Greg Gutfeld: The media's many mistakes helps them, because they are impossible to track

So will our media learn from this humiliating result? No – they buried it like Stelter’s treadmill under six months of dirty laundry.

Now, I bash the media a lot. Outside of nude jazzercise, it’s my favorite thing to do in front of an open window.  See: the media is almost wrong on everything -but like a middle school soccer game – they don’t like to keep score. But I do.

Of course, there’s the Wuhan lab lie. Both the media and big tech buried that — claiming even mentioning it was more racist than Sarah Silverman, Justin Trudeau and Ralph Northam in black face singing mammy.

There’s the IG report showing how the media lied about the secret service clearing Lafayette Park so trump could have a photo op with a bible. CNN ran with that BS. Especially this guy.

Jim Acosta: you’re watching this video now of the president walking through Lafayette park// the United States government does not use the military against civilians in this country unless there’s a damn good reason and this just wasn’t a damn good reason and all we ended up with the president of the united states looking like a wannabe dictator.

If that guy was any slimier, he’d be a bowl of okra drooled on by a St. Bernard.

Remember when the New York Times said the first Covid vaccine wouldn’t be ready until November 2033. Of course, they said that while Trump was president – so it served a purpose. I haven’t seen a prediction that wrong since I expected that cold sore to go away.

There’s the media embracing Jussie Smollett, a story with more holes than a golf course full of pool tables. And that’s one of many instances where the media played up hate crimes, only bury them when they turn out to be false.   

You also remember all the “final nail in the coffin” stories about Trump? Arrest is imminent, they would cry – and then, like the inside of Joy Reid’s head… Nothing.

Clip of Media examples: Maddow: it makes the worstcase scenario really palpable, the worst-case scenario that the president is a foreign agent// Cuomo: many are saying this is a day that will live in infamy, that’s true. They say it will be remembered as the day the presidency as the symbol of America’s protection died. // Melber: the noose is tightening around the trump campaign it’s activities, according to this evidence its attempts to get inside information according to one email from Mr. Stone to direct the type of material information they were trying to get from WikiLeaks which is according to Mueller originally alleged to be from Russia

You remember when the media joined together prior to a national election to disappear the Hunter Biden story – to help their side win? And then when it was safe – and Biden had won – the story just magically re-emerged. It’s all about timing – as even time magazine brazenly admitted that the media, activists and big tech had joined forces in manipulating narratives and turmoil to sway an election. Crap… Like Joe Biden talking about corn pop, I could go on forever.

Collusion. Obstruction. Kavanaugh. Covington. Julie fricken Swetnick. Michael fricken Avenatti. CNN slobbered all over that litigating lollipop. Remember the imminent slaughter of the Kurds? Or Trump golfing, when he was really in Afghanistan visiting the troops. How about Russians putting bounties on US troops under Trump. Or the nonstop bulls*** about tax returns.

How about when the phony bombshell book “anonymous” was falsely claimed to have been penned by a senior Trump official? Then you found out it was a nobody. 

Remember the media’s mockery of rising crime – after calling riots mostly peaceful? Those same people who defended looting, are psyched that a granny was sentenced for entering the capitol building. And now they claim it’s the Republicans not Dems who wanted to defund the police.

The media’s made so many mistakes, it actually helps them. Cuz like Kat’s ex’s – it’s impossible to keep track of all of them.

Now when I slam the media, people say, “but Greg you are the media.” Damn right. I’ve been doing this for 30 years. I’ve been all over – men’s mags, women’s mags, political journals, nudism advocacy—that’s how I met Dr. Drew. But I was the odd man out. A gorgeous square peg in an ugly stupid hole.

But that meant I could watch the proverbial sausage being made. It was more disgusting than watching a snuff film – so I’ve heard. The process is built on gathering eyeballs, not info. To make a profit, you need a narrative. So you cover only certain facts in a way that supports the preconceived view of reality. 

A story that doesn’t have a villain, does not rate. A story that doesn’t unfold like a movie plot holds no interest for the reporter. A story that doesn’t make the reporter feel important – well – like the first draft of a Jesse Watters book, it always gets rewritten… and rewritten… and rewritten

The media is a story-making machine, so it’s inherently false. The narratives are decided before the story is written. Obama is good. Trump is bad. Sit on the kids in cages photos from the Obama administration. Report on them as though they were Trump’s fault. Never correct the record. The narrative always trumps truth.

And now, reporters rely on the unstable crazies on Twitter for content. That’s the thrust behind wokism, and cancel culture. The twitter hive is the only thing keeping the media outrage machine afloat. Can you imagine getting ideas from a platform where the anonymous mob rules?

It maintains fat salaries for execs in legacy media – but imagine today being a young reporter now. All you do is write about tweets from losers. Local news is dead. Your story is judged on clicks.

So, like a tick on a dog’s nuts, it has to draw blood to survive. And so these young writers never find satisfying work. The lowly Twitter-trend monkeys toil in raging obscurity until the machine farts them out.

Then they end up waiting on me at restaurants. Which is good — I never tip less than 25 percent.

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the June 29, 2021 edition of “Gutfeld!”

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