'구트펠트!' on COVID and mask hysteria

레이몬드 아로요, 폭스 뉴스 기고자: No one should be going to these genocide Olympics. And that’s before considering their awful efforts to hide the pandemic. Skip the games, watch not one minute of them, but do spend time with those you love. That’s it for us. I’m Raymond Arroyo, thanks to Laura and the Anglers for letting me sit in tonight. Greg Gutfeld next.

GREG GUTFELD, 폭스 뉴스 채널 호스트: My mouth, I have no control. Happy Friday. So there’s anything we learned from COVID, it’s that our leaders and experts lie and they suck. 그게 다야. 잘 자, 각자 모두. 먼저, a leader, so called leader V.P. 카말라 해리스, or as Joe calls her President Harris, as she attempts to string some words together like cheap, half blinking Christmas lights. And she’s the dimmest bulb.

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신원 미상의 남성: Six former administration officials last week broke that open letter urging the administration to change course, to change strategy. Is it time?

카말라 해리스, VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: It is time for us to do what we have been doing in that time as every day. 매일, it is time for us to agree that there are things and tools that are available to us to slow this thing down.

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좋은 분야: That time is every day. 와. It’s like a song lyric. That’s not word salad. That’s a turd salad. With a vinegret of voter regret. She just starts talking hoping the words line up like kids at the school cafeteria, but instead they scatter like a deck of cards in a strong wind. Two metaphors tied together. 재미있다. The Dems were hoping her youthful enthusiasm would rub off and Biden which is hard to do because they’ve only been in the same room twice in the last year.

But instead Biden’s incoherence has rubbed off on her. Apparently it’s as contagious as Omicron. Here’s the comparison.

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조 바이든, 미국 대통령: Count the vote, count the vote, count the vote.

해리스: I urge people toyou can Google it or go on to any search engine and find out where free testing and the free testing site is available.

BIDEN: And to help lead our federal testing program. I’ve taughtI’ve taught ? excuse me, I’ve tapped Dr. 톰 — I hope I pronounced Ingle.

신원 미상의 남성: Ingeslby.

BIDEN: Ingelsby. 옳은?

해리스: I have to look at the current information. I think it’s going to be by next week. But soon, absolutely soon and it is a matter of urgency for us.

신원 미상의 남성: Should we have done that sooner?

해리스: We are doing it.

신원 미상의 남성: But should we have done it sooner?

해리스: We are doing it.

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좋은 분야: 예. 와. It’s like she caught a new variant call it Joemicron. It rots the brains of mediocre politicians. No wonder they inspire as much confidence as a doctor would in the operating room wearing a female body inspector t-shirt, speaking to doctors. 이번 주, we found out that our top scientists thought COVID did in fact leak from a lab but they were too worried that further debate would harm science in China.

예. Because the last thing we want to do is bring a halt to those lab experiments they’re doing on caged poodles and Uyghurs. This according to recently surfaced e-mails in which one expert admits from nearly a year ago that a likely explanation was that COVID had rapidly evolved in a low security lab. 예, a low security lab. 아니, maybe it’s me. But that sounds like the worst kind of lab. At least for messing around with deadly viruses.

Kat follows better safety protocols when she makes meth in her garage. The e-mail to Fauci and Dr. Francis Collins of the NIH suggests a virus was primed for rapid transmission between humans. That’s a pretty big whoops, even bigger than the daily one in Biden’s slacks. So what did the experts do? Did they leap into action to get the truth out? Fat chance, my Friday friends. They threaded that even debating gain of function research would do unnecessary harm to science in general and science in China in particular.

Francis Collins warned it could damage international harmony. 좋아요. They kept it quiet not to protect you but to protect the feelings of the brutal like dictatorship. That’s a sensitive as a chubby kid on TikTok. Speaking of harmony, what was call is the former head of the NIH doing rather than telling us the truth? 이.

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프랜시스 콜린스, AMERICAN PHYSICIAN: Somewhere pass the pandemic when we’re free there’s all life I remember, full of activity.

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좋은 분야: You know I’m looking at the signer over there and I’m thinking, 알 잖아, this is a time when I envy the deaf. I think my ears are going to charge me with murder. 그래서, 예, Nero fiddles while Rome burned and while a pandemic raged, Francis played his guitar like an (BLEEP) counselor ruining your s’mores. So the e-mails revealed that scientists were less interested in science than politics, and felt it was better to hide the origins of a deadly virus.

They’d be open with those of us who were about to die. Now there were people like us who knew the virus likely came from that lab, somewhere scientists and they were roundly mocked, someone called racist. Yet privately, the mocking experts agreed with them. And yet they let the people who said this publicly hung out to dry just to protect their own asses and their own grants.

They said we were nuts and tinfoil hats that told us to wear masks in our cars, empty parks and swimming pools. It raises the point just how sane were the scientist in the first place? They created a deadly virus thinking they could then reverse engineer a vaccine in the name of science. 잘, why not just not create the virus, then you don’t need to reverse engineer the vaccine. They’ve already made vaccines to fight natural viruses.

So we really didn’t need to invent new deadly or creepier ones. 하지만 이봐, where’s the fun in that if you want to play God and keep sucking at the government teat? Which leads to the bigger question accountability. I’m not saying that this manmade virus was leaked on purpose. I’m pretty certain no one really wanted to kill more than 10 백만명. But in this arrogant murky universe, experts knew there’s a risk, you could leak a deadly manmade virus, but they deemed the risk acceptable.

And when it happened, they blamed it on the wet market, which is pretty much a gross version of Trader Joe’s. 잘, just down the road researchers were bumbling around like a bunch of nutty professors. How convenient. The pandemic had nothing to do with the scientists say the scientists. And so Republicans had to force their hand to grant access to the documents after the scientific institutions repeatedly resisted efforts to come clean.

And these e-mails show that scientists were already trying to silence any debate claiming it would distract top researchers from their active duties. 예, the way a nuclear weapon heading towards New York would distract people from going to work. So don’t tell them. Collins worried that the voices of conspiracy will quickly dominate, perhaps because in that case, those voices were right.

And Collins awful singing can’t drown them out anymore. So they covered up the truth and now we’re all covering our faces. They knew the lab leak was realer than they let on and now we’re left with millions of dead. Call it manslaughter. But the crime was in the gamble. They decided to roll the dice. It was an accidental release, but born from a risk that they happily accepted like a drunk driver getting into his car.

Sure someone might get killed but it probably isn’t going to be me. They put the reputations above human lives. To them you weren’t much more than the contents of a Petri dish. So what’s the punishment for that? Hell even in the most liberal craphole of a city they make it post bail.

신원 미상의 남성: 기간.

좋은 분야: 오늘 밤 손님을 환영합시다. His politics say conservative but his beard says daddy. Outspoken editor-in-chief and contributing editor at The Spectator, Chadwick Moore. If she hears one more southern stereotype so slap you with our possum. 폭스 비즈니스 앵커 Dagen McDowell. Democrats say his comedy is worse than January 6. Founder of the leftistparty.com, Michael Loftus.

And she’s proof blondes have more fun if by fun you mean priors. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf. 예. So Michael, what is worse than your wardrobe? The content of our so-called experts or our politicians,


좋은 분야: 감사합니다.

LOFTUS: Can they all be equal, 그렉?

좋은 분야: 예, they can.

LOFTUS: 이 — I find this whole thing deeply disturbing. 진지하게. They’re worried about oh, this might affect science in China.

좋은 분야: 예.

LOFTUS: I’m going to invite them to go to any college campus. Science in China is going to be just fine.

좋은 분야: 예.

LOFTUS: They’re not going tothey’re not going to retake a big hit. But here’s the thing that I really want to get into. It’s like our options wereare what? Accidental leak and bad soup. I’m all for that litter rail that whole hey, let’s do this on purpose.

좋은 분야: 권리.

LOFTUS: Like they keep dialing up these different viruses. This one just seemed too perfect. It’s like this one kills redheads. This one kills blondes. 오, would you like something in a kills fat diabetics? Ooh, that sounds lovely. Can you get that out right before the election?

좋은 분야: 그것으로 — 내말은, 그 — that is the premise though was that, 당신은 무엇을 알고, this isn’t actually, 알 잖아, really valuable exercise. We create the killer so we can figure out how to stop the killer but the problem is they created the killer and the killer got loose. It almost sounds like a movie, 새벽에.

맥도웰 데이, FOX BUSINESS ANCHR: 당신은 무엇을 알고, if people watched more movies about in the 80s, then we wouldthis would never have happened. And let me explain. What happened to our healthy fear of communism?

좋은 분야: 예.

맥도웰: And communist countries wipe the United States off of the face of the Earth. Take away our luscious freedoms, like my parents raised me to be — 잘, fear the Soviet Union. They had nukes. They hated America. I watched Rocky and Bullwinkle. Boris and Natasha taught me really, 알 잖아, most kill moose and squirrel, wear moose and squirrel. 그리고 1984 Best Movie, maybe ever Red Dawn.

물론이야. 보다, Thomas Howell gave me the tingles.

좋은 분야: 예.

맥도웰: So that’s why we’re out the VHS tape. 하지만 다시 (알아들을 수 없는) the Soviet Union was evil. But it wasn’t just the Soviet. I’m not talking McCarthyism, 알 잖아, the Red Scare, 처럼, hunt people down. But we would neverlike don’t these old Coots, Gordon Lightfoot and Tony Fauci, don’t they realize that this communist government, why would you give them money if you knew that they were going to do experiments in a lab that wasn’t safe which we knew about years


좋은 분야: A low level — 내말은, at least make it a high level lap.


맥도웰: They want to destroy the United States. And if they had, 알 잖아, my knowledge from say, Patrick Swayze movies, this would never have happened.

좋은 분야: Low level. 내말은, just put that little weather-stripping in the windows. 마치 70 bucks.

LOFTUS: And this is the only lab in China that doesn’t have security cameras?

좋은 분야: 예.


LOFTUS: Like we don’t know what happened.

좋은 분야: That’s whyso this is thethis is the question, Chadwick that I haven’t heard asked. 확인. So I’m not talking about premeditated murder. I’m talking about negligence. Nobody wantFauci at all, that they didn’t want to kill a bunch of people, they thoughtthey thought in their heads, that they were saving future lives, 권리? So they were doing God’s work, 말하자면, 알 잖아, they were like, they’re saving millions by creating waste new.

But instead 10 백만 — 많은, they did it in a careless lab in a careless way. What kind of accountability is there? Is thereI’m putting this — 내말은, is there like death penalty for the you know, 모르겠어요. 모르겠어요. I’m just putting that out there. I’m notit’s not for me to say because, 알 잖아 —

LOFTUS: Something’s going to happen.

좋은 분야: Something’s going to happen. But I don’t even know


좋은 분야: I don’t even know who you arrest and that’s another question we’ll catch you. But like who do you charge?

CHADWICK MOORE, CONTRIBUTING EDITOR, THE SPECTATOR WORLD: 내말은, 잘, 알 잖아, we know what the penalty for treason is in this country thatsupposed to be. But I won’t say that on television. 모르겠어요 — what’s the next logical thing to happen would be an international treaty against gain of function research on this type. But nobody’s even talking about that. It doesn’t seem like that’s even on the table because science is winning.

좋은 분야: 예, 예, 예.

MOORE: 알 잖아, we have to keep the research going. I was most surprised to learn about this international harmony that we apparently have.

좋은 분야: 알아.


MOORE: And it’s just, 알 잖아, it’s so fragile, we’ve had it for so long. I guess the next time there’s a genocide occurring, what do we do to make sure that doesn’t disrupt international harmony? Do you have a jam sesh?


좋은 분야: 예, that’s true. 예.


LOFTUS: — calls for a drum circle.


캣 팀프, 폭스 뉴스 기고자: That’s the attitude people like abusive relationships, like I know, I’m being horribly mistreated, but I wouldn’t want to disrupt the harmony. And then like the massive gas lighting that all of us were subjected to, 처럼, if anybody for a while dare to say, 이봐, this virus that broke up in thisbroke out in the same neighborhood as this lab full of viruses, maybe came from the lab full of viruses.

They were like, you’re insane. You are so crazy that you’re crazy is dangerous. And I banish you from the online. Like gas lighting. It’s crazy.

좋은 분야: 예. 그것은 — it was so funny because I don’t know if it was here inTHE FIVE.” 나는 말했다, what are the odds? This has got to be almost two years ago? What are the odds that it broke out where the lab was? What are the odds of that?


좋은 분야: And like peoplelike that would get picked up and they would call me crazy. And theyand also, if you just mentioned the name China, a link to the lab, then you’re a racist. But you could say this was what was weird about this whole thing that made me think it was a cover up. If you sent a Chinese lab that was racist, but if you said the Wuhan market which was a Chinese market, that wasn’t racist.

When in factwhen in fact, that’s actually more racist because you’re attributing it to a cultural practice.


좋은 분야: And it really is a farmers market. The reason why it’s wet it’s because they hose down the ground after they chop up the meat and most of it is stuff to eat. There’s a few exotic animals here and there, and they’re not that good. Take it from me. 하지만 어쨌든 —


LOFTUS: I like to get the water after when they hose it down. That’s when it’s good.


LOFTUS: — it’s all mixed together.


LOFTUS: A jambalaya.

좋은 분야: 예. 알 잖아, the thing is sohere’s the other reason why a lot of people didn’t want to blame China and again, I must have said this two years ago. I don’t know when. It can’t be two years ago, 의 말을하자 18 개월. It’s not just about them, because we sponsor it so we can’t saywe can say, oh to evil China, we’re there. So that means if you were to do a lawsuit you couldn’t just sue China.

You’d have to sue the United States. You’d have tobecause it wastheir sponsorships in the U.S. Fauci is like, 알 잖아, will oversaw this, 알 잖아, the research funding. We like that. We like that lab. So it’s going to be onwe went, I think we went to that lab. Anyway, read the book Viral by Matt Ridley. We had him on here. He nailed this thing down. It’s like insane, but when it’s justI don’t know what to do.

It’s crazy. Accountability. Still to come. We’ll check in with Tyrus later in the show. 하지만 먼저, was Gorsuch wrong to argue a case without a diaper on his face?

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좋은 분야: She stashed her kid in the trunk because she thought she’d get the COVID funk. It’s a reprieve in one mom’s fight for treating her son like Samsonite. 예. Here’s an update on some crap we told you about on Monday. This Houston mom and teacher, aren’t they all? Was accused of putting her COVID-positive kid in the truck, so she wouldn’t get exposed to the virus. But a judge said there’s no probable cause to charge her.

And that’s Texas where everyone gets the electric chair. Even those arrested for stealing electric chairs. But her case could still go before a grand jury. 그 동안에, Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch drew the ire of The New York Times the rag shaming him for not wearing a mask during oral arguments. My favorite kind, about Biden’s backs mandates, “Gorsuch had to know that his masklessness could make other justices uncomfortable.

Gorsuch lack of a mask inside the courtroom seemed needlessly risky and disdainful of his colleagues. But how more comfortable do these justices need to be? They’re already wearing robes, and not much else. What I heard is true, but perhaps Gorsuch doesn’t wear a mask to keep all the ladies at bay, 권리? Because as it turns out, masks make you hotter. And not just in terms of lip sweat.

A humongous British study of 43 people found that women were more attracted to pictures of masked men than those who are maskless. They must go for the looters. One researcher thinks it’s because people focus more on the eyes. But we know that’s B.S. It’s really all about hiding what the Brits are known for. 예, those gnarly teeth. 미국, 미국. I don’t even think they watch the show over there. So what do they know? But we wanted to put this theory to the test here in the States.

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신원 미상의 남성: 예, 엄마. The doctor said the rash on my back isn’t contagious. So that’s good. 오, I got to go. My blind date is here. 괜찮아. Bye-bye.

미확인 여성: 안녕하세요. You must be Chris.

신원 미상의 남성: 예. I don’t think this is going to work.

미확인 여성: 뭐? 왜?

신원 미상의 남성: Because the vibe is all wrong? And you’re not wearing a mask.

미확인 여성: 오, 죄송 해요. I have one right here. 확인. I got my mask right here.

신원 미상의 남성: 오. 여보세요, gorgeous. What are you doing later? And then every day after that?

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좋은 분야: I don’t know what is Gene trying to tell me. And why don’t I not like it? Kat, who’s buying this mask study? Let’s be honest, huh? 어서. Who’s behind it?

TIMPF: 모르겠어요. I don’t know but it’s notI think the only way

좋은 분야: Pig mask, Kat.

TIMPF: 예. I won’t — 알 잖아, 나는 생각한다 — I believe in big masks.

좋은 분야: 예.

TIMPF: I know I do because Inow without makeup, I’m probably more attractive with a mask because of the rosacea that I’ve developed because of the mask. 그래서, I’ve actually gotten less attractive. And now I need the mask. But I didn’t need it before I wasI was perfect. And now I’mand now I’m not. I’m sick of it. 과, 알 잖아, I noticed like all the T.V. that we watch. There’s notthey’re not all wearing masks which makes sense because the actors need to be able to convey the emotions of the characters.

So that makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is why is that not something considered important for the rest of us in real life?

좋은 분야: 맞습니다. 맞습니다. 그런데, rosacea sounds better than it is.

TIMPF: 이것의 –예, 그렇지 않다.

좋은 분야: It’s a beautiful name, rosacea.

MOORE: Probably, 예.

좋은 분야: 예. It’s like ait’s like a type of wine. I’ll take the rotation, but it’s not. It’s actually notit’s no fun, Chadwick and can I can’t believe you’re making light of it like this.


좋은 분야: 알 잖아, if you wear a mask


TIMPF: Why he’s laughing at my skin condition.

좋은 분야: How dare you humiliate my co-host?


MOORE: That’s caused by the mask


LOFTUS: — covering half your face makes you more attractive. It’s just government propaganda. If you ask me.

좋은 분야: 예. That’s true though. If you put on a mask you’re going to cover up


TIMPF: I can’t just grow a beard over my rosacea.

좋은 분야: 예. Give yourself a few years, Kat. 알 잖아, 그러나 —


좋은 분야: 알 잖아, what was I going to ask you? What are the upsides of wearing a mask though? And I know Kat understands this. You can hide things in your mouth.

LOFTUS: Hide things in your mouth like


좋은 분야: If you need to go, 알 잖아, you need to pop something in your mouth before you get on a plane or go into a concert.

LOFTUS: (알아들을 수 없는)

TIMPF: On a plane.

좋은 분야: You putyou put whatever you need inside a little bag you put in your cheek and you put your mask up.


좋은 분야: No one’s figure this out except me.

MOORE: 그건 (알아들을 수 없는)

좋은 분야: 예. Use an exploit


MOORE: Single handedly can make TSA more of pain in the ass


좋은 분야: We need to open your mouth.

MOORE: 잘, you can’t stop there.

좋은 분야: I don’t know where I am because you know what? I don’t need to talk to you anymore. You make me sick to my stomach. 괜찮아, 새벽에. You got the masking study, you got Gorsuch, you got the lady with the trunk which one do you want to attack?

맥도웰: 나는 할 것이다 — well the kid in the car was 13 in the trunk and that’s a hell of a lot more cool riding in the trunk than riding in the car with your mom.

좋은 분야: 오, so true.

맥도웰: But I will see Kat’s rosacea and raise her chronic styes and blepharitis.

TIMPF: I don’t have blepharitis.

맥도웰: 권리. 그래서 —

좋은 분야: But that’s in your eyes.

TIMPF: It’s a rosacea of the eye.

좋은 분야: But how do you get the mask up to your eyes, you weirdos?

TIMPF: 아니, 아니, 아니.


TIMPF: — disgusting breath off.

맥도웰: 예, I am here to bring you news.

좋은 분야: 예.

맥도웰: That the instances of eye infections, styes and blepharitis like eye problems have gone through the roof like 50 percent increase double since COVID because of the mask, it causes excess oil production in your eye glands.

좋은 분야: Oh my gooness.

맥도웰: So again, I have a mask on. 오, 하지마 — just ignore this giant stye or myor this goiter around my neck, it’s the size of like Kermit the Frog.

좋은 분야: 맙소사.

맥도웰: Like this is allI have fairly decent teeth. This is all I’ve got going for me. Don’t look at my crow’s feet. I made an opposite of a mask. I made like dark sunglasses.

LOFTUS: Dear Penthouse Forum. I was recently on the Gutfeld Show.

좋은 분야: You know that could explain what happened to Pelosi’s eyebrows, 권리? If itif it all kind of moves upward because her eyebrowshave you seen them lately?


좋은 분야: Lashes.

LOFTUS: She owes money to McDonald’s for those. That was like the bone. Those are the arches. She went cheeseburgers after that.

좋은 분야: 맞습니다. What do youof these three stories, which one

LOFTUS: It’s also sad.

좋은 분야: 예.

LOFTUS: 그들은 마치, ooh, masks make your hot. 아니, they don’t.

좋은 분야: 아니.

LOFTUS: 아니, they don’t. And you know what else makes your hot? 테킬라, booze. Am I right over there, drunky? 어서.

TIMPF: 오, I forgot. I’m aI’m a crippling alcoholic.

좋은 분야: 알 잖아, 사실이야. 하지만 그것은 — also the people are lying because they’re kind ofthey have to virtue signal. 권리? If they’re being told, 알 잖아, the common assumption is that if you don’t wear a mask, there’s something wrong with you.


좋은 분야: So they’re doing this study and it’s like they go, 오, they actually know what the study is just by looking at it. When theyif they see the picture with the mask they go oh, I get it. I’m supposed to pick that.

LOFTUS: 권리. 이것의 — and it’s like somebody’s doing a study traveling, 오, we’re going to make mask cool and tell them.

좋은 분야: 예.

LOFTUS: Or there’s someone at the CDC with a serious mask fetish.

좋은 분야: 예.

LOFTUS: Whose time is common. He just doesn’t want to let it go. He’s like everybody’s wearig a mask? 오, 예.


맥도웰: 알 잖아, the people


LOFTUS: Can you imagine if you have a mask fetish? This is the Golden Age.

좋은 분야: 오, 남자. 오, 사실이야. 사실이야. It’s like when youwhen you have a foot fetish and they have footlocker commercials.


맥도웰: The real mask fetish though is like you can barely breathe out of it and it’s got a zipper.

좋은 분야: 예. Those are good times.

맥도웰: The people who were

LOFTUS: Dear Penthouse Forum.

좋은 분야: We got to go. 괜찮아.

맥도웰: 괜찮아.

좋은 분야: Enough of this crap. 다음으로. Would you name your kid Clayton Payton or Satan?

(머시얼 브레이크)

GREG GUTFELD, 폭스 뉴스 채널 호스트: Would you revel naming your brat after the devil? Forget the omens, Damien, here’s a devil child with an even worse name-Mian. But are people right for Hayton that a mom named her son after Satan? An English woman, aren’t they all, is getting flamed online for naming her newborn son, Lucifer. The 27-year-old mother announced it to the whole country during an appearance on a very popular British show, I believe it was Benny Hill.

It’s a great new show, you should check it out. I think it’s on Netflix. But she’s not alone. There’s a new trend among parents called demon naming. I’m sure this is not true. In spiteI just, 난 못해 — 예, it’s called demon naming. 아니, it did. 아니, it’s not whoever wrote this. 하지만 어쨌든, it’s based on the popular TV show, Lucifer, which I think starts Idris Elba.

DAGEL MCDOWELL, 폭스 비즈니스 네트워크 앵커: 아니, that’s Luthor. 아니.

좋은 분야: That’s great. 엄마, 하나, says she’s not religious and her naming choice wasn’t meant to be satanic. 지금, she says she’s even getting death threats for giving her child that demonic name. But come on people, it’s not like she named him something really truly evil, like Prince Andrew? 새벽에, that’s not your real name, 그것은?

맥도웰: 그것은.

좋은 분야: 오, 그것은?

맥도웰: It’s just my middle name. My first name is Mary.

좋은 분야: Mary Dagen McDowell, get over here.

맥도웰: A name like Lucifer is better than being like, named Nigel Beckwith-Smi

좋은 분야: Or Chadwick.

맥도웰: 예. Or Chadwick Rhys Lloyd Davies.

좋은 분야: Chadwick could you run the whole foods and get me some wine vermin? Take Cody, take Cody, Matty and Noah, and Willeth with you.

MICHAEL LOFTUS, EDIAN: 채드윅, we’re all out of Rose shot.

캣 팀프, 폭스 뉴스 기고자: I wish.

좋은 분야: 알 잖아, but Dagen, isn’t it kind of weird that you can’t pick your own name until you’re — 잘, 명백하게, you can’t do on your baby, but maybe that was just a dumb question to begin with?

맥도웰: I think a bad name and a cute baby is better than a good name and an ugly baby. Nobody will ever call kids out but I think we ought torather than them picking on this mother about the, the name, if the kid’s ugly, like tell her like wash the kid’s hair, why is this so greasy? Why is your kid’s head so much smaller than all the other babies? 오, but the mother didn’t take a photo of herself holding the baby and she put a filter on for it, and the baby looked — 잘, like Satan, he looked plastic like Damien. It was really like that — 예.

좋은 분야: Is that the baby?

맥도웰: But it looked very

좋은 분야: I think we should put black blocks over its eyes. I don’t want to be recognized.

맥도웰: There was one though that it was like, Damien-Omen-26.

좋은 분야: 알 잖아, names are kind of funny, Loftus, 뭐 — 처럼, why do we have to have them? 처럼, would it be great if you were just decided to go nameless and therefore you didn’t whenever you were had a contract or you just don’t put anything down? Why do you have to have a name?

LOFTUS: Why couldn’t we just show them a microchip? Just scan us.

좋은 분야: 예.

LOFTUS: We’re all numbered 6-6-6. Names are important. Names are like a blessing and they’re a way to remember the people who came before you and stuff like I’m named after a member of you know

좋은 분야: The monkeys?

LOFTUS: My family. 예, 마이클 네스미스?

좋은 분야: 예, the late Michael Nesmith.


좋은 분야: 아니, you’re named after a relative?


좋은 분야: 확인.

LOFTUS: 예. 그래서, it’s one thing to keep that memory alive. But this lady knows what she’s doing. And this this young lad, Lucifer, someday we’ll thank her. He’s going to get so much tale. It’s like that Johnny Cash songA Boy Named Sue.

좋은 분야: 예.

LOFTUS: 처럼, it’s going to be rough for him coming up. But when he’s in high school, and there’s like that weird goth girl. She’s going to be like, what’s your name? He’s going to be like, Lucifer. And she’s going to be boom! Devil penny drop.

TIMPF: Talking about high school kids having sex.

좋은 분야: 알 잖아 —


좋은 분야: I guess it’s kind of nice to have like your offspring or somebody down the road name, name themselves after you but I won’t care because I’ll be dead.

TIMPF: 예, I don’t have a name for two weeks.

좋은 분야: 진짜?

TIMPF: 예, my first birth certificate says baby girl Timpf.

좋은 분야: 와. Baby girl

TIMPF: I should have kept it.


TIMPF: This mom like, I hate what she’s trying to say that she is going to keep the name despite all the hate.

좋은 분야: 예.

TIMPF: She picked the name so she could get the attention of hate. She called into this show. They didn’t call her, she was like, 이봐, 그런데, I named my kid Lucifer. She wants this attention. She gets so much more upset at anyone just being like, 확인 —

좋은 분야: 그, 당신은 무엇을 알고, to that point, 채드윅, the kids goodhe’s got a lawsuit. All he’s got to do is find this target, find that he finds good intent, 권리. The mom was looking for attention. And ever since you called me, Lucifer, my life’s beenI’ve been stained.

CHADWICK MOORE, CONTRIBUTING EDITOR, THE SPECTATOR: I think it’s a little bit of a cop out because he can go by Lou, he can go Lou

좋은 분야: Cipher?

MOORE: She should have gone with like Father of Lies Johnson. Mark of the Beast Sullivan, whether last name is. I think that would have been more badass. Lucifer is a littleI don’t think even knew that, that was a satanic word.

좋은 분야: 예, she just got it off the TV show. 손목 시계 “Lucifer.” 됐어요. 괜찮아.

LOFTUS: Lucifer, get your brother Adolph and you get in here.

좋은 분야: 예, Chairman Mao, sit down. 다가오는. He’s a wrestling champ who could bench press your gramps. Terrible.

(머시얼 브레이크)


좋은 분야: 예, so what do you think would be next? Checking in with a man who shirts or size X, 엑스, 엑스, 엑스, 엑스, 엑스, 엑스, 엑스, 엑스, 엑스, 엑스, 엑스, 엑스, 엑스, 엑스, 엑스, 엑스, 엑스, 엑스, 엑스, 엑스 — 예, 이번 주, we talked way too much about the virus and not nearly enough to Tyrus. 야, 타이러스, how’s it going? How you doing?

TYRUS, 폭스 뉴스 기고자: 오, Gutfeld. I would say I miss you, but I’ve been sitting here the whole time, I just like to point out to the group just so you guys know about the whole Lucifer kid thing, Tyrus is actually name of a demon. 그래서, there you go. We’re all just a bunch of evil little people.

좋은 분야: 예. 잘, I do miss you. I could just stare into your eyes. Why don’t we do that for five minutes?

TYRUS: Please don’t.

좋은 분야: Does that make you uncomfortable? Me just staring into your eyes? If you stare into my eyes.

TYRUS: 잘, the good news is, if you stare into my eyes, I can’t see it. All I had to do is stand up — 그래서.

좋은 분야: That was uncalled for. 그래서, 우리는, we have some stories or you know, just to let the audience knows, Tyrus is home, he’s what do you call it? Your home? 너 뭐하니? What is that word?


좋은 분야: Sequestering.

TYRUS: House arrest.

좋은 분야: House arrest. 예. 예, he’s got a — 알 잖아.

TYRUS: 알 잖아, 이봐, you know what I learned, Gutfeld?

좋은 분야: 뭐?

TYRUS: What now that I’m doing some homeschooling? I was doing math.

좋은 분야: 예.

TYRUS: With my daughter. I just want to hold this up for you. We’re in trouble. Three plus two is either four or five or whatever you’re comfortable with. That is an acceptable answer. We’re in trouble. Start learning Mandarin now.

좋은 분야: 예. I hope she doesn’t get an engineering major and then start designing bridges. 예, 좋은. It might stay up. I don’t really — 그래서, I want to talk to you. One of the stories we covered this week was CNN’s ratings nosedive by 90 퍼센트. That’s like, you don’t see stuff like that. What should they do?

TYRUS: 잘, typically when that happens, you get cancelled.

좋은 분야: 예.

TYRUS: 그래서, 알 잖아, maybe they need to get a whole new variety of shows. 괜찮아, 여기, here’s a crazy idea: try to tell them the news.

좋은 분야: 예.

TYRUS: 알 잖아, just you know, there you go.

좋은 분야: 예.

TYRUS: Or stop supporting people that do horrible things.

좋은 분야: 예.

TYRUS: 내말은, they literally are the new life after lockup is the CNN entire cast.

좋은 분야: 또는, or Tyrus, or Tyrus

TYRUS: 아베나티.

좋은 분야: — it’s life before lockup.


좋은 분야: Because they all go to jail.

TYRUS: 예, so there you go. There’s a new reality spin they can do.

좋은 분야: 예, 알 잖아, 만약 그들이, 알 잖아, they have this void left by Chris Cuomo, they probably need a TV personality who’s better with women? Like maybe Matt Lauer?

TYRUS: 예. 잘, 알 잖아, the funny thing is, is that they’re trying to bethey’ve really upped their game. I actually was flipping through the channels and I literally was listening to them attack Fox News, the entire show. 그래서, it’s literally making everyonelet’s say you weren’t interested in Fox News, they say it so much. It’s like this literally do commercials for Fox News, so people be like, 잘, 이봐, I’m going to flip and see what this is about.

좋은 분야: 예.

TYRUS: 그래서, keep it up CNN we appreciate the numbers.

좋은 분야: 예, our numbers keep going up, the more they talk about us. 괜찮아, we’re going to move on to a more serious story. 알아, this is one that you really care about the FBI reporting, that last year, intentional killings of police officers hit a 20-year high. What do you wish was being done to protect our law enforcement, 타이러스?

TYRUS: 잘, 맨 먼저, acknowledging it, this is breaking news. This is a story. If you are ever going to have a panel to talk about a crisis in America, this is it. 그래서, 알 잖아, you defended the police, you and you empowered, 그만큼, the criminal element, 알 잖아, you literally every time a police officer has to make a tough arrest, or someone resists arrest the person and is automatically Rosa Parks.

그리고 당신은 알고 있습니다, the police officers are automatically evil. Even though you know, we’ve had some bad situations, but we never hear about it when it’s on the other side. There’s no information out there for officers, 알 잖아, to be told, 처럼, 이봐, these things are happening, support your local police department. 알 잖아, if you see someone who’s talking about doing something bad to a cop? Report it. 알 잖아, there’s just nothing, no one’s talking about it.

And I find it just shocking because I rely on the police and my, and my community to keep our streets safe. And I damn sure would be giving them information if I saw stuff or if a news report like this was out there. The fact that they’re not talking about it, because you know, this is more important to me than necessarily talking about January 6th for all hours of the night. Those people are incarcerated.

좋은 분야: 예.

TYRUS: 그래서, let’s get the people incarcerated, 이들 — shooting these cops, 남자와 여자, let’s get them behind bars.

좋은 분야: 알 잖아, before we go, you have a fun event in New Orleans coming up. 램스, 경기용 유니폼 공개?

TYRUS: 확인, 잘, 알 잖아, Gutfeld, the whole King of Comedy thing. 알 잖아, I’m trying to smile about it and be supportive, because I guess that makes me a prince, but apparently, I’m going to be the King of New Orleans. 그래서, it’s all good. We all crowned up. Harry Connick, Jr. started this in 1991 as Orpheus, as Mardi Gras. It’s a huge event.

Mardi Gras is big in Louisiana, 뉴 올리언스, and I am going to be the monarch on the float. 그래서, it’s going to be pretty cool. There’s a ball, I get a crown and the cloak. 그래서, on top of my NWA television championship, I have enough flair now with my crown and everything else. 그래서, it’s really exciting. It was funny.

It was when they called me, 그들은 말했다, 이봐, here’s the deal, we’re going to fly you into New Orleans. We’re going to have a band and everything’s going to pick you up and we’ll bring you over. 그리고 나는, I live in Mandeville, 루이지애나. And they were like, 뭐? 그래서, you can drive us? 예, can I drive?

And they’re like, 아니, you got to do a police escort. 그리고 나는, finally I get to chase police. 그래서, this is cool. 그래서, it’s going to be a whole. It’s a whole thing. And I’m truly honored and humbled by. 하지만 다시, it just goes back to the success of our show. And how, 알 잖아, two three misfits being dumb wrestler, a guy who talks too much, and a woman who wears glasses who doesn’t need them.

TIMPF: I need them now.

TYRUS: We’ve, we’ve now becoming, we’re starting to cross into the mainstream.

좋은 분야: 예.

TYRUS: I guess everyone’s taking crazy pills. 그래서, congratulations to our team, because they’re starting to be recognized for what we do. And that’sI’m very proud of that.

좋은 분야: 잘, 알 잖아, to paraphrase, paraphrase the character from “입 부분,” they’re going to need a bigger float.

TYRUS: 당신은 무엇을 알고 —

좋은 분야: 괜찮아, 타이러스, we got to run.

TYRUS: 예, and none of those shows get called the King of Late Night.

좋은 분야: That is true. That is true. 괜찮아, 좋은, 경. I shall talk to you soon. See you next week. You’ll be back. 괜찮아.

좋은 분야: 예.

좋은 분야: 다음으로, our fans feeling fickle about an exhibitionist pickle.

(머시얼 브레이크)


좋은 분야: 에 오신 것을 환영합니다 “GUTFELD INVESTIGATES,” I’m your host Angela Lansbury. Tonight’s case is the pickle a perv or just a troll thrown a curve. Was a mascot soaked in brine cod having too good time? 이번 주, a collegiate summer league baseball team, aren’t they all? Called the Portland Pickles, let their mascot a giant pickle named, Dylan, take over their Twitter account. Because no one knows social media like fermented condiments.

I never make an Instagram post without running it past a bowl of sauerkraut. Dylan’s first tweet was this picture. Take a look at that with a caption new phone who this? 지금, what do you see? I’m torn. Is that just a thumbs up? Or a mascot going full Jeffrey Toobin. 어느 쪽이든, that was his first and last tweet. Four minutes later, the team explained their mascot was misinterpreted that he was just trying to give a thumbs up and not some lewd joke, which is the same excuse I gave at the bus station.

Every day last week. I can’t stop. It’s a problem. Help me. But here’s the kicker, that first tweet also tagged Oscar Meyer and California Senator Scott Wiener so it seems like they wanted to be misinterpreted. 그래서, 아마도, he was working as gherkin after all. And that concludes our latest edition of how to be a journalist. The purpose of a mascot is to do mischievous things, 권리?

MOORE: 예. And baseball mascots have a real phallus problem, I learned. Did you know the San Diego Padresofficial mascot is called the Swinging Fryer?

좋은 분야: 아니.

MOORE: 예. The Rockies official mascot is called Dinger.

좋은 분야: 예.

MOORE: And the Milwaukee Brewers is Bernie and his Sausage friends. This is true. You know that today.

좋은 분야: That’s what makesGUTFELD INVESTIGATEShard-hitting Emmy winning stuff. Kat, can you add to that?

TIMPF: 예, I actually want to say I think Dylan the pickle made two mistakes.

좋은 분야: 뭐?

TIMPF: I think one is he didn’t pick a lane. Like you can be a family friendly base — 알 잖아, baseball mascot, or you can also be a guy who like takes pictures of his penis and tweets it. You can’t be both.

LOFTUS: 예, you can’t be both.

TIMPF: What do you do once, you’re closing the door on the other. Number two, this was his first tweet. 그래서, I’ve said it before. I will say it again. Don’t lead with the (BLEEP) pic, Dylan.

좋은 분야: 그 (알아들을 수 없는) a pickle, 새벽에. 중지. 가다.

맥도웰: I’ve had that.

좋은 분야: You’ve done worse.

맥도웰: A lot worse. 내말은, his complexion is, is much more healthy.

좋은 분야: 예, 예, 예.

맥도웰: Than some people I’ve been with.

좋은 분야: I hate it when it turns green.

맥도웰: I did buy a Portland Pickles t-shirt though

좋은 분야: 예.

맥도웰: It says, keep pickles weird.

좋은 분야: 오, there you go.

맥도웰: I did not make that up so I’m aware around New York. Maybe it’ll keep the perverts at bay. 잘, 사실은, that’s not what I want.

좋은 분야: Last word to you, Loftus.

LOFTUS: 야, the kid in the pickle suit, he went for it. He’s got a great story. 녀석, I was the Portland Pickle for a day totally did a (BLEEP) pic. 알 잖아, it’s a homerun ball.

TIMPF: That inspires, that inspires you.

LOFTUS: 당신은 무엇을 알고, it kind of does. 당신은 무엇을 알고? He’s got a great story for the rest of his life, no matter what he accomplishes. 그는 같다, and then they were talking about on T.V., on the late-night show. 굉장했어.

좋은 분야: 됐어요. You’re like our show’s mascot, 남자 이름, because you wear a costume, a horrible one, and embarrass us. And on that note, don’t go away. 곧 돌아 올게요.

(머시얼 브레이크)

좋은 분야: We are out of time thanks to Tyrus, 맥도웰의 날, Chadwick Moore, Michael Loftus, and Kat Timpf. “FOX NEWS @ NIGHTwith evil Shannon Bream is next. I’m Greg Gutfeld. 사랑해, 미국.

콘텐츠 및 프로그래밍 저작권 2022 폭스 뉴스 네트워크, LLC. 판권 소유. 저작권 2022 VIQ 미디어 전사, Inc. 여기에있는 모든 자료는 미국 저작권법의 보호를받으며 복제 할 수 없습니다., 분산, 전송, 표시, VIQ Media Transcription의 사전 서면 허가 없이 출판 또는 방송, Inc. 상표를 변경하거나 제거 할 수 없습니다., 콘텐츠 사본의 저작권 또는 기타 고지.

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