on also
what they’re recruiting for. 그래서, we had that CIA video before. And one of
the things that a retired CIA agent told me is that that you need to, 그
ad was focusing on Latina women. 확인. 그래서, the reason is because apparently
China is kicking our rear ends in Latin America, and they need to recruit
people that will be able to blend in when they’re undercover. 그래서, 나는하지 않는다
know what they’re recruiting for, and this young woman that said she found
her calling, she’s working for the military. Maybe she’s a cybersecurity
PERINO: — and can figure out how to kick the butts of Dark Side.
HEMMER: 오, you think I might be smart?
PERINO: 모르겠어요. I don’t know what they’re recruiting for but I have a
feeling they wouldn’t be wasting their time.
BENSON: There’s got to be analytics behind it, 권리? Or some explanation
beyond just pure wokeness?
GUTFELD: Or could be like cartoons
PERINO: Could be. Animators.
GUTFELD: 예. 예. 이기는 하지만, I got to say, 그, Kat, maybe because it’s
I’m a masculine male, that I was —
TIMPF: Very masculine.
GUTFELD: Very masculine. I was taken by the Russian ad. 잘, it spoke to
TIMPF: 예. Seeing any sort of woke anything is always kind of weird, 그러나
especially this one you’re watching it and it’s all you know, 신원
politics and girl power and, and fluffy and you’re watching it you remind
당신 자신, this is a recruitment ad for the world’s most powerful killing
GUTFELD: 예, that’s my point. 예.
TIMPF: And then it gets a little weirder and also I just married a veteran
so like as someone who’s half-veteran.
GUTFELD: Thank you for your service.
TIMPF: 예, half-veteran. 아니, half-veteran by marriage. 명백하게, I do not
mean that. But I’ve talked to him a little bit about his experience serving
in the military and he tells me stories I got to say, sounds pretty hard.
처럼, so this stuff you had to do? I’m like, 뭐? 알 잖아, like you had
to do that? And it sounds so crazy.
그래서, I just think that you know, she’s explaining it as something she did.
알 잖아, how could you possibly do that? 그녀가 말했다, she did it because you
know, her sorority life wasn’t fulfilling and she wanted adventure and her
sorority sister was in Italy. I feel like the way my husband explained it
to me and I think the way most people would explain it is that you do it
for a reason other than yourself and putting your country over yourself and
that wasn’t mentioned here at all.
GUTFELD: Why didn’t he re-up your husband?
TIMPF: 오, he didn’t re-up? 오, 모르겠어요, because he didn’t want to.
HEMMER: He want to spend time with, Kat.
GUTFELD: 알 잖아, not much of a veteran, maybe a half a veteran.
TIMPF: 예, (INAUDIBLE) 지금 50/50 because we got married.
GUTFELD: 내말은, I identify as a veteran without ever serving. Just so you
know. 괜찮아. Up next, a host who faked being fun, and now her show is
GUTFELD: On camera she laughed, while she badgered her staff. 그래서, 모두
good things must end. And also the Ellen DeGeneres Show. 예, the 83-year-
old entertainer just announced that the upcoming 19th season of her show
will be its last. 분명히, she created a workplace more toxic than an
Amazon warehouse in Chernobyl.
Countless allegations surfaced last summer that the show’s work environment
was rife with harassment and discrimination. Following those charges,
Ellen’s ratings dropped faster than Kevin Spacey’s pants at a boy band pool
파티. Try to say that fast. But Ellen told the today’s show, home of Matt
Lauer that the bad press, the bad press actually had nothing to do with her
결정. 권리. And the Titanic didn’t hit an iceberg, it chose to sink.
(비디오 클립 시작)
ELLEN DEGENERES, T.V. HOST: If it was while I was quitting, I would have
not come back this year. I really did think about not coming back because
it did, 알 잖아, 내말은, it was devastating. I am a kind of person, I am a
person who likes to make people happy.
(비디오 클립 종료)
GUTFELD: 알 잖아, the real reason she says is it was just too easy telling
the Hollywood reporter, “When you’re a creative person, you constantly need
to be challenged, and as great as this show is and as fun as it is, 이것의
just not a challenge anymore.” 잘, that’s true. Here’s an idea, when your
viewership is down to 43 퍼센트, why not consider that that challenge?
Enemy time to make sure that my staff isn’t pissed at me like Ellen, I had
my assistant James, ask them how stuff is going so far.
(비디오 클립 시작)
신원 미상의 남성: 그래서, how’s Greg been behind the scenes lately?
신원 미상의 남성: 오, unbelievable. When I first got this job, Greg flew
to Arkansas and packed my bags for me. And then when we got to New York, 그
said I could live in his apartment, and he would go stay at a youth hostel,
which doesn’t really make sense. But oh, 예, the show’s been great.
TIMPF: 잘, my wedding dress got destroyed right before the wedding. 그래서,
Greg stayed up for 36 hours hand knitting me a new one. And he brought it
to my apartment, delivered it to me. And before he left, he gave my husband
a pedicure. My husband didn’t even asked, Greg just went straight for his
toes. Then he was also the DJ, he cleaned up and we woke up the morning
after the wedding. Greg was in our kitchen, asking us how we liked our
eggs. I don’t know how he got in.
신원 미상의 남성: Pretty good, 나는 추측한다. Although it was weird. 다른
일, he came in with this igloo cooler and he said, 오, here’s one of my
kidneys. 나는 같았다, 그렉, I’m not even sick. And he said, 오, 잘, 하지마
worry, just in case you are later, you should have this.
(비디오 클립 종료)
GUTFELD: Those are pretty exhausting investigation into my staff there,
Kat, I think we can safely say that I am not a jerk, despite the rumors. Do
you think this is just people, when you become successful, you have to
spend less time with people around you because you’re servicing. Take Ellen
Degeneres, she’s servicing millions of people in her show. 따라서, 여자
has to kind of like mitigate or control the amount of exposure with actual
real people. Does that make sense?
TIMPF: It does in theory, 그러나, but with, 와. But I’m still always hanging
out on the street, now I’m super famous. 아니, but all these reports, there
are so many of them, of people being like multiple you will have the same
story of her handlers for an interview or anything with her would come up
and say don’t look her in the eye.
GUTFELD: But that’s an old story. 그들, they used that with all celebrities
like Sinatra, somebody who’s in the elevator, don’t look him in the eye. 나는
always feel that that’s like the go to, ...에, ...에 —
TIMPF: It’s also weird that she won’t acknowledge it at all. She’s like
this had nothing to do with just be like, 오, my ratings are down I’m
leaving. She’s like, 아니, it’s just not challenging, and I’m so creative,
and I’m actually so good at my job that I have to quit. 아니, 처럼, new now
도전적인, new challenges. She should look at let people look at her.
That could be the new challenge.
GUTFELD: 다나? Ellen is blaming this on misogyny. But there was a, there
were more there were females that were involved in, in criticizing her and
PERINO: 예, that was not, that was gender neutral. That’s what you called
gender neutral. 그래서, when she’s doing the interview with Savannah to me,
like she’s, she has no there’s no joy in her voice, 권리? 그래서, she’s saying
that she’s ending it on her own terms, because she doesn’t feel challenged
충분히. But she actually sounds like she, like there’s a gun to her head.
PERINO: 그래서, is that — she’s like, 잘, if she’s speaking as if, 처럼, 여자
knows that she has to do this interview and get through it. But if she
really wanted us to believe that, she could be there wasn’t challenge
anymore. I loved it for 19 연령. I got a lot of projects coming up and I’m
sorry that people felt that way on my team. We’re moving forward. 내말은,
there’s a way to do that. I have to be everybody’s press secretary.
HEMMER: She’s good. That’s really good.
BENSON: Speaking of gun to head, how do you think Greg got all those
testimonials from his staff? That was all a gun threat, 명백하게, 그 남자
is a tyrant.
HEMMER: You have an amazing staff. I have a source in Hollywood. His name
is Jesse waters. He said on the fire that Ellen has a staff of about 255
PERINO: 예, that came from Tyrus, 사실은. Jesse’s source was Tyrus.
HEMMER: 그래서, 지금, we’re playing the telephone game. Kat, Guy, 255, I like
Ellen. I’ve always liked her on the on the Seinfeld thing when they were
driving around the car in LA and the comedians having coffee —
HEMMER: (INAUDIBLE) telling Dana earlier today she, she was approachable,
shy, I would say but approachable. I’ve always liked her.
PERINO: She’s quite vulnerable, 그렉.
GUTFELD: I can’t stand the woman.
TIMPF: She wants me over and just look at her for a few hours, then I’ll
BENSON: 보기, having a successful show for 19 years in her seasons in that
day part is really hard. 처럼, there’s talent there. There are people
working hard. I think part of the issue is when your whole brand is just
즐거움, happiness. And then this kind of explodes all over it, that is your
TIMPF: 권리. She ended every show being be kind to one another.
BENSON: 권리? That becomes —
GUTFELD: This is why like I’m always angry and mean.
HEMMER: Because that’s who you are.
GUTFELD: That’s who I am. 그래서, it’s not like oh, I’m not going to say to
everybody hug everybody. Then I go outside, I just yell it and we expect to
남용. 알 잖아, the other thing though, is I want her to be a guest on the
보여 주다. So I have to defend her and I’m going to say that there’s a lot of
people complain about people just because you complain about your boss,
권리? 예, it’s just like, it’s a thing. It’s a natural thing to do, 조차
when it’s being recorded by me.
TIMPF: I’ve never. I don’t know what you’re talking about.
GUTFELD: 알아. 오, I can’t wait to the next. 확인. Did COVID defeat all you
can eat, or will buffet owners replace stuffing your face?
GUTFELD: Bill Hemmer just asked if we do a show on Friday. I bet he want, 나는
bet he wants to be on the show, so he gets the car service to go out.
Doesn’t even care. Would you do a show on the weekends?
HEMMER: I was thinking you’re a big shot like Ellen and you do two shows in
a day and that way you get three days —
GUTFELD: That’ll happen soon, but not right now. And also, I love working
on Friday onward. 확인, are these the final days for endless buffets? 지금
that restaurants are opening back up buffet owners are wondering how to
feed customers while meeting new hygiene restrictions. And the CDC is
clamping down like a pair of tongs on the last strip of bacon.
Instead of the traditional all you can carry to the table without getting
harpooned approach, cruise ships and casinos are considering service
options like point in grunt where diners gesture at the food and an
employee dumps it on their plates, just like they do at SeaWorld also
감옥. Or they talk about using the arrow glove which is the plastic hand
wrap, much like the ones we all wear when handling Kat’s hair extensions.
Disgusting what’s on that.
Buffets are hard to keep clean. The food sits for hours. There’s cross
contamination and the sneeze guard are always disgusting. A bearable Sim
City of snot. 아직도, I’ll miss the buffet. Where else can a man eat expired
sushi and glazed pizza like it’s his last meal, only to wash it down with a
Coke Zero. 그래서, let’s pause for a moment to remember this culinary
greatness. In lieu of flowers, just go to Arby’s.
BENSON: 난 못해, I can’t believe how quickly you bounce back from how sad
그건. He was so young. I should gather myself.
GUTFELD: I hear it’s going to be an open casket.
BENSON: 그래서, 마치, going back to the good old days, open. And this
사실은, I’ve an anecdote.
GUTFELD: 확인. And yes, I love anecdote.
BENSON: I was at a buffet style thing recently, it was a very nice salad
bar. And I had my plate ready to go, and as was mentioned there, there was
now an attendant. And they’re like, literally every item, they would say,
would you like this? You couldn’t touch anything because of COVID. We like
이, we’d like that. And I felt shamed. Like I didn’t take as much as I
want them. Like I’m like, 오, that’s more than enough for shooter. 나는
처럼, 아니, 그렇지 않다. 야, I want more, but I can’t say like someone’s gonna
be judging you. 예, maybe it’s like good for my health. But it was sad. 나는
wanted not to be judged.
GUTFELD: That’s a great study. Because you did that with somebody was
looking at you while you’re at a buffet and costs you —
BENSON: A hundred percent. 잘, you have to affirmatively say yes to every
single thing. You’re going to take loss. And yes, you are a very special
GUTFELD: I would be so obnoxious. What are you joking? 날 봐, 네
slices of bacon. This is a buffet, I get 20 like it’s why not and then I’m
going to throw away half of it. 아니, I won’t. I won’t do that, 계산서. 뭐
당신은, what do you are you going to miss the buffet?
HEMMER: Those things are big in New York City, 그런데, 그런데, you
know the city that was?
GUTFELD: 예, the city no longer exists.
HEMMER: By the way what I was getting when you said buffets in New York.
What flashed in my head was a really terrible story. 다나, do you remember
those buffet stories that were happening a couple years ago in New York
where somebody was going into the bodegas and doing bad things? 어서.
예. That happened. 오, we talked about this. We did not. Remember this. 그것
일어난. It happened in Midtown. There was a phantom pooper.
PERINO: I remember that.
GUTFELD: It she Google —
TIMPF: The greatest thing in the world.
BENSON: I don’t think Dana spends a lot of time in Midtown Bodega, so she
probably wasn’t overly concerned.
GUTFELD: Are you implying that she’s racist? Because you’re right. 아니. 아니,
확인. I have to wash my brain from that thought. But it happened. So Bill,
are there any favorite buffet foods?
HEMMER: I think for me now, chicken wings, chicken wings. Bacon. 확인, here’s
a here’s the thing, cat. So when you go to any buffet in New York City,
they all have the same stuff. It’s like the same soup and they have the,
the big silver things as turkey chili, chicken noodle. And then and then
the specials are the same. And then you have the chicken wings. You got the
lasagna? baked potato. There’s one place that makes all this Where is it?
It’s not it’s not in the bodega is a big place somewhere in Brooklyn.
That’s the size of like the world’s largest cemetery and they’re just
scooping it out of the ground. 이것의 — 사람들!
TIMPF: 예, it’s disgusting. All you can eat buffets are disgusting, 그러나
also so many of the best things about life, 권리?
TIMPF: 처럼, there was this Chinese buffet in Hillsdale, Michigan when I
went to college at Hillsdale and I would love to go there and just eat and
먹다. And I felt terrible for the rest of the day after every time. But I
say after every time because I did keep going back.
GUTFELD: 예, 바로 그거죠. 알 잖아, what’s interesting about it, 이, get to
this analogy. You look forward to a buffet, like going and then you get
there and within 10 의사록, you’re regretting what you’ve done to
당신 자신. It’s like those Brazilian mean, meat restaurants where they keep
coming over. So it’s, I think it’s just like sexual promiscuity. The idea
그 자체, the endless supply of sexual novelty seems enterprising or fun guy,
but then after 10 의사록, you’re like, 나는 피곤하다. I’m hungry. Let’s go to
BENSON: Was that directed at me for a particular reason, 그렉?
GUTFELD: I don’t know why I said guy. I just figured.
BENSON: 오, I think you do.
PERINO: But it’s not scientific. This whole thing.
GUTFELD: 아니, it’s not scientific.
PERINO: That’s why it’s making me mad. COVID doesn’t spread on surfaces.
지금, we don’t have to wear masks indoors. This is all nonsense and
unnecessary, and I want my buffet back.
GUTFELD: I want my buffet back too. We are losing, we are losing parts of
PERINO: It’s unnecessary. The Golden Chorale has a great buffet. And my
여자 형제, Angie, she would do anything to go there.
GUTFELD: There’s a Midtown — never mind.’ It was golden too, but for the
잘못된 이유. I don’t know what, what’s wrong with me, but it’s something
really bad happened to me.
HEMMER: I think you’re OK.
GUTFELD: 확인. 곧 돌아 올게요.
GUTFELD: 우리는 시간이 없다. Set your DVRs every night so you never miss an episode. Why would you? Thank you Dana Perino, Bill Hemmer and Guy Benson,
캣 팀프, our studio audience. “FOX NEWS @ NIGHT” with Shannon Bream is
다음. I’m Greg Gutfeld and I love you America.
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