グレッグ・ガットフェルド: バイデン・プーチン首脳会談から手ぶらで帰ってきた

そう, 何かが達成されました? ジョーが階段で腰を折らずに旅全体を終えることは、私たちが誇りに思うことができるものです.

しかし、これはファンガール以外の誰も感動させないのと同じリセットルーチンです メディア. It’s fun for them. They get to fly to Geneva, mix Ambien with vodka on the plane, and wake up in a time zone with their pants on their heads. Shout out to Acosta.

イングラム: THE LANDSCAPE IS LOOKING REALLY BLEAK FOR DEMOCRATS

Let’s talk about the dumbest thing a president has ever done since FDR tried to jump in the White House pool. Yesterday Joe Biden told us what he said to Putin about cyber-attacks. すごい.

バイデン: I talked about the proposition that certain critical infrastructures should be offlimits to attack period by cyber or any other means. I gave them a list…16 specific entities, 16 defined as critical infrastructure under U.S. ポリシー, from the energy sector to our water systems.

I am dumbstruck. So dumbstruck in fact that I believe I could now host “景色” and play all five parts. He acts like this is an achievement! He tells Putin what’s off-limits for an attack. Does that suggest that everything not on that list, is on-limits?

Putin has the perfect defense if he wants to hack SpaceX! “申し訳ありません, it wasn’t on the list.

今 – I went through this list, なぜなら, like Miley Cyrus’s ass, it’s available for everyone to see. It’s on the CISA website, so we can all reference it.

And there’s a lot Joe didn’t put in there, お気に入り, say Fox News. Or my duplex in Damascus.

Don’t we all see how weird this is: to give your adversaryboundaries,” like he’s your dominatrix. Spank mebut no tickling!

It’s like a mobster who’s about to be whacked but asks his killers just not in the face. Which guarantees himself a closed casket.

Asking bullies nicely doesn’t even work against Chrissy Teigen.

THE BIDEN-PUTIN SUMMIT, WINNERS AND LOSERS

If Joe were any more naïve he’d be sending a plane full of cash to Iran.

I wonder how the angry white male sees it?

Tom Shillue, Angry White Male: I guess that makes sense. You make a list, ask for what you want. My wife does that with me. 見る, ミルク, 卵, light bulbs. Done. うん, you wanna, gotta, do something, you make a list, he’ll stick to it. But then again, I’m not an evil dictator.

That list is like leaving a note on your front door as you leave for vacation.

Robbers, if you think of breaking in, please do not target the safe behind the painting in the living room. Or the wife’s diamonds in the bedroom dresser, and most importantdo not check the red container in the basementthat’s where we keep Walt Disney’s head.

Biden’s list is as effective as adrug use is prohibited signat Charlie Sheen’s house. How can you be so clueless, to give a world leader a list of our vulnerabilities?

VLADIMIR PUTIN IS EXPLOITING OUR DOMESTIC ISSUES: ブライアンキルミード

Putin’s the president of Russia, he’s not your shrink.

今私はそれを得る – the list is generic and obvious. So is Applebee’s menu but I’m still gonna try a few things.

There’s mention of things like dams. Who knew you could hack a dam! Now we all do! ありがとう, ジョー!

And who thought to make this list in the first place? Could you imagine the brainstorming meeting? “ねえ, the boss asked us to come up with demands for Putin.

I got an ideathey’ve been launching cyber-attacks! Why don’t we give them a list of stuff not to cyber-attack? That should solve the problem.

“ええ, great idea pat! And here we thought hires for the sake of diversity were worthless!”

And what did they expect in Putin’s response? “うわあ – thank you so much! This a much better gift than that stupid reset button! I’m gonna have to rethink our plan to attack these places.

Did Biden’s staff think this would start a negotiation?

President Putin, here are the 16 places we’d like you not to target.

“ありがとうございました, バイデン大統領 – we’ll back off on the post officethey seem capable of incompetence on their own. But we’d still like to target the energy sector, chemical and critical manufacturing.

上手, ok, 氏. プーチン, that’s progress!

NIKKI HALEY: BIDEN ESSENTIALLY ‘GAVE PUTIN A BIG KISS’ DURING GENEVA SUMMIT

We’ve gone from “氏. Gorbachev tear down this wall” に “please Mr. Putin don’t attack this firewall.

見て – I’m no presidential historian. I collect toes from drifters – I don’t know if I should have confessed that.

だが – we know Biden’s weak, and Putin’s not.

We also know that Putin’s blessed with always being in charge, while we change leaders every 4 または 8 年.

He’s Bill Belichick, and we are the new york jets changing head coaches constantly. (見る, I know baseball, Kat.)

So it’s always us, who has to deal with him. And he gets to sit back and grin at the new guy.

そして, he’s correctly thinking: why buy the cow if you can get the pipeline for free?

それでも – why make it so easy for Vlad? Biden comes off as human resources, telling Putin, the boss, to stop flirting openly with China.

All the while our media swoons over Biden, it makes me wonderhow is CNN covering the summit outcome?

そう, Putin got a pipeline, some fancy sunglasses. And a to-do list for his cyber army.

And we came home empty-handed.

Poor Joe didn’t even get to sniff anyone’s hair.

Maybe next time.

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the June 18, 2021 のエディション “グットフェルド!”

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