So with that, on to tonight’s monologue.
Asi que how about that Monkeypox?
Bien, there is a transition you don’t see. We beat COVID and now we got Monkeypox.
For an update, let’s go live to some monkeys. Practicing safe Monkeypox, supongo.
We’ve been monitoring this closely, but not that closely. Eran following CDC guidelines to keep at least six feet of distance from the closest chimp. But there are no concerns here. Bien, except for this weird rash I just got on my back.
En toda seriedad, 200 people are being monitored for infection in Massachusetts after coming into contact with a confirmed case. And it’s not Liz Warren, although she now claims she’s 13% primate.
The virus may have been spreading for months and experts claim there have even been suspected cases in Salt Lake City. Asi que, who was just in Salt Lake City? Sunday actually. I never should have gone to the zoo. I also shouldn’t have hopped the fence to hang out in the enclosure. But I could have sworn that orangutan winked at me.
It’s getting so bad. Some people aren’t actually coming in to work now.
STAFFER: Dirtbag Diary entry 345. Day one. I’ve been told that I have to isolate because I was exposed to the monkey pox. But I only associate with meatless monkeys that I make out of soybeans and my own hair. And no one is answering my calls, which has to be because they’re worried about the pox. There can be no other reason. Oh, that’s my landlord. I got to hide.
Oscar worthy. Ahora, por supuesto, Joe Biden is concerned over Monkeypox. But gas prices, Burrow comentó sobre todos los elogios que estaba recibiendo en las redes sociales y por mensaje de texto después de la victoria de regreso sobre los Chiefs para sellar el primer título de conferencia de la franquicia desde el. me pregunto porque. Bien, Te diré, because filling your tank will make you more sick than Monkeypox ever will. But I wonder when it comes to gas prices. We’re going through an incredible transition.
PRESIDENT BIDEN: When it comes to gas prices. We’re going through an incredible transition that is taking place. And God willing, when it’s over, we’ll be stronger and the world will be stronger and less reliant on fossil fuels. When this is over.
Bien, I bet Putin is relieved Joe isn’t blaming him anymore. So only then did Biden pay lip service to millions of Americans as they experienced an incredible transition of money from their paychecks to the pumps. Calling this crisis a transition is like saying Caitlyn Jenner used to be kind of a tomboy and we’re supposed to chalk it up to progress.
And now we’re told there are going to be blackouts. I’m sure if you ask Joe about them, he’ll say, “what’s the big deal, hombre? I have blackouts all the time.”
So in case you’re wondering if this administration feels your pain. They don’t. But they sure are great at creating it. And even if they did feel your pain, they’d still think it’s good for you. And that reminds me tonight’s bondage night at Doocy’s. Geraldo is always welcome as long as he doesn’t remove the ball gag.
But I posed this question before – what if what makes our lives worse is exactly what the Dems and the media wanted all along? It’s not just a bunch of unexpected side effects. Like the time I took those pills, I found in Dana Perino’s purse. I didn’t care for the diarrhea, but at least I won’t have heartworm.
Por supuesto, gas prices are high, but isn’t that what the left wants? The same way the anti-tobacco folks wanted a pack of cigs to cost 20 bucks so you’d quit. Por supuesto, cheap, plentiful clean gas heats your home, but it’s morally reprehensible.
It’s far better to price you out of affordable heat, cuales, sorpresa, rich white libs can endure while the rest of you have to decide whether to fill your tank or serve your kids Alpo in the shape of meatloaf and hope they don’t notice.
This is the chemo to cure you of your fossil fuel addiction, and it’s forced upon you by ol’ fossil in the White House himself. Maybe that’s why Joe hates fossil fuels. For him, it’s cannibalism.
But this is part of the oppressive theology. Because you live in the greatest country ever, you’re guilty. Por supuesto, the crime wave is bad, but law and order is inherently racist, so deal with it. Fewer cops, more criminals. That’s the price you pay for the revolution.
And for the left, anarchy creates chaos and chaos creates change. They want you angry, desperate and confused, like a car crash victim or someone whose TV is stuck on “La vista.”
I wonder what Joe Biden thinks about all this.
STAFFER IMITATING BIDEN: Oye, vamos. Mirar, Mira. We’re going to go through a great transition in this country. sí. To a country where less is more and more is less. And then we’ll be the country we always knew we were on the inside. And we’ll have new pronouns – Xi Jinping. Let’s do this. Vamos.
The ideology of punishment. The modern day, “let them eat cake” philosophy. Only nobody can afford to buy a main course. So never mind dessert. It’s a result of their punitive theater.
We’re a horrible, hopelessly corrupt country, although one everyone still wants to come to. And because we’re hopelessly bad, we are unpardonable. So instead of forgiveness, we deserve punishment and not the good kind where there’s a safe word involved.