“Instagramの泣いている女性,” she wrote alongside a one-minute video of herself sobbing in bed on Thursday. “今週は私にとって本当に大変な一週間でした. (私の夫の死の日, becoming an empty nester and finding out I’m not as loveable as I thought I was).”
ザ・ モデル, 56, said she couldn’t “pretend” she wasn’t experiencing a painful influx of “grief, heartbreak and the utter sense of being alone” as she looked back on her decades-long relationship with Ocasek.
As previously reported, Ocasek secretly cut her out of his will before his unexpected death, which forced Porizkova to rely on friends to pay for groceries and to sell the couple’s Gramercy Park abode.
In her Thursday post, Porizkova preemptively clapped back at haters who might criticize her for documenting her breakdown on social media.
“All of you who wonder why and how the hell I manage to do a video of myself when I’m so hurt- it’s a good question,” 彼女は書いた. “The action of setting a camera and turning it on breaks the moment of the emotional wave, so one has to wait for it to come back.”
“The morning I shot this, I was so raw I spent the whole day crying, so setting a camera wasn’t an issue. I couldn’t have NOT cried.”
Although the Czech-born beauty is unsure if her Instagram post is “an act of stupidity or courage,” she acknowledged that it has provided a sense of relief after years of maintaining a stoic disposition.
“As all my loved ones can attest, I was the woman who never cried. Never. Only secretly, in shadows. Showing myself this vulnerable is probably like you showing US a naked unflattering photo of yourself,” 彼女は続けた. “This is me at my most vulnerable. My most naked.”
Porizkova concluded her post by saying she has “hit the bottom” but is “ready to emerge” as a new woman: “Next week, expect to see me with three baby dragons.”
The former Sports Illustrated stunner cried on Instagram back in August and claimed she was “ブラインドサイド” by someone’s “betrayal.” Although no names were mentioned, she split from Aaron Sorkin earlier this year after three months of dating publicly.