Greg Gutfeld: Racism is a public health crisis, if you're a racist

But all of us here, in this studio, having something in common. We aren’t dead – at least yet! ‘Cuz in New York City, not getting assaulted is akin to winning the lottery.

It’s a violent city right now. This morning I saw a rat with a black eye. Murders spiked big time — jumping from 319 in 2019 to 500 in 2020. Now, we shy away from numbers around here. Kat hates math. But change that vowel to an “e”… That’s another story.

That jump was the largest since national record-keeping began in 1960. That was the year the mob finally stopped killing all the record keepers. So yes, we may not be number one anymore in math or science, but check out how we kill each other. Where’s our gold medal in that? We gotta host the Olympic games so we can add competitive drive-bys as a new sport. 

But, as the media quickly points out – if you remove murder from the stats, crime has dropped. Whew. That’s a relief. “So, hey honey, did you hear this year you’re less likely to get robbed? Why aren’t you answering me? Oh wow, you’ve been murdered. Well, at least you weren’t robbed! Now let me move your body before I get arrested for littering.”

Maybe I’m crazy – but if murder nearly doubles, while lesser stuff is down – I’m not throwing a parade. Mainly ‘cuz no one will show up, since they’ve all been murdered.

So the crime wave ain’t just NYC. Chicago had 771 murders last year, compared to 500 the prior year. LA went from 258 to 351. That’s why these cities are hemorrhaging residents – because the residents are hemorrhaging!

Murders have jumped 10 percent from 2020 in 87 cities, according to the New York Times. And speaking of murder, you know it killed the times to admit that. Still, the Times is in full denial. To them – it has nothing to do with defunding and marginalizing law enforcement while cheering on the destruction of cities or releasing repeat violent offenders onto the streets — essentially decriminalizing crime. No, no, no.

To quote a community organizer in the piece: “People are desperate and they don’t have a lot of options, so they turn to violence as a way to solve things.” So, is that a desperate person’s only option? Look for a job or kill someone? Congratulations media. You’ve dressed the city in a short skirt and said she was asking for it. 

If you don’t see the criminal as the perpetrator, but as a victim, you happily excuse yourself from punishing the perp. However, the media would surely change their minds if these crimes were being committed by Trump supporters.

So, what is New York City doing while citizens are picked off like clay pigeons at a skeet shoot? The Board of Health has declared racism a public health crisis. Not murder. Not mental illness. Not drug abuse. Not pumpkin spice lattes. But racism.

Those victims pushed onto subway tracks will be so relieved. They passed a resolution declaring that COVID has worsened the suffering among “communities of color.” Now, if they’re referring to rest homes, they might be right. Black, white, brown… Racism didn’t kill them. The carelessness and stupidity of our politicians did. 

One state senator, Brad Hoylman, said we need an “urgent call to action we can no longer ignore as a government or society.” Yes, because we’ve been ignoring racism. Sorry, where’s this idiot been? The only place where racism isn’t being discussed ad nauseum is under the sea. And even there, the great white shark gets a bad rap.

This resolution came six months after the inept CDC declared racism a serious public health threat. And now they’ve created a mayoral racial justice commission. Who’s gunna be in charge of it, the mayor’s wife? Our mayor is stupid. But his wife is worse: she ran the mental health program that made 800 million bucks—taxpayers’ money—disappear. As a result:  what’s happening on our streets looks like the trailer for the sequel to “one flew over the cuckoo’s nest.” 

So is racism a public health crisis? Let’s ask the angry Black male.

Tyrus: Sorry Gutfeld, I won’t be in this week—really under the weather. I mean your oppression, white devil. I’m sorry I’ve got the racism really bad this week. The good news devil, is that it’s me personally, it’s an illness.

Maybe it’s true. Racism is a public health crisis, if you’re a racist. Seriously, if you think being a racist offers you any advantage in life, then you’re worse than a racist, You’re Joy Reid.

The quickest way to end your life — be a racist. I would have added being caught whacking off on a work zoom call, but CNN proved me wrong. But the left maintains you can be guilty of racism without any proof at all.

It’s like dunking witches. If they float, they’re guilty, but if they’re innocent, they drown. And if they get hepatitis, the water is from Kat’s hot tub.

You can call it systemic, or unconscious racism – no matter what you call it, it’s designed to get around your denial of being a bigot. Your blood runs red, white, and racist. Except for the accusers, who are somehow born without that evil gene.

So, is racism a problem? Sure. But it didn’t rape that woman on the train in Philly, while people filmed it. It didn’t kill that Filipino nurse in Times Square two weeks ago. Racism didn’t send that other Asian woman down a flight of subway stairs, to her death. Racism didn’t push people in front of trains. Racism didn’t force closures of stores that can no longer keep up with retail theft.

Or wait. Maybe racism is behind this. Because what else could be fueling the denial of rising homicide rates that’s killing so many Blacks? The denial exposes the underlying message from the elite activist class: what do you expect from these people? That’s the racism. And it’s a true public health crisis.

Seriously, if COVID revealed anything — it’s that living under Democrat leadership is the most dangerous co-morbidity one could have. 

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the October 21, 2021 edition of “Gutfeld!”

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