グレッグ・ガットフェルド, FOXニュースチャンネルホスト: ああ, そのスタジオを見てください. We’re number one. 再び, 再び. ああ, ハッピー・フライデー, 全員. It’s almost the weekend. I could tell because Kat’s liver hung up its Do Not Disturb sign. I swear I would stop. But I lie.
キャサリン・ティンプ, FOXニュース寄稿者: アリナハバ.
グッドフィールド: カリフォルニアの女性がメキシコで逮捕された. So is it time to declare this national experiment over? The one where we handed America over to a guy who gets lost on the way from the toilet to the sink? There’s not a single optimistic photo of Joe Biden that we can find. It’s all like he’s got a migraine. So do we. Let’s assess the mess. Right now we see plunging enrollment in public schools. Even the ones where hot teachers bang the male students.
People are leaving the hell is prisons faster than felons leaving actual prisons in California. Gas is climbing to 10 bucks a gallon. They’re talking about rationing. If Biden were any farther back into the 1970s he’d be peeing down the leg of his bell bottoms. The only formula for babies that the Dems can find is abortion. はい. は? Pretty. はい, ありがとうございました. Which is a shame because now even men can get pregnant.
統一された女性: What do you say a woman is?
AIMEE ARRAMBIDE, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, AVOW: I believe that everyone can identify for themselves.
統一された男性: Do you believe that men can become pregnant and have abortions?
グッドフィールド: She’s nuts. He’s got crazy, crazy eyes. 上手, that’s going to ruin the NFL. ごめんなさい. Tom Brady’s day to day with morning sickness. そう, as our education system implodes, teachers are sent to sex fetish conferences. I can just see a math teacher teaching kids how to count to 20 while he sucks on his life partners toes to do so. It’s real. This as kids experienced the highest rates of mental illness on record.
Only to be taught by their teachers. Funny how being masked and locked down will do that to a young person. Just ask the Jehovah Witness tied up in my basement. その間, panic Dems demand investigations into domestic terror as their disinformation board implodes faster than a Chris Wallace talk show. As this goes on Netflix scraps all its woke programming. The world’s richest man wants a die-hard Democrat now says he’s voting Republican.
Hell at this point, George Soros must be having second thoughts. 興味深いことに, the public seems immune to the Democrats getting up anti Republican rage, and poor Antifa. Fuel prices are so high instead of Molotov cocktails, rioters have to throw Shirley Temples. So what’s going on here? Are we realizing that (ブリープ) isn’t right anymore? Are we waking up? And is this the true definition of being woke?
Make sense. We let the lunatics take over the asylum. And now the streets look like mental hospitals minus the indoor plumbing, smash and grabs continue unabated. Drugstores shut down as the street drug trade ramps up. That includes fentanyl and the Pepcid they stole from Walgreens. I’m surprised they’re not honoring coupons. Gang crime turns sections of major cities into no go territories and the street poopers they go anywhere they want to go.
Just ask Shillue.
トム・シリュー, FOXニュース寄稿者: ああ.
グッドフィールド: And our government, 上手, they believe the answer is investigating you with the FBI meaning full blown idiots. Are you a school board terrorist or a pronoun abuser? Did you dare ask why that blue-haired teacher had the Communist Manifesto in one hand and a sex toy in the other? And what do either of those have to do with third grade math? And they claim we all follow the replacement theory, but only the left seems to know what that is.
And why? 上手, they wanted the votes, but they also want cheap labor, just like they did back in the 1850s.
これが、CDCガイダンスが彼女の物語に完全に適合しなくなったときにMSNBCレイチェルマドーがどのように反応したかです。, MSNBC ホスト: A lot of other states are heading toward increasing diversification toward demographic changes that mean a less red state future for them.
統一された男性: I really think because of demographic changes in this country I think that the Democratic Party is going to win Texas moving forward and the Democratic Party is going to win Texas moving forward and the Democratic Party is going to be in power for the next 30, 40 年.
統一された男性: Texas have had on this sort of long-term project of trying to take some red states across the Sunbelt and flip them blue as demographic changes are taking place there.
統一された男性: The demographic change that’s happening in America right now gives the upper hand to Democrats.
グッドフィールド: そう, assuming one group thinks a certain way. What a bunch of racists.
とにかく, I list all this stuff because something’s happening. I call it the Great Awakening. The public’s waking up because unlike the media, you exist in the real world. You make a living in the real world and face challenges every day in the real world.
そう, when the public looks at a problem, it’s with a mental dashboard and we see the red engine light flashing. It tells us that more criminals and fewer cops equal a crime wave. That math so simple, only a socialist could (ブリープ) アップ.
We see the wokeism, the indoctrination, the moves against free — the moves against free speech. We could see it because we have the tools to see it. The Dems can’t see it because they have only one filter and of course that’s race.
So when crime goes up, they blame racism. Kids get lousy educations. They blame racism. When a billionaire buys Twitter, hell, he must be racist. When their bread goes stale, 人種差別. When they get a flat, 人種差別.
How did this happen?
上手, when you decide that patriotism is oppression, you got to replace it with something. And that’s identity politics. That’s their replacement theory. But it’s like trying to replace sugar with sweet and low. The people who love sugar could tell how horrible it is right away.
But if your country can’t be forgiven based on the original sin of slavery, then you can’t be patriotic. You can’t love this country. All you can do is destroy it. And it’s much easier to burn buildings than it is to make them. We see this clearly now. アメリカでは, we understand our faults, our blessings, our need for cooperation, unity and love. We understand that identity politics offers none of that. If you don’t believe that, look at our competitors ratings. That’s called empirical evidence.
ありがたいことに, we’re in this together and we’re going to pull this country out of this malaise like a fireman or cop pulls a drowning dog out of a frozen lake and we’ll do it whether the idiot in charge likes it or not. With his popularity so low and gas prices so high. I wonder what he thinks.
SHILLUE: 大丈夫. 大丈夫. 見て, 見て. So gas prices are up. My popularity is down. I don’t care. I don’t even care anymore. Who cares who likes me? It doesn’t matter. My wife likes me. She’s a doctor. And besides, I got a friend, レディー・ガガ. She told me when she was in high school, nobody liked her. そして, ええと, they made fun of her, and now she’s Lady Gaga. So I’ll be like her, I’ll have my moment. I’m on the edge of glory.
グッドフィールド: 今夜のゲストをお迎えしましょう. Like a Lego figurine, you’ll immediately forget his face in just a few minutes. Fox News Contributor Tom Shillue. She’s so bright you’ll see spots when she leaves. Fox News Contributor and townhall.com editor, ケイティ・パブリッチ. He’s the biggest name from Macungie, Pennsylvania because he’s the only name from Macungie, ペンシルベニア. T.V. writer and producer, Adam Yenser.
And like carry-on luggage she’s got a tough exterior but fits in most overhead storage bins. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf.
トム, how you doing?
SHILLUE: Doing great, グレッグ. I love the new studio.
グッドフィールド: はい, it’s fantastic.
SHILLUE: ええと, one thing hasn’t changed, グレッグ. We get water you get water and a lifesaver.
グッドフィールド: はい, 私がやります. 囲碁. 私は推測する — I guess this is what success tastes. One day you will taste it as well. But only if you stick by me.
グッドフィールド: If you ever stray. You’re dead to me and I will ruin your career. Just like I did to that Conan guy. Or the guy that was his partner. Remember that tall weirdo?
SHILLUE: He’s a god guy.
グッドフィールド: ああ, is he?
グッドフィールド: NS, your friends I guess.
グッドフィールド: あのね, Shut up. そう, すべての — Tom everything the media thought would happen under Trump is actually happening under Biden.
グッドフィールド: And it’s all happening oddly at once. It feels like a great unraveling.
SHILLUE: And that’s the funny thing is that it’s all going wrong. And this is when they decided to have the kink conference.
SHILLUE: And invite teachers it’s so weird. I don’t even know any of that stuff that they’re doing but that the whole thing is the thing that’s so bad about it is they’re — they’ve made it normal like now that they have teachers and they’re teaching this stuff in school it’s taken the whole mystery of years ago, like if you were a CEO, or a high-end bond trader, ええと, you’d hire a woman to put on heels and stuff on your back or whatever they do. 正しい?
グッドフィールド: Whatever they do.
グッドフィールド: I wouldn’t know.
SHILLUE: でも今 —
グッドフィールド: Go ahead.
SHILLUE: Now what are they going to do? It’s like if they — once they make it normal, then the CEO is going to have to do something even crazier.
グッドフィールド: 番号, I disagree. The kinkier it gets the more mundane your extremes will become. Like you will actually pay women to cook your pot roast.
ティンプ: That conference was for the people who were presenting at the conference.
ティンプ: Because I read about it and it was like they talked about their fetishes. And some of them involve this and that, みたいです, that’s only for the people who want to talk about that stuff. That’s not educational for anybody.
グッドフィールド: はい. だから何 — はい, what we’re talking about, there was this Philadelphia sex conference for teachers who teach kids and like, all the stuff was all this kinky crap. And it was like, I was thinking about, that’s like, this is what happens when you get — got rid of the sex phone lines, 正しい? Because that’s where you would go and talk about this crap.
ティンプ: I don’t use the phone.
グッドフィールド: 番号, you don’t.
ケイティ・パブリッチ, FOXニュース寄稿者: ティンプ: — a phone line?
ティンプ: はい. Who is the — what’s a phone line?
SHILLUE: — it always had lot of charges from the 900 数.
グッドフィールド: はい, はい.
SHILLUE: And you needed something —
グッドフィールド: もちろん, it was a psychic hotline. Let’s broaden this discussion beyond perversion, ケイティ. I don’t know how we got there. But with Tom here, you never know.
グッドフィールド: Do you feel as I do — do you feel as I do that, like the country is kind of waking up? Or there’s something going on? ええと, みたいです — I think Netflix is because Netflix is a liberal company. The fact that they’re can — canning all this woke crap is amazing.
PAVLICH: はい. そしてまた — はい, very good thing.
グッドフィールド: You didn’t even have to say anything.
PAVLICH: — so good at expanding to a class to your conversation.
PAVLICH: Everybody just loves it. When you look at the polling numbers for Joe Biden, especially in the direction of the country, いつ 21 percent of people say the direction the country is great, 私は好きです, who are these people?
PAVLICH: Like who — where are they living? What are they doing? They need to maybe be in charge because everything else is not working out for people. だが, ええと, I think people are realizing that when you take a position as a company, you’re alienating a number of people for business purposes. They don’t take the Michael Jordan stance of Republicans by Nike or shoes, あまりにも, 正しい?
PAVLICH: And I think people are just sick of being lectured about morals from people who don’t hold themselves to the same standards, whether it’s COVID or climate change. 例えば, ええと, John Kerry is telling us we all need to drive electric cars and not travel. 上手, he has a private jet and gets to go wherever he wants for the sake of climate change. そう, I think everybody’s just tired of being lectured to by people who think they are moral betters, and they’re sick of it.
グッドフィールド: I think too, it’s a lot — また, I think a lot of this wokeism stuff is a luxury in good times.
グッドフィールド: And now they brought us into bad times. そしてそれは (ブリープ) got to go. Weird thing, アダム, that I’ve noticed.
ADAM YENSER, WRITER/EDIAN: はい.
グッドフィールド: The mainstream media now covering Hunter Biden. It seems to me that now they’re even deciding that they chose the wrong horse, and they got to get him out.
グッドフィールド: ええと, 知りません.
YENSER: And turn on Hunter Biden’s way to do that. I think Hunter might be the one percent that still supports Joe Biden. それだと思います — when they do those polls —
YENSER: If Hunter Biden and the anchors at CNN and that’s the entire percentage that are still supporting Joe Biden.
グッドフィールド: They all live in the same place.
グッドフィールド: (聞き取れない) depending on what you’re into, 正しい, トム?
SHILLUE: ああ, I was going to say they’ve turned now the Hunter Biden story, I guess is OK to report on now.
グッドフィールド: はい, 丁度.
SHILLUE: It’s not for —
グッドフィールド: 番号. というのは, おもう — I think what’s happening is they’re panicking because the Democrats see there’s no way out. そして — というのは, they had a number of opportunities to — I think they’re going to count on the Roe v. Wade thing, helping them out but it isn’t moving the dial at all. They’re hoping, ええと, any kind of thing. The racism card anything.
YENSER: It was clear that they — that Roe v. Wade leak was to gin people up for the election because they have nothing else going for them right now.
YENSER: They have nothing else to get their base going. Even his own party’s turning against him now.
グッドフィールド: はい. It’s kind of exciting, キャット, そうですね? Aren’t you thrilled?
ティンプ: It takes a lot — it takes a lot to thrill me.
グッドフィールド: Tom knows this lady.
ティンプ: ああ, はい. はい, はい.
グッドフィールド: I think the problem with Biden, it’s a double-barreled shotgun of problems because he’s an empty vessel. And then it — and then what filled the void was wokeism. So if he was just incompetent, there might have been some moderates to take his place, 代わりに, he’s an empty vessel and it was replaced by something even worse which are these like infantile minds who wants to destroy, ええと, anything that successful.
ティンプ: はい. It’s just so strange what they choose to focus on, 正しい? お気に入り, OK, less than one percent of the population is trans and even smaller percentage of that is trans men and even smaller percentage of that is trans men. People born as women who transition a man who will get pregnant.
ティンプ: And then even smaller of a percentage than that is those people who would give a (ブリープ) how you talk about pregnancy.
ティンプ: It’s such a small — which means that it has to be about something else, which I think it’s self serving because I think it’s an easier way for them to say Look how caring and compassionate we are and how much, ええと, better educated and smarter I am than you are. Because it can’t — it mathematically doesn’t make sense that it’s about what they say it is.
グッドフィールド: はい. You cannot actually — I think that they deliberately do not do a head count on this because they wouldn’t break triple figures. It’s probably like 10 または 12. Really a “pregnant man.” Thank God there OK.
ティンプ: はい. Which I get, ええと, 大丈夫, if someone’s told me yes, I identify as a man I pregnant. I’d say the same thing. I would say anytime someone tells me they’re pregnant, which is just OK.
グッドフィールド: はい. はい. はい. Just don’t invite me to the baby show.
ティンプ: 番号, お願いします.
グッドフィールド: And we’re good.
YENSER: What I found you can’t do is just walk up to a man and congratulate him on being pregnant.
YENSER: Most of the time.
PAVLICH: I do have to say I’m very disappointed. I’m very disappointed in all of the chest feeding pregnant men for not making up for the baby formula shortage.
グッドフィールド: はい. 丁度.
PAVLICH: お気に入り, ええと, chest feeling all of the babies.
グッドフィールド: 正しい. 番号, it’s awful. 大丈夫, up next would you stab your colleague in the back over the facemask that they laugh?
グッドフィールド: ねえ, we’re back. 番号, 番号, 番号, 番号, 番号. やめる. It eats into my time. NPR host prattle while their employees tattle. はい, public radio loves snitches, like their tote bags love stitches. NPR is encouraging employees to rat each other out if they don’t comply with a company’s mass policy in the office. This is according to an NPR memo obtained by the New York Post owned by our parent company Crisco.
The memo reads “If you notice someone who has forgotten their mask, you might tell them, ねえ, you forgot your mask.” Now in a sane world, you might respond. ねえ, you forgot to shut the hell up. But this is crazy times. The memo added that employees could let a superior know so they can remind that person or get H.R. 壊れていないことを願っています. And repeat offenders could be fired. Just following orders, 人々.
Now all this is doubly nuts considering D.C. where NPR is headquartered dropped indoor mask mandates for stores and restaurants back in March. But if NPR did what people liked, they wouldn’t have to beg for donations. And the memo — はい. Screw them. The memo also claims that employees caught unmasked should say thank you for the reminder that they’re violating the rule. And then you bend over.
There’s even a system where employees can anonymously snitch on each other. You got to hand it to NPR though. They’re not asking employees to do something they wouldn’t expect their listeners to do.
統一された男性: そう, for all of us at NPR, this concludes our broadcast day. Remember to mask up and mask often.
GENE NELSON, FOXニュース寄稿者: 日曜日、3人の男性が彼に近づき、AR-15スタイルのライフルから3発の銃弾を発射しました。, stand back and put on your mask.
統一された女性: We’re 100 feet away from each other and we’re outside now. いい加減にして, let’s go, we have dinner reservations (聞き取れない) this fish. いい加減にして. Why there’s some pop in your step? Pretend like it’s Sunday night football. To all the boys, they’re trying to get there faster.
NELSON: I’m so sick of this.
統一された女性: I don’t think you wear a mask for that.
NELSON: ええと, NPR never talks back to me.
グッドフィールド: I don’t know where to go with this. I feel like a hypocrite. 正しい? Because like we’re ragged on NPR. But this place is crazy too. というのは — というのは, you don’t even have to have COVID and they’ll send you home. ええと, but anyway, I digress.
ティンプ: 上手, はい. というのは, you might have COVID at any time.
ティンプ: So you should just stay home all the time. Just stay home in case you have COVID. But it’s — なぜなら — people snitching on other people.
グッドフィールド: 知っている. 知っている. What is this?
ティンプ: 知りません. I think it’s like COVID is like the new herpes where the stigma is worse than what it actually is.
グッドフィールド: はい. I wouldn’t know that.
ティンプ: Having to tell people.
グッドフィールド: はい, 丁度. ええと, this is like — it’d be really cool to be an undercover like in 21 ジャンプストリート. 正しい? But your only role is to catch people without their masks. Try — you try to entrap them by getting them to take off their mask. 正しい?
YENSER: But then you’d have to be at NPR all day which doesn’t sound fun at all.
グッドフィールド: はい. What does it stand for? Not particularly —
グッドフィールド: Reasonable. ねえ, not bad.
SHILLUE: I love that they had the memo. It suggested passive aggressive behavior.
SHILLUE: They suggested you could go up to them say thank you forgot your mask. That’s the way they would deal it. I used to listen to NPR and I feel bad for them because I liked them because they talked so quiet.
グッドフィールド: I like that too.
SHILLUE: I used to turn on my radio my car and I would listen to the quiet talking people but now it’s such a parody of itself. I still flip it on occasion on the car and they’re like, are hurricanes racist?
ティンプ: And the answer is always yes.
SHILLUE: It’s always yes. But they say, we’ll be right back after this with a professor. Listen to 10 seconds of jazz.
グッドフィールド: それは本当です, でも. というのは, it turns out Katie that the people with the softest voices have the hardest hearts.
PAVLICH: はい, it’s true. It’s amazing that these people get your tax money.
PAVLICH: Get your stuff like —
グッドフィールド: They don’t get that much though, COVIDのテストではなく?
PAVLICH: They get enough.
グッドフィールド: はい. They get enough.
PAVLICH: I’ll take the money. I’ll take the tax money back.
グッドフィールド: はい, はい.
PAVLICH: The NPR tax cut. ああ, there are a lot of things that you can — that we should have a list for to snitch on in the office. Like if you bring fish to the office. If you burn popcorn in the office. There’s a whole list of things that there should — you should be allowed to snitch about and talk to H.R. 約. This is not one of them.
グッドフィールド: はい, there are things that are done in our bathrooms that like —
PAVLICH: 丁度. 正しい.
グッドフィールド: — it defies any kind of human explanation. It’s like a bird came in and landed. And took a huge dump everywhere.
ティンプ: I am seeing things that have confused me.
グッドフィールド: 番号. You just wonder how could a human being —
ティンプ: I firmly believe people in there are hula hooping. そして私 —
グッドフィールド: Clapping about hula hooping —
ティンプ: I’m glad everybody seems to know what I mean.
グッドフィールド: Hula hooping more like hula pooping.
グッドフィールド: はい. 知っている. 知っている. I basically just screwed that thing up. アダム, last word to you. I think we have time for last word. あなたは何を — do you — do you think that this will ever go away?
YENSER: 番号. And I think at some places it won’t. Like NPR. I feel like right now. It’s clearly no longer about science or keeping people healthy. It’s about feeling better than other people. It’s about making yourself feel superior. Which is also I think why people listened to NPR in the first place.
YENSER: It just feels superior to other people.
グッドフィールド: はい, it does makes — みたいです — it’s like the official station — I hate — just call them Karen’s because I always feel bad for women named Karen. Are there any women here named Karen? Screw the Karens. Joking. NPR is the official station for Karen’s, 正しい?
グッドフィールド: Which we used to usually call the note — the nosy neighbors, the next door neighbor and bewitched. Remember her? Gladys. はい, ありがとうございました. Get that man out of here.
PAVLICH: I have a term —
グッドフィールド: はい. But that’s what it is. It’s like that’s what the station is. That’s their brand. OK. I’m going to shut up now. 次に, does identifying as a lady make a criminal smart or shady? はい.
グッドフィールド: If you’re a blood thirsty offender, should you then change your gender? それは本当です, they gamed the system by changing it to her from him. に 2020, 26-歳, Alex Ray Scott, allegedly murdered an antiques dealer he met on a dating app, as they all do. Prosecutor said, he stabbed the man in the face and slit his throat. ひどい. それでも, this explains why my wife keeps asking me to go antiquing.
でも今, he is a she and an ugly one. Alex who has pleaded not guilty was back in court this week sporting a new look and revealing a transition to female. That’s more convenient than those students that become rollerskates. I love those. The six-foot tall, 190-pound inmate is being housed in Rikers Island Center for female detainees. 上手, we know who’s getting picked first for basketball in the exercise yard.
もちろん, this is happening after two women inmates got impregnated by a transgendered inmate at a New Jersey women’s prison. その後、, there’s Hannah Tubbs the child molester who also transitioned after the crime. She gained sympathy and an early release for being trans after molesting a child and a bathroom. Tubbs gloated over the slap on the wrist he got.
The release was defended by the Office of LADA, ジョージ・ガスコン, who now faces a recall and he should be recalled now that Tubbs has been charged with murder for a crime committed after the molestation charge. 知っている, 知っている, 知っている, what’s the world coming to when you can’t even trust the pedophiles?
ええと, キャット, I’m going to go to you first because this is — we went back to that woman that says all you got to do is identify as a woman to be a woman. この場合, all you got to do is grow your hair out. You don’t even have to remove your junk. This guy has grown his hair out, and he’s a woman. そう, 基本的, the left is saying it doesn’t take anything to be a woman other than that. Doesn’t that upset you?
キャサリン・ティンプ, FOXニュース寄稿者: 再び, it takes a lot to get me really worked up. 私はただ, I’m almost confused why more dudes aren’t doing that.
ティンプ: お気に入り, why is there a men’s prison at all?
ティンプ: なぜなら, 何 — お気に入り, who are those guys, and how dumb are they —
ティンプ: — to still be there when they. お気に入り, if you look at Hannah Tubbs, that that’s a dude, that does not even feel like a woman obviously, because we’re bragging about that.
ティンプ: お気に入り, ああ, they felt bad for me because I said I was a chick. お気に入り, that’s all you need to do? Why is there a men’s prison full of guys, if they know all they need to say is I feel like a chick now, and then you go to the chick prison.
グッドフィールド: I bet there is a line outside like this special red phone that everybody I know — やった — like there’s a huge line of male inmates go: はい, 私は — はい, I’m now a woman. I’m now a woman. Because that’s exactly right. というのは, incent that what we’re seeing, 再び, that the Democrats and liberals don’t learn is the science of incentives, incentives. This incentivized this transition because you could get better, better stuff. ええと, safer surroundings.
ケイティ・パブリッチ, FOXニュース寄稿者: 上手, はい, and there’ve been actually hundreds of transfers in California of men to women’s prisons. And the reason they are separate is because it’s dangerous for women to be in prisoned with men. And there’s this complete violation of women’s privacy, women’s rights, rights to have their own personal spaces, including in prison.
And they’ve thrown feminism like completely out the window by saying, all you have to do to be a woman is to grow your hair a certain way and say that you’re a woman, ええと, erase all of that while putting women who are in prison in danger by putting men in the same spaces as them.
PAVLICH: そう, I think it’s outrageous. They should have their own space, but you can’t be a man in a woman’s space. They don’t just do this with prison. They do this with shelters.
PAVLICH: They do it with battered women’s shelters. そう, the way that they are forcing women into these vulnerable positions, real women, it’s absolutely disgusting.
グッドフィールド: How dare you say real women? That offends me. Because I’m still on the fence. アダム, 君は, with your beard?
ADAM YENSER, エディアン: はい. I could be a woman, you’ll never know.
グッドフィールド: 番号, 番号, 私 — あのね, I just the idea of describing a beard to a male to me comes across as sexist.
グッドフィールド: And I apologize for that. Would you identify as a woman if you killed someone when you were a man because I sure as hell would.
YENSER: I like all the theoretical that are in place first, but I guess so.
ティンプ: It’s a yes or no question.
YENSER: はい. And it feels like that’s clearly what these people are doing because this guy never identified as a woman before that when he was out there murdering and stealing and stabbing. Like the most feminine thing he did was shop for antiques, 前 —
YENSER: And then when he got arrested, he’s like, ああ, I’m going to jail, I just remembered I’m a lady.
グッドフィールド: それは間違っています, トム. What say you?
トム・シリュー, エディアン: I agree with everyone, it’s wrong. はい, というのは, 私たちは — 正直に言うと, I don’t think I’d want to go to the women’s prison either.
グッドフィールド: 何故なの, are you sexist?
SHILLUE: 見て, they’re pretty tough there as well. I saw —
グッドフィールド: You wouldn’t last.
SHILLUE: — “Orange is the New Black.” はい —
ティンプ: I saw that in “Orange is the New Black.”
SHILLUE: ええと, those ladies are tough, so I don’t, I would have to do something else. I would have to identify as something other than a wolf because I can’t take the woman’s prison either, so I need a whole other situation.
グッドフィールド: That’s interesting.
SHILLUE: I can do like, remember you know, Andy Griffith, I can stay in that jail. ええと, play the banjo.
PAVLICH: But you’re soft in and out.
グッドフィールド: That was the good old days when they, when the inmate, there was only one.
グッドフィールド: They were either snoring off because they were drunk.
グッドフィールド: Or they were just a friendly guy with some advice. Don’t do what I did, キッド. What did you do? Chopped up, chopped up my mother. 番号, that wasn’t Andy Griffith something else I missed that show. Those were some good times, ハァッ, トム?
SHILLUE: Good days.
グッドフィールド: はい. Maybe you and I later, we’ll go, go watch them.
SHILLUE: Go watch some Andy Griffith, はい.
グッドフィールド: There we go. That’s a wild time for, トム. 来る, at what age have you had enough of silly kids’ stuff?
グッドフィールド: Confused at the time and I didn’t know what I was doing. But we’re back. As life becomes longer, does growing up feel wrong-er? 多分. A recent poll, my favorite kind, conducted on behalf of a Mattress Company. Don’t ask. Found that 53 percent of Americans said they felt like an adult at age 18. But the rest, that’s 47 パーセント, キャット, didn’t feel like an adult until they hit 29 — lots of numbers. 意味, その間, I’m still waiting to hit puberty. それまで, I’m the guy with the gray hair buying clothes in the boys department.
Why am I reading jokes that insult me? そう, aside from being tried as an adult, what were the top five milestones that made respondents feel grown up? 上手, 30 percent said living on their own for the first-time 28 percent said buying a house 27 percent said getting married and another 27 percent said having their own bank account. そして 26 percent said having kids and all those numbers add up to more than 100 パーセント. そう, I guess being able to do math doesn’t count as being an adult. ケイティ, do you feel like an adult?
PAVLICH: I’m curious about the people who think having a kid is less adulting than buying a house. I don’t have children, so I’m not sure. I felt like an adult when I got my first dog.
PAVLICH: Like you have responsibility for another human being besides yourself. That’s probably the moment.
グッドフィールド: それは奇妙だ, but I felt that way with my first plant.
PAVLICH: はい, that’s true.
グッドフィールド: And I enjoyed killing it.
PAVLICH: I’ve killed lots of plants too. それで大丈夫です.
グッドフィールド: What does that say about me, ケイティ?
PAVLICH: 知りません, because I killed, I killed a cactus once, and that’s hard to do. はい. そう, はい —
グッドフィールド: 上手, he kept needling you.
PAVLICH: He did.
ティンプ: You deserve that.
グッドフィールド: Tom laughed, because he sends a wholesome clean humor. Look at that. You’re a clean guy. トム, I bet you have stories about society coddling kids too much, 正しい?
SHILLUE: It’s so true. 見て, I’ve felt like an old dude when I was 17.
SHILLUE: I was singing in a barbershop quartet.
グッドフィールド: And dating, you’re dating a six-year-old woman?
SHILLUE: 上手, the world is reversed though. というのは, we got you know, I can’t blame young people. Because old people are acting like adolescents. We get people in their 50s and 60s Dancing on tick tock and then kindergarteners are going to drag queen story hour, it’s flipped.
グッドフィールド: It has flipped. It has flipped.
TIM: そう, you can’t blame young people. Everyone is having an extended adolescence people are ridiculous. It’s time we wake up and be adults.
グッドフィールド: Take the fist, トム. You know Kat, I feel like I’m still a child at heart. But that’s because all I eat our child’s hearts.
ティンプ: それは — I’m glad you direct that at me.
グッドフィールド: Do you consider yourself an adult you are sometimes in adulthood most of the time, if from my opinion, you’re not.
ティンプ: 私 — そう, it’s interesting because I kind of feel the same way about me.
ティンプ: Because I do feel like an adult but for example, so like when I got married, 正しい, I did all this stuff where like you have the wedding and I filled out the papers. But then when I got the, the thing in the mail, that was like the merit like that, you’re married, 私は好きだった, oh my god, 出来た.
ティンプ: お気に入り, OK.
グッドフィールド: I don’t even know where mine is. アダム.
ティンプ: I don’t either.
グッドフィールド: Does it make sense because we’re living longer, 基本的, 30 is really the new 13, 正しい?
YENSER: 多分? 知りません. まず第一に, I think one of the markers of being an adult should be filling out a survey from a mattress company.
YENSER: There’s no kid that’s sitting there going, I’m going to fill this out and send it back.
グッドフィールド: はい, はい.
YENSER: しかし、私は意味します, I think it’s also that people just living at home forever now. Like no one, I don’t know people my age that still live at home. They never leave their parents’ 家, like parents should be warned about that now. Like they’re always like, when you have a kid, のようでした, watch out for the terrible 2s. They’re never like watch out for the unemployed 37s.
グッドフィールド: はい, and you know if they’re there, you know why they’re there, 正しい? They’re just trying to outlive you. Like why don’t you — お気に入り, they’re betting against you outliving them so they’re not moving out?
グッドフィールド: ええと, that’s what I would do.
SHILLUE: したくない — というのは, I’m thinking if my kids want to stay, I’ll —
PAVLICH: そう, you’re part of the problem, is what you’re saying?
SHILLUE: 上手, 私はしません, I don’t think people like their kids to leave. そう, ええと —
グッドフィールド: I think that’s true.
TIM: It’s often the parents’ fault too. 彼らは, 番号, stay home.
グッドフィールド: 上手, you want them to be successful. その後, when they’re really rich, buy them a new house where everybody can live together, 正しい?
SHILLUE: Be nice.
グッドフィールド: That’ll never happen. Your kids can always come live with me because I’ll be rich.
PAVLICH: グレッグ, you hate kids.
グッドフィールド: I do hate kids.
YENSER: And at what age do you think it’s OK to teach an adult about the sexual fetish conference?
グッドフィールド: Only when they start training there. 彼らは, they’re actually teaching people. 知りません. I don’t have answers to everything. でも実は, 私がやります. Up next is anything more wrong than a traveler airing out her thongs?
アナウンサー: “A STORY IN FIVE WORDS.”
グッドフィールド: そう, here’s the story, a disgusting one, in five words: plane passenger airs out thong. ケイティ?
PAVLICH: 何? はい, グレッグ.
グッドフィールド: I battled my demons over this story, whether we should actually even do this because to me, it just, I don’t know why it makes me just lose hope for the world. どうやら, she spilled booze on herself and soaked her thong.
PAVLICH: She was on something.
グッドフィールド: はい, 上手, she was definitely drunk.
PAVLICH: I will say, I’m not an expert in this.
PAVLICH: Sorry to say. Maybe she thought it was a mask, and she was just trying to comply with their line standard.
グッドフィールド: Who hasn’t made that mistake?
PAVLICH: She was trying to help her fellow passengers stay safe.
ティンプ: I think she’s a brilliant entrepreneur.
グッドフィールド: 本当に? どうして?
ティンプ: She’s an Only Fans girl.
ティンプ: そう, it’s not exactly like she’s in a line of work where, ええと, publicly doing something disgusting with your underwear is going to be bad for business.
グッドフィールド: それは本当です. はい, she’s on, ええと, explain to the people at home what Only Fans is Kat.
ティンプ: They all already know.
グッドフィールド: I didn’t know until you told me.
グッドフィールド: I still (聞き取れない) to Kilmeade’s.
SHILLUE: Could I have one of those Only Fans, and if I just did all my wholesome activities, あなたが知っています —
グッドフィールド: 上手, I think you could because back in the 90s when you were stripping, didn’t you go by Thong Shillue?
SHILLUE: I doubt. It’s not me. That was a cheap imitation. I criticized this woman like everyone else did. But then I realized when John McAfee wore one of those things as a mask and got arrested, I called him a hero.
グッドフィールド: そのとおり. そう, like you’re calling out your own inner hypocrisy right now?
SHILLUE: はい, はい.
グッドフィールド: 大丈夫, pee John McAfee, if he’s still in fact dead.
SHILLUE: はい, 知っている — who knows what happened.
グッドフィールド: 上手, you did. You killed him. アダム, what are your thoughts on this controversial, 嫌な, repulsive topic that I’m wondering if we ever should have done it on the show or will I meet with the manager, or management on Monday to discuss why we did this story?
YENSER: I don’t know if she thought it was a mask but to her credit, if you’re somebody who wants everyone else to wear a mask, I think that’s a good way to do it. お気に入り, I’m so over, I’m so over the mask mandates but she was putting up but the thing that blows air around the plane. お気に入り, when I saw that, I’d be like, 大丈夫, I’ll wear my mask one last time. 多分, I’ll listen to Fauci like what she did one more time.
グッドフィールド: 番号. That is a good — ええと, キャット. OK. You think she’s a brilliant entrepreneur, but what if you were sitting behind her? Would you have said anything?
ティンプ: I would have filmed it and gotten clicks for myself. お気に入り, it’s a win-win for everybody. That TikTok when you did, お気に入り, everybody wins.
グッドフィールド: I don’t think everybody wins. I actually think the world is falling apart, トム. Am I getting old? お気に入り, we’ve lost the ability to act like civil human beings, そして, and flying especially has turned into the greyhound bus, 正しい?
SHILLUE: はい, それは.
ティンプ: That is not true. You’ve not spent time on the greyhound bus.
グッドフィールド: It’s been a long time.
ティンプ: I have and it is not the same.
グッドフィールド: I used to, I took a bus a lot to back and forth. But it wasn’t greyhound, it was the beaver bus. Remember the beaver bus? Eastern P.A., picked it up in (聞き取れない) or West Coast Ville. I’m living in my own little world right now.
SHILLUE: Do you keep that thing on? それ, それ, それ, ああ, the tile with the wind comes out.
グッドフィールド: I love that thing.
SHILLUE: Do you keep it on the whole time or do you turn it off?
グッドフィールド: I keep it on, どうして? What’s wrong with it?
PAVLICH: It’s blowing.
SHILLUE: I don’t trust what comes out of that hole.
グッドフィールド: I’ve been saying that about you for years. Walked into that one. 大丈夫, we’re going to be flying together soon and we’re going to talk about that, after the break you and me.
グッドフィールド: 大丈夫. 離れないで, we’ll be right back with more —
グッドフィールド: Time for some final thoughts. Where are you going to be, アダム?
YENSER: I’ll be at the Great American Comedy Festival in Norfolk, ネブラスカ, June 16th to 18th.
グッドフィールド: 優れた. And I’m going to be in Salt Lake City, Utah tomorrow for my book tour. ええと, who’s going to join me? Tom Shillue.
グッドフィールド: Shut up, トム. Tyrus is going to be there too. We got some fall dates in Connecticut and Texas. All you got to do is go to GGutfeld.com for ticket info. Are we out of time?
OK, I was going to talk to Tom, しかし、あなたは何を知っています, we’ve had enough of them.
グッドフィールド: ごめんなさい. Look at you. 大丈夫. Thanks to Tom Shillue, ケイティ・パブリッチ, Adam Yenser, キャット・ティンプ, 私たちのスタジオの聴衆. “フォックスニュース@ナイト” 次は邪悪なシャノン・ブリーム. 私はグレッグ・ガットフェルドで、あなたを愛しています, アメリカ.
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