グレッグ・ガットフェルド, FOXニュースホスト: Happy Friday, my fellow funky Friday, 人々. What a crazy week. It’s like one of hammers hot tub parties. Bad things are happening, but it’s OK because we’re all in this together. First last night’s Town Hall. What did we get from Joe? An incoherent jumble of memories and confused looks. But the best impersonation of Beavis and Butt- Head, Cornholio in history. What the hell was that? But there was more.
ジョー・バイデン, アメリカ合衆国大統領: Forty percent of all products coming into the United States of America on the West Coast go through Los Angeles and — what am I doing here?
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN ANCHOR: To Long Beach?
バイデン: Long Beach. ありがとうございました.
COOPER: Do you have plans to visit the southern border?
バイデン: I’ve been there before and I haven’t — というのは, I know it well. I guess I should go down. But what you see is wages are actually up. Freedom. I have the freedom to kill you. My guess is you’ll start to see gas prices come down as we get by — and going into the winter. というのは, すみません, and then next year in 2022. I must tell you, I don’t have a near-term answer.
COOPER: 氏. 大統領, 氏. 大統領?
バイデン: ところで, there’s two famous guys in this audience here.
グッドフィールド: Maybe they were Beavis and Butt-Head. 上手, that was the opposite of comforting. It seems his only strategy is to deflect from our current misery to promising more misery. 上手, that in fake stories about trains.
バイデン: A lot of the folks in Amtrak became my family, not a joke. Angelo Negri was from memory ranch. And she came up to me one day when I was — when they just had announced that I had flown one million some X number of miles on Air Force aircraft. And asked, she comes up and I’m getting in the car and he goes, Joey baby, what do you do? And I thought the secret here is going to shoot him. 私は言った, 番号, 番号, 番号, 番号, he’s good, he’s a good. It’s a true story.
グッドフィールド: True story. Rambling about trains from a human train wreck. ごめんなさい, the only Biden who knows about rails is Hunter after he snorted a few fresh ones. そう, as America worries, Joe tells a debunked story about a dead Amtrak worker. This guy’s memory is so bad. He’s plagiarizing his own lies. As for the supply chain Fiasco, we did that story last week. But like the President’s memory, it’s only gotten worse.
Empty shelves, escalating prices panic. Kat can’t even buy hair. She’s the true victim. Still nothing changed and why? Because it doesn’t affect the politicians, the rich, the activist class, the very (ブリープ) who are responsible for this mess. But effects you, measly country bumpkins, and you don’t rate. というのは, when was the last time you’re a designer dress to a Gala event? 上手, for me it was Thursday. But I digress.
Sure they drag Buttigieg out of his forte made of marshmallows and kittens to make a statement. But he offered nothing but sorry, you’re stuck with it. He’s clever, but he’s no leader. He’s Eddie Haskell. Eddie Haskell from Leave it to Beaver. Except he doesn’t like the beef. Never watched the show. Now I’ve got nothing against paternity leave. ごめんなさい. It’s Mayor Pete that gave paternity leave a bad name. Taking off a few months.
It’s not like he’s octo mom. He didn’t have eight kids by C-section. Getting a cushy federal Perkville position and then bailing for two months as the country languages. Who do you think you are? カマラ・ハリス? Hell, I didn’t even bail in my first year at college and that was after realizing it was a Holiday Inn Express. I thought that was funny when I wrote it. Fact is no one is in charge and no one cares.
Biden is a big rickety Trojan horse being dragged into your living room by Jen Psaki, Susan Rice and Ron Klain, but there are no warriors inside. Just dust. To put us into Halloween mode, this presidency is the Headless Horseman. It’s not a costume. It’s real and the cobwebs for the decorations come from inside Biden’s head. You know how you can tell no one’s in charge? Where are those infamous executive orders that Biden and least when he got in?
Remember how that was meant to show he was in charge, when really it was all symbolic (ブリープ) take the border crisis. All he wanted was to reverse Trump era policy. Let the new policy failed and slightly revert back to Trump’s and act like he saved us from the disaster that he needlessly put us in. Now with this massive crisis, なし. He could do something, but he won’t. And speaking to Trump.
He would have nuked the supply chain crisis like it was a hurricane. The same way he solved North Korea, the Middle East with Abraham — the Abraham Accords, and of course the vaccines. He would have targeted the issues and blown them up like they were Soleimani on the way to the airport. With the supply chain, he would have created a warp speed in a trucker hat. Just with his Hell’s Angels connections alone, the shelves would already be teeming with Christmas toys.
Oh wait, それは正しい. His tweets are sometimes abrasive. So let’s replace him with a cross between Gilligan and Thurston Howell III. The result, Biden remorse. With no one claiming responsibility for solving this problem, not Pete, not Joe, not even Kamala. She’s too busy avoiding the immigration crisis. Even migrants don’t run from the border like she does. その間, we found out that this clown show, Merrick Garland had breezily targeted domestic terrorists, I.E. 親.
Based on a fact free letter from a left-wing group that had colluded with the government beforehand. So it was all manufactured. This guy is dirtier than Dana Perino’s mouth after two shots of fireball. He also says he gets most of his info from the news. 私は推測する, meaning CNN which explains his empty head. He didn’t know about the attack on the Department of the Interior or the rape in Loudon County because CNN only reports news that protects a coddled audience with room temperature I.Q.s.
The politicians quote the media and the media quotes the politicians. Round and round they go. I won’t use the crude expression for that kind of circle. But I don’t want Jeffrey Toobin to get excited. So like Joe and Mayor Pete, Merricks and other Headless Horseman, no ideas, 番号, なし. Just Stretton his stuff and leaving behind piles of horse crap for the peasants to shovel up.
But now he kicked a hornet’s nest with his bare feet. You think Black Lives Matters or the Tea Party was a movement? Try millions of scorn parents from all economic groups with more racial diversity than a 1980s Benetton ad. Garland kicked a mama bear and the bear has the temperament of a constipated Bernie Sanders. Now parents may be disadvantaged as activists, they’re new added and also they’re too busy to occupy a park.
Block a highway or poop on a sidewalk. They have jobs. Real ones, but they also have kids who I hate. But I get it. You get between parents and their children. You start a battle that will be over a quicker than a typical Joe Biden workday. The Headless Horseman should be scared. He claimed he was going to unify a country and he did against him.
グッドフィールド: 今夜のゲストをお迎えしましょう. She only goes by one name like Madonna, Geraldo and Psoriasis. Host of Kennedy on Fox Business. ケネディ. He started and sold 15 companies in the time it took for this introduction. Author of Woke, 株式会社. ヴィヴェック・ラマスワミー. He’s so white he can’t be worn after Labor Day. Fox News Contributor Tom Shillue. And when life gives her lemons, she runs down Fifth Avenue squeezing them in people’s eyes. フォックスニュース寄稿者, キャット・ティンプ.
So Kennedy, is it me? Or does it feel like America is on autopilot? Like we don’t have any plans to fix any big problems. It’s like they’re pretending like it’s still summer.
LISA KENNEDY MONTGOMERY, FOX BUSINESS NETWORK ANCHOR: はい. そして — but that’s the one common thread that runs through this administration, is no one takes responsibility for anything. No one maturely acknowledges that there are problems to begin with. They just sit there in a holding pattern, just waiting for the weather to clear so they can land and not have to discuss any of this ever again. And it doesn’t matter what it is.
MONTGOMERY: Like inflation, アフガニスタン, 移民, all of these things are not going away.
MONTGOMERY: And blaming people for ordering treadmills or blaming Americans for not getting out of Afghanistan, those are not solutions to ongoing crises. And it’s the kind of thing where everyone thinks and I am one of those people that Joe Biden is run by committee.
MONTGOMERY: He is when he’s in a good mood, but when he’s in a bad mood and he’s still got, ええと, much brain, he’s like, 番号, I’m still going to be the one in charge. I’m not going to be the nice guy. I’m not going to let you do stuff there. And it leaves the country in a real lurch.
グッドフィールド: はい. みたいな — it’s like they treat every problem like a one- night stand. It’s a bad idea it happened, but then they pretend it didn’t happen. Let’s just move on. Vivek, when he said, what am I doing here? That could be a slogan for 2024.
VIVEK RAMASWAMY, AUTHOR, WOKE, INC.: It’s deep, existential question.
RAMASWAMY: (聞き取れない) というのは, I’m going to make a prediction though, グレッグ. And it’s not necessarily from Joe Biden. It’s from the people who manage him. The more we see supply chain shortages, the more inflation we see, 私たちが目にする外交政策の災害が増える. The more woke smoke we’re going to start hearing from this administration too because that is what this is all about. It’s not just insulating themselves from accountability, but distracting people.
Changing the subject. And now as this administration goes south, I predict right now, mark my words, we’re going to see more declarations about racial inequity. We’re going to see more discussion about transgenderism, we’re going to see more discussion about the kinds of cultural issues that are designed to distract the public from their own failures. And you know what the magic trick might have worked in the beginning but I think as people start to actually pay more on their credit card, pay more at the pump, I don’t think they’re going to fall for it anymore.
RAMASWAMY: So I’m actually pretty — I think this could be the medicine we need actually is that we put the guy in office, suffer the consequences a little bit and then I think that will actually get us past cultural problem.
グッドフィールド: Like all those politically correct wokeism platitudes, you can indulge in in times of luxury but in times of panic, they are exposed for what they are. Utterly worthless and actually destructive because it keeps symbolic action always keeps you from real action, which I tell Tom all the time. I like — Joey says the buck stops here. But then he plays somebody else. The buck stops here, over there.
TOM SHILLUE, FOXニュース寄稿者: そしてそれは, which buck? それ — that’s the thing is. There’s so many things.
SHILLUE: There’s so many things going wrong. というのは, we didn’t even talk about all of his restrictions on liberty. That’s what, ええと, we watch him bumbling around the stage and there’s something funny about it. And it makes you think that he’s a harmless figure. It’d be one thing if he were just doing nothing and the world was getting worse.
SHILLUE: But he’s actually doing things.
SHILLUE: He’s forcing masks on children and adults. That’s not good. He’s forcing injections on people, that’s not good. He’s shutting down the economy. というのは, the shutdowns, they hurt this country so badly. So he’s doing real harm. But he looks like Mr. Magoo, so we forget that he’s really hurting the country so much.
グッドフィールド: 正しい. Don’t smear Mr. Magoo.
SHILLUE: He didn’t mean it.
グッドフィールド: Voice by Jim Backus.
ケネディ: Thurston Howard —
グッドフィールド: Thurston Howard III. うわあ. ワオ. My brain is just on fire right now.
ケネディ: It’s a simulation.
グッドフィールド: It is a simulation. Everything is a simulation. キャット, what is interesting to me and I’m assuming it’s interesting to you because you work for me.
キャサリン・ティンプ, FOXニュース寄稿者: OK.
グッドフィールド: I’ve never seen a leader so nonchalant about bearing bad news. Like it’s almost like it is not his problem. It’s your problem. Suck it up lower your expectations. It’s kind of weird.
ティンプ: I mean it’s an effective — an effective tool actually if you want to give someone’s bad news, you act like it’s no big deal hoping they match the mood. I’ve used that method repeatedly.
グッドフィールド: In what matter? Examples please.
ティンプ: 上手, I’d rather not because then — all my work would be for nothing.
ティンプ: But I will say the most alarming thing about the Town Hall is remember last week they let us all know earlier this week that all the questions would — they were be prescreened. There were no surprises there.
ティンプ: And that still happened. He forgot the name of the Port of Long Beach and that’s what it’s called, the Port of Long Beach.
グッドフィールド: And Kat, how hard is it to remember a long beach?
ティンプ: Beach. そうではありません. He knew about all those questions.
ティンプ: How does that happen?
グッドフィールド: 知りません. 知りません. It’s interesting what would have happened if you — if they were spontaneous.
ティンプ: I would love to watch that. しかし、私は意味します, the scary thing about it is he was way better on the in the debates than he is now and that suggests that this thing is going in a — in a rather quick direction, but I won’t. I’m not a doctor, although I do pretend to be one on the weekends.
ケネディ: Are you saying that he was juicing and hopped up on some Hunter’s booger sugar?
ティンプ: はい. I think that’s exactly what I was saying, ケネディ.
グッドフィールド: はい. I’m not saying he wasn’t doing an eight ball before the debates. But I’m not not saying that’s how you get around the speculation. また, もし、あんたが — if you raise — do what CNN does and raise a question.
ティンプ: はい. 私は —
ティンプ: Just asking questions.
グッドフィールド: はい. はい. 大丈夫. We must move on. What a great start. 次に, a marine was courageous while crooks were outrageous.
グッドフィールド: It was a bad guy versus Semper Fi. はい, they came to rob the place but a marine got in their face. それは本当です. You want to shut down a crime scene? Find a marine. A hero marine said ooh rah and took these thugs to school rah. I went too far. I acknowledge that. 今週, in Yuma, Arizona marine single handedly disarmed a would be robber, literally. Single handed. He didn’t even drop his purchase.
I mean that is impressive. You point a gun at me. I’m dropping more than my preparation H and Virginia Slims. Which by the way, go together. Splendidly. Just dip a little and then. It’ll happen so quickly. The suspects never knew what hit him. The hero vet just standing there minding his own business. The two mostly peaceful dudes in busting. Their guns drawn and he takes one of the them down and then the other goes scampering off into the night terrified.
I haven’t seen reflexes that fast and someone spilled Parmesan cheese in front of Kat. So America, this is what heroism looks like. It’s not blocking traffic, looting or whining about your pronouns on TikTok, a marine staring death in the eye and taking it down. Standing up to lawlessness and doing what’s right. He said the Marines taught him not to mess around, which coincidentally is the same thing Dana Perino taught me when I tried on one of her dresses.
トム, you’re a — you’re a cold blooded killer.
グッドフィールド: A lot of people don’t know that about you. You don’t just kill on stage. You kill in fields, train stations, arcs.
グッドフィールド: はい, それは本当です.
SHILLUE: I’ve done this. I do like this guy here whenever the bad guys are around.
SHILLUE: I’m like this guy. I react immediately.
SHILLUE: はい. But it never goes as well as it does with this guy. Because it takes me like five to 10 seconds to get into that Karate Kid one legged stance that I like to get in to. And then the guys just start laughing and then it goes downhill from there.
グッドフィールド: はい. Actually knowing karate doesn’t help.
SHILLUE: 番号. 番号. I don’t know karate but watch. Time me. Put that — set the time, 準備ができました? 行け.
グッドフィールド: There you go.
SHILLUE: So it usually — it scares them off. And then I do this, I flick.
ティンプ: I’m a little scared.
グッドフィールド: はい. I’m scared.
グッドフィールド: キャット, you are married to a vet. A veteran not a veterinarian. Although there are some perks to the veterinarian.
ティンプ: I would have saved a lot of money.
グッドフィールド: はい. You would have.
ティンプ: Did this — seeing this happen inspire you? Make you feel good that we have true heroes in our midst all around? I like to think of myself as a true hero.
ティンプ: 上手, thank you for your service first of all.
ティンプ: It’s important to tell you that every day.
ティンプ: はい. というのは, it was just crazy that —
グッドフィールド: 待つ. Here’s a question.
グッドフィールド: Do — are women into this as much as we are? Would I — これまで — I’ve got it but let’s be honest. When we watch it we all put ourselves in the place. Do you look at that and go —
ティンプ: Am I my sexually attracted to that man?
ティンプ: Not really.
グッドフィールド: OK. あのね, you hate America, you hate the military.
ティンプ: OK. 大丈夫. That’s totally fair conclusion.
ティンプ: The draw from the fact that I do not want to have sex with that particular man. したがって、, I hate — therefore I hate the truth.
グッドフィールド: You’re somehow attracted to the armed robber.
ティンプ: Maybe a little bit.
グッドフィールド: はい. I knew it. Always the bad guy. Make me sick to my stomach.
ティンプ: You’re not alone there.
グッドフィールド: Did you have a point or should we just move on?
ティンプ: I think I — I think I made a very important point
グッドフィールド: はい, you did. I don’t know if it was important but you did make a point. Vivek, what would you have done to this situation? You’re a — an investor, multi-zillion dollar guy. You would have had bodyguards.
RAMASWAMY: というのは, I salute this guy. He did it himself. Does his own work (聞き取れない) makes me sad about it, Greg is that they got to save their cool moves now to use in America cities rather than in places like Afghanistan or Middle East, 正しい? This isn’t a stuff he was trying to do somewhere else.
RAMASWAMY: Now this stuff’s happening in our gas stations here.
RAMASWAMY: So that’s the part that, ええと, it was inspiring story. The guy’s clearly awesome. We need to do something for him. But I think the fact that you’re seeing America cities, というのは, Chicago might be a scarier place that half the places in the Middle East.
RAMASWAMY: That we’re going to have to deploy our Marines here at home to be saving people in gas stations because the defunded police can’t do it.
RAMASWAMY: That’s the sad part of the story but good for this guy.
RAMASWAMY: Maybe he could actually give him a hand.
グッドフィールド: それは本当です. ええと, I don’t know what this guy does for a living now Kennedy, but he probably has — we don’t even know his name. I wonder if that’s on purpose.
ケネディ: はい, because he doesn’t want a box of my panties mailed to him. That’s the reason.
グッドフィールド: Is that like my pillow?
ケネディ: そうなる. It actually will be.
ケネディ: If I have that guy’s name and address, most certainly will be.
グッドフィールド: My panties.
ケネディ: My panties have healing powers.
ケネディ: Relief factor. You do not need them to get into a bathtub sideways. But speaking of bathtubs, I actually put this on a loop. I didn’t do it. I have my 12-year-old daughter do it because I have no idea how to use an iPad or technology. だが — and then I sat in a bubble bath with a vibrating egg and a bottle of Chardonnay and watched it for about six hours. それは — I want to thank that man for his service. I want him to thank me for my cervix. 知りません (聞き取れない) it’s a great thing. Great thing.
グッドフィールド: Went a little blue there. I want you to know I’m disgusted by this behavior. I tried to keep a clean show here. 大丈夫.
グッドフィールド: はい. That was fun though I have to say. 大丈夫, 次に, China will cut the broadcast feed if you say Tibet should be free.
グッドフィールド: China won’t show you shooting hoops unless you’re one of their media dupes. And the NB plays — NBA plays along because the revenue stream is so strong. The Boston Celtics who I’m told play basketball and not flutes, キャット, have been pulled from Chinese media after Celtic players — Celtic player Enes Kanter called for Tibetan independence.
ENES KANTER, NBA PLAYER: Under the Chinese government’s Buddha rule, Tibetan people’s basic rights and freedoms are not-existent. They are not allowed to study and learn their language and culture freely. They are not allowed to travel freely. They are not allowed to access information freely. The Tibetan people are not even allowed to worship freely. Brutal dictator of China, Xi Jinping, I have a message for you and your henchmen: Free Tibet. Free Tibet. Free Tibet.
グレッグ・ガットフェルド, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Enes is now a menace. Now that stance is illegal in China, they don’t like any calls for freedom unless it’s the freedom to enslave Uighurs to make shoes for basketball players. そう, 水曜日に, Chinese streaming giant, Tencent, cut the live broadcast between the Knicks and the Celtics. It was almost as fast as the White House cutting the feed when Biden starts answering questions. そう, why does this matter? 上手, because China reportedly accounts for at least 10 percent of the NBA’s revenues, so the league is reluctant to piss off the dictatorship.
二年前, NBA Executive Daryl Morey tweeted support for democracy in Hong Kong, and his team’s games are still banned from TV there. Morey later apologized, likely pressured by the NBA to do so. プラス, the NBA and other American companies like Nike, who rely on China to sustain their growth and pretty much ignored Beijing’s (ブリープ) human rights record, supporting tearing down 100-year-old statues of slave owners is one thing but publicly oppose the actual slavery we’re profiting off of in 2021. Don’t look at us. Maybe the NBA is just waiting to see which pronouns the slaves prefer before releasing a statement. その間, instead of Celtic games, China plans to show this instead.
Birds got some balls. ケネディ, you are a friend of Enes.
LISA KENNEDY-MONTGOMERY, FOX BUSINESS NETWORK HOST: はい.
グッドフィールド: これは — というのは, I could say, it takes balls and it definitely put some, it juxtaposes him from some of the other players in the NBA.
MONTGOMERY: というのは, the level of courage it takes for him. This is someone whose entire family essentially has been imprisoned in Turkey, because he has spoken out against the, the Turkish dictatorship of President Erdogan there, and they have been — he cannot speak to his family, he cannot see them. They would love for him to go play in a country where he can be extradited so they could throw him in prison. And he knows what he’s up against. He knows he’s putting his reputation and his career on the line, but he really spends his time and, and puts his mouth where the danger is – – and stands up —
グッドフィールド: I’ve done that.
MONTGOMERY: But he stands up for people who are really oppressed. あなたが知っています, he’s not only standing up against LeBron James, but the Celtics who benched him right during that game.
MONTGOMERY: Because he was wearing a pair of shoes that were painted by a Chinese artist that said “Free Tibet” and had a picture of a person in emulation who had set themselves on fire —
MONTGOMERY: Which is what people in Tibet are doing. はい.
グッドフィールド: はい. はい, I’m sure if he had kneeled might have been a different story. Vivek, this is your wheelhouse. そう, feel free to answer whatever question is already in your head.
VIVEK RAMASWAMY, FOUNDER, ROIVANT SCIENCES: 上手, it’s what you said about kneeling, それは, it’s doesn’t make a lot of courage to kneel when everybody else was kneeling during the national anthem, or to paint Black Lives Matter on the court. This guy took courage and I respect that. And I think the, the thing I want to watch for because I think China is the single greatest threat to the integrity the United States in the free world over the next 10 年, I think they’re going to invade Taiwan.
I think it’s going to be early 2023. That’s my prediction right before the next presidential election because they’re not going to take that risk. I want to see what the NBA says, now we know somebody who’s going to actually stand up. I remembered LeBron James, when Daryl Morey sent that tweet.
RAMASWAMY: He was the first person to come to China’s public defense.
RAMASWAMY: His corporate and celebrity cronies of China are really in the NBA and every celebrity, John Cena, recently shamelessly apologizing to China for the sin of — calling Taiwan a country.
MONTGOMERY: And meandering.
RAMASWAMY: But this is, これは, this is everywhere. そう, this is a guy who actually stands up to the system. And I got to give him a little bit of credit for that. More people are going to need to do it though, because if we don’t make sacrifices for the gold that we seek in China, their trick is going to work where they build the great Chinese wall that prevents you from entering the market if you criticize the CCP. This is a guy who’s willing to make that sacrifice.
グッドフィールド: はい. 神, this this show is fully heroes, there’s me and those other people. キャット, how soon before the NBA like forces this guy to apologize? And the question is, will he?
キャサリン・ティンプ, FOXニュース寄稿者: はい, I don’t think he gives a (ブリープ). Because by doing this, it’s not like there’s going to be no consequences. He already knows that. ええと, it’s not like LeBron James, 例えば, is under the impression that China’s good. He just knows that doing what he does and saying what he says is good for his own bottom line.
ティンプ: そう, he knows that he’s missing out on those things. If you’re going to actually proactively go out and do this, he’s not going to apologize or take it back.
グッドフィールド: はい, you played in the NBA, didn’t you Tom?
TOM SHILLUE, エディアン: I would have loved it. I would have loved it. はい.
グッドフィールド: You’re not quite tall enough, あなたは?
SHILLUE: 番号, 私は違います, or good enough. 番号, I think this guy’s great. It’s amazing that we are because he is a hero, but it’s amazing what, what it takes to be a hero now just stating the obvious.
グッドフィールド: はい, that’s true.
SHILLUE: It’s so simple. And Morey, this guy, he is now I think he’s with Philadelphia. They don’t show Philadelphia’s games either in China so they don’t have the Celtics in China, they don’t Philadelphia, all it takes is one player to speak up. And then they’re blacklisting the team that’s why we need other heroes like this to state the obvious. というのは, Morey, all he even said, if I remember correctly, was we stand with the people of Hong Kong.
SHILLUE: And then the NBA apologized? というのは, that’s the cowardice. I hate to pick on the players even though I love to pick on LeBron because he is a coward but the, the NBA — because he’s a real hack and a flak for the Chinese Communist Party. But the NBA, it’s the corporate hacks.
SHILLUE: I don’t know any of their names, but they’re all a bunch of jerks. そして —
グッドフィールド: Watch your mouth. It’s a family show. (ブリープ)
SHILLUE: すごい —
グッドフィールド: Go ahead, go ahead, finish your —
SHILLUE: That we have to, ええと, essentially that’s where we end up going is we end up blaming the players for one standing up, but the whole that it’s the corporate cowards of the NBA, and we should let them know that we don’t like what they’re doing.
グッドフィールド: はい, the problem is we like our sports. そう, we kind of like we go yes, はい, and then we watch the games. That’s why I picketed the NBA.
RAMASWAMY: I don’t watch the game. I don’t watch.
ティンプ: Me too.
グッドフィールド: I don’t watch the games.
ティンプ: I don’t watch any of the sport.
MONTGOMERY: I watch all the games. I watch all the games for you. ああ, 申し訳ありません, I thought this was America.
グッドフィールド: 番号, それ — my point is I never watched anything. そう, it’s like a fake boycott. It’s like I like to boycott things I never really use.
ティンプ: はい, はい — I wasn’t watching them anyway, but now I’m not watching.
グッドフィールド: 来る, a monster with a messed-up face talks about offending the alien race.
グッドフィールド: A popstar cares about UFO species, but is she just full of feces? It’s a family show, I could have said (ブリープ). In a recent interview with an Australian outlet, singer Demi Lovato said we have to stop calling them aliens, because it’s a derogatory term. 代わりに, she prefers to call intergalactic being beings E.T.s. But do little green men really care? Only one creature can get to the bottom of this. 私は言う, creature because he isn’t from around here. He’s also the leader of the greatest band this side of the Milky Way, Gwar. Welcome back to the show Gwar front man, the Berserker, Blother, how are you?
BLOTHER, GWAR FRONT MAN: I’m doing good. おめでとう, グレッグ, King in the Nighttime World.
グッドフィールド: それは本当です. I feel like I owe some of it to you, Blother.
BLOTHER: That’s what I think.
グッドフィールド: はい. そう, do you agree with Lovato that Alien is a derogatory term?
BLOTHER: 上手, 見て, 私にさせて, let me get this out of the way. I am a complete Lovato-tick, OK. I love Demi Lovato. But what do I believe — but do I believe that what she’s saying is true? 番号, 私はしません. というのは, it’s not like the aliens can’t watch movies and know what we think of them. 私達, being people on the planet Earth, I am actually an alien. And I don’t personally take this as, as an offense. I’ve been here long enough that I consider myself you know, just part of the gang here on Earth. And I can tell you that we don’t mind being called aliens.
グッドフィールド: Have you —
BLOTHER: That’s what we are — というのは —
グッドフィールド: have you ever been just you know, you come to Earth you don’t look like Earthlings, are you ever discriminated against because of how you look?
BLOTHER: 上手, 悲しいことに, はい. But usually, それは, it’s more of a structural sort of discrimination. There’s a lot of doorways that I can’t fit through.
グッドフィールド: そう, you’re saying there’s a systemic bigotry against space aliens and, and that’s bothersome to you?
BLOTHER: And fat people, はい. はい.
グッドフィールド: それは本当だ, あまりにも. ええと, there was a Harvard professor who says that aliens created universe in a lab. Do you believe this?
BLOTHER: ええと, this is the same guy who was talking about (聞き取れない) – – というのは, ええと, do I believe that? I know that I was created in a lab. I don’t know about the universe.
グッドフィールド: You were created in the lab. 見る, that part is interesting, do you — here’s a philosophical question, do you believe that the universe was created or was the universe always here?
BLOTHER: I think the universe actually is, is it’s what some kid is experiencing as they’re playing a video game, while smoking a lot of weeds. That’s what the universe really is.
グッドフィールド: I feel that same way.
BLOTHER: そう, 番号, 番号, 番号, did it? Did it all happen before he went to K-mart and bought the game? 知りません.
グッドフィールド: Do you believe in the Big Bang?
BLOTHER: I certainly do.
グッドフィールド: I have a feeling —
BLOTHER: That a gang of them.
グッドフィールド: There’s a — what did you think of William Shatner’s 10-minute ride to space? Were you impressed by it?
BLOTHER: 何, ちょっと待って. Was he in the Wiener rocket?
グッドフィールド: はい. He was in the (ブリープ).
BLOTHER: はい, はい. というのは, everything was good until he came back to Earth, and started talking to Jeff Bezos, got really dramatic about it. おとこ, he sounded — I haven’t seen him that excited since he went to Cracker Barrel the last time.
グッドフィールド: You don’t —
BLOTHER: You wouldn’t believe what happened. A transcendent experience. I do feel a kinship. はい, I do feel a kinship with Demi Lovato though, I got to tell you this, I got to tell you this. And there and the reason is because I also am non-binary. I’m actually non, non-tertiary. I don’t know what you’d call it.
BLOTHER: ええと, I’ve got — I have four (ブリープ), so what does that make me?
グッドフィールド: ええと, I can’t wait to see it up close when you come to the studio. ありがとうございました, Blother. Always a pleasure, everybody buy Gwar. Get Gwar’s latest work. 次に, enjoy these jokes from hell before they start to smell.
アナウンサー: “GREG’S LEFTOVERS”
グッドフィールド: You know the story we get, we write a lot of jokes we don’t use them so we keep them for now call them leftovers. I haven’t read them yet. そう, here go — here ago? What am I talk — did I just have a mini stroke? 大丈夫. 今週 100 protesters in downtown Portland smash store windows, set fires and did a half a million dollars in damage or as CNN calls it happy time pumpkin patch party.
Joe Biden’s getting creative and convincing Americans his $ 3.5 trillion budget will work. In his latest version he claims we can pay for it with Kohl’s cash.
Walmart is reportedly training management and critical race theory, makes sense if there’s one place that debunks the theory that white people are superior, it’s Walmart. This is kind of shocking. I’ve been to Walmart several times and I couldn’t find anybody who worked there. In honor of the training, Walmart has changed their slogan to save many, save money, live better, (ブリープ) 君は. According to a new report.
Microsoft executives had to order Bill Gates to stop sending flirty e-mails to a female subordinate, or at least stop mentioning that her virus protection had expired.
Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot was spotted breaking her own mask rules in a huge crowd at the WNBA Finals. Even more shocking, there was a huge crowd for a WNBA game. That is so something a sexist like Tom Shillue would say. Ohio college students were reportedly angry and scared after cisgender men had to enter their safe space dorm to install a radiator. Going forward, the school promises no longer to send repairman so the students can safely freeze to death.
どうやら, the last straw was when the guy installing the radiator showed some butt cleavage. Republican Senator and Physician Bill Cassidy says cognitive tests should be mandated for federal government leaders. When he heard about this, Joe Biden said there will be no such tests as long as I’m the president of putting.
Washington State University head football coach has been ousted after refusing the vaccine. その間, unvaccinated players have been advised to stay six feet apart while tackling. That’s not possible, キャット.
ティンプ: ああ, ありがとうございました.
グッドフィールド: はい, just because I noticed you didn’t laugh.
ティンプ: ありがとうございました. はい. はい.
グッドフィールド: A robotics company has created a new line of robot dogs that come equipped with sniper rifles. Great, I finally found a new hunting dog, said Dick Cheney. Because you — if you don’t remember he shot somebody in the face. There’s no plans for civilian use, but official say if the robot dog tries to sniff your crotch, you’d better let him.
California real estate agent has been promoting his million-dollar listing with nude photos of himself. The price is considered firm, but not as firm as it used to be.
Fans of Dave Chappelle clashed with trans rights protesters outside Netflix’s corporate offices. The event was mostly peaceful, although it was repeatedly interrupted by a message asking: Are you still watching?
A woman is suing Kellogg’s for $ 5 百万, claiming their strawberry pop tarts don’t contain enough strawberries. She claims they’ve been bulking them up with cheap fillers like apples, bananas and whatever Tom Cruise has been putting in his face. The lawsuit claims the pop tarts are filled with lower quality ingredients and red dye number 40, which is my favorite. It’s the same color I put on my butt to attract that boom. I don’t do that. I should really look at this stuff.
最後に, a woman survived a four-hour operation to remove an axe from her head. She described the pain as “still not as bad as watching The View.” Don’t go away. We’ll be right back.
グッドフィールド: 毎晩 DVR を設定して、エピソードを見逃さないようにしましょう. Thanks to lovely Kennedy, lovely Vivek Ramaswamy, Tom Shillue, and this crazy lady to my right, our delightful studio audience. “フォックスニュース@ナイト” with evil, evil Shannon Bream is next. I’m Oprah Gutfeld and I love you America.
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