'The Five' on crime sprees in California, gas prices under Biden

JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS HOST (sulla fotocamera): Ciao, tutti. I’m Jesse Watters along with Dagen McDowell, Jessica Tarlov, Dana Perino, e Greg Gutfeld.

It’s five o’clock in New York City, and this is THE FIVE.

It is a coast-to-coast crime wave brought to you by Democrats weak and completely irresponsible crime policies. Smash and grab game striking yet again in California this time knocking off a jewelry store. And as for the thieves who have been busted for storming other places, bene, the LAPD announcing 14 suspects have been set free. The police chief blasting no bail policies.


MICHEL MOORE, CAPO DELLA POLIZIA, LOS ANGELES POLICE DEPARTMENT: All of the suspects taken into custody are out of custody. Be there as a result of one juvenile. Or the others as a result of bailing out, or no bail, zero bail criteria.

The risk of COVID to those that are in custody the court system installed the zero-bail system as a mean of safeguard, but as we evolve through this, there’s criminal elements ofthe criminal elements that are recognizing that condition and are capitalizing on it.


WATTER (sulla fotocamera): In New York City a suspected gang member with a long rap sheet going on a stabbing spree. Knifing a Columbia student who bled to death and then wounding a tourist. The Bank of America telling its employees to dress down to avoid getting targeted on the street while the city gets rocked by a crime wave.

Così, what does the White House plan to do about all of this? Jen Psaki trying to clean up her boneheaded comments yesterday, blaming the crime on COVID. Orologio.


JEN PSAKI, SEGRETARIO STAMPA DELLA CASA BIANCA: I think a root cause in a lot of communities is the pandemic. sì.

What I should have added yesterday but I learned afterwards is that the Justice Department and the FBI and the federal law enforcement have been in touch, in contact with jurisdictions where we have seen this high level of retail theft.

On top of that the Department of Justice announced last week that San Francisco where a number of high-profile retail thefts have happened, will get money to high 50 more police officers through the cops’ programma.


WATTER (sulla fotocamera): Non lo so. Is that going to cut it?

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST DI FOX NEWS: Bene, the thing is, aggiungendo 50 poliziotti, bene. That might be a great for a day but then if the career criminals get back on the street the day after they are arrested and are just let go because of the policies, then it doesn’t make much sense.

And I think that it wouldthe White House I think would be in a position to be able to say what’s happening at the local level is wrong but they won’t, because all of it goes back to all the big funders from the beginning.


PERINO: E tu sai, Michael Bloomberg also was a part of this and trying to get more progressive district attorneys in thisin the country that has happened and apparently has work. I think the White House ought to ban a phraseroot causes.


PERINO: They have so many root cause issues that they are not actually addressing that is because


WATTER: They are the root cause.

PERINO: And the thing like they have jobs numbers today and it’s almost like the career criminals, their jobs are like secure. Because you are not ever going to get put in jail and made to stay there.

If I were at the White House, I would definitely say we should change this up immediately, uno, on the merits that’s necessary because of what’s happening. But two, because Jessica has made some great points this week about you can’t tell people that what they are seeing with their own eyes isn’t happening.

Because that’s the surest way to make sure that you are going to fail in elections and then you can’t get any of your policies done.

WATTER: Do you have more great points?

JESSICA TARLOV, COLLABORATORE FOX NEWS: I think so. You may not think so but I think Dana will.

WATTER: Well said.

TARLOV: There are three key players that I see here. Così, the police chiefs, the D.A.’s, and the mayors. And you are hearing more out of the police chiefs and the mayors about this problem. Eric Adams went down to the Biden White House for a meeting that was all police chiefs and mayors. He is taking a very tough on crime stance. We’ll see what happens when he gets inaugurated. But that was obviously part of his platform for winning.

Così, if we get them in sync and that means that those two groups, the police chiefs and the mayors going to the D.A.’s and saying in practice this is not working. I understand where all progressives here. Because most of the mayors are also progressive like the D.A.’s. But this is what’s happening on the streets.

And if we don’t get all on the same page, funding is going to be cut, we’re also going to losecontinue to lose tax dollars because people are going to move out of the cities. They are not going to become empty.

Così, bringing back together which is something that Bloomberg worked on really hard when he created this mayoral task force, there was a nationwide project, and was actually quite effective is something that I think is going to underpin a change here. And then the White House will be able to speak more cogently about what they are doing to try to help.

WATTER: But don’t you also have to kick down doors at the city council level? Because it was the radical city council members that put all these policies in place.


WATTER: Mi dispiace.

MCDOWELL: No, no, I was thinking that when Jessica was saying that. This actually is a statewide level.


MCDOWELL: Because in New York the bail reform


MCDOWELL: — was at the state level, also something here in New York, discovery reform which led to fewer witnesses going forward because

WATTER: Cos'è quello.

MCDOWELL: — the defense teams were basically given the personal information of witnesses. E così, it discouraged witnesses from coming forward.

WATTER: That’s crazy.

MCDOWELL: The city council here in New York City also passed a few years ago, like three years ago, the Right to Know Act which forces the cops to inform suspects that, you can tell us not to search you.

It putsit puts the cops and the role of being legal counsel


MCDOWELL: — to criminals. Così, there are myriad problems. It will take years to be undone. If they can be undone at all. But I’ll tell you one thing that would help, if Bank of America, they’re telling their employees quietly up, maybe don’t wear your wedding ring or your engagement ring to work. They’re essentially telling their employees you’re in danger if you come to work here. Perchè no —


PERINO: sì, why not just work from home?

MCDOWELL: Why not move your damn jobs to somewhere that’s more hospitable. You start moving your tax base out of New York City, the building is right down the street, you know who’s going to snub and take notice? It’s the city council and it’s the state government. That’s what they ought to do.

PERINO: Buon punto.

MCDOWELL: They are already in Charlotte. Move them on out. No one wants to live there anyway. It’s a hell hole.

WATTER: Gutfeld doesn’t have to worry about looking too nice when he leaves the building.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST DI FOX NEWS: What is that supposed to mean?

WATTER: You look at yourself

BUON CAMPO: What’s wrong?

WATTER: You don’t look like you are flossed out, Gutfeld. Guarda, you’ve got a black sweater.

BUON CAMPO: Where is this going?


BUON CAMPO: Does anybody know?

WATTER: No one knows.

BUON CAMPO: You shouldn’t just let him go.

WATTER: I love that.

BUON CAMPO: Sai, the root cause of crime is progressivism. It is the misunderstanding of incentives. They are incentivizing crime by with no bail and all of these measures. That’s why you have the criminals.

We are allowing the media, the White House to redefine crime is like a weather pattern. Piace, sai, you go out there, be sure to bundle up. Dress like a hobo. Destra? Because there’s a 70 percent chance of smash and grab. Thirty percent chance of felonious assault. Così, it’s up to you and it’s out of your hands.

I am soI feel so hopeless about this because it’s been going on for quite a while. I am thinking about joining the dark side. Why bother being a law-abiding citizen and pay all these taxes and go shopping when you can just smash and grab? intendo, why am I going to Amazon online when I live around the corner from the store? I could just totally smash them windows. take somejust join.

If you can’t beat them, join them. There should be an app for solitary people like me who can meet up with other solitary looters. Because that’s my problem. Non lo so, like I don’t have a lot of friends. I don’t have a mob that can like come with me while I go trash other people’s private property.

So maybe we could dowe could do an app for that. The bottom line is we have redefined law and order as systemically racist so anytime you enforce the law, you’re going to be called a racist. Which is the most effective method for undermining society. We are watching society implode.

I feel absolutely hopeless. That kid. That Columbia kid was murdered, was murdered by a guy that’s been in and out of jail. intendo, maybe his parents have some influence. Maybe with the home invasion in Beverly Hills, will that wake-up people? Sai, a music legend murdered, destra? While her husband was sleeping or her husband was sleeping. She was murdered. Perché — Come — doesn’t this wake Pelosi up? Don’t some of these people travel in the same circles?

WATTER: Bene, intendo, it shouldn’t have to happen that way. That’s the point.

BUON CAMPO: sì. Young ha fatto il passaggio di 40 yard alla Williams nel secondo quarto con circa, not until hell comes to their house

WATTER: Destra.

BUON CAMPO: — will they wake up.

WATTER: Bene, it’s coming pretty close.


WATTER: Straight ahead, Democrats getting roasted for a ridiculous attempt to brag about the Biden economy.


MCDOWELL (sulla fotocamera): Democrats getting ridiculed for their pathetic attempt at trying to give President Biden a pat on the back despite soaring gas prices. The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee proudly tweeting out this cherry-picked chart showing gas prices dropping by $ 0.02 over two weeks.

Even The Washington Post thinks it’s lame, saying it might be the worst defense of the Biden administration yet. What jackass thought this was a good idea and should said jackass be fired?

PERINO: Bene, I think I shouldwe should refer to Jessica to make the one great point about how this all started. Così, I don’t take it.


TARLOV: As though as the jackass?

PERINO: No. Because I don’t want to


TARLOV: No. No, she already talked about it on America’s Newsroom but what is funny about this is it was a joke from (Inaudible). He’s a super lefty and hasI very much enjoy his Substack, direi. And he did it as a joke. The DCCC took it seriously, it’s been retweeted by Ron Klain. It’s really bad y- axis.


TARLOV: Piace, è da pazzi.

BUON CAMPO: More like why not access.

PERINO: sì, perchè no.

TARLOV: So that’s a nice little distraction to the whole thing. There were some good things. Il 4.2 percent unemployment rate is good. I imagine that the job numbers will be revised like it has been for the past few months because (Inaudible) just doesn’t sink up with it. I think we are at an average of 588 a month during the Biden administration which is good. I know we’re coming out of a pandemic. But that is the origin of the chart.


PERINO: The thing is the administration has these allies like the DCCC. That’s basically the campaign arm that tries to get Democrats elected to the House of Representatives. E tu sai, maybe somebody thought it was cute. There’s no quality control, qualunque cosa.

And it seems harmless, destra, but it absolutely undermines all the credibility. Everyone from The Washington Post on down basically said this is so embarrassing. You should never be allowed to do this again.

MCDOWELL: Now almost as embarrassing as the White House talking about the July 4th your barbecue is going to $ 0.16 cheaper than it was a year ago.


MCDOWELL: Così, Greg, they don’t know what to do.

BUON CAMPO: Vedere, I actually appreciate this kind of thing because it’s a great lesson in data manipulation. We are living inwe’re drowning in data and almost all of it is B.S. Because it’s when the data comes out, it ends up being manipulated in a way that it can’t be trusted.

Così, you see what this chart did, is that it zeroed in on the smallest increase and created a line that appears to be dramatic when in fact it’s just a tiny little thing. Per esempio, let’s say you hear about a study that says if you take the conclusion from the study is if you take this pill, it will cut the rate of illness in half. Destra?

But then you read up. And it was like, it went from two people in 10,000 to one person in 10,000. So cut in half but it’s essentially meaningless. That’s how you deal with data. And youthe best thing you can do when you take statistics courses, learn how to read stuff, take an economics class


BUON CAMPO: — if you’re young because then you’ll be able to laugh at this stuff and not get taken.

WATTER: Bene, they did this with the coronavirus.


WATTER: Cases exploding 20 per cento!


WATTER: Cases went from four to six.

BUON CAMPO: sì, Esattamente.

WATTER: Something like that.

BUON CAMPO: Esattamente.

WATTER: I don’t know if the Democrats are dumb or they think the American people are dumb. If the Democrats are dumb, that makes sense to me, destra? That would explain their dumb policies. lo capisco.

But if they think the American people are so dumb that they are going to see this and go, Joe, grazie. I’m so grateful, then that really pisses me off because it shows a lot of contempt for the voters.

They’re just not even going to look at the fine print. Or they are just going to scan through and see this and just be deceived. There is a difference between spin which a lot of people do, and deception. And I know that difference because occasionally I will spin.


WATTER: Occasionally.

TARLOV: But never to say


BUON CAMPO: Sai cosa, anche se? It’s kind of like people get taken by this kind of data game, or the same people that fall for like fad diets. Piace 70 per cento. Like people that are into drinking raw milk. Destra?

WATTER: Bene, if you do your research, you might realize that raw milk could be healthy

BUON CAMPO: Tutto ok.

WATTER: — to some people. Let me continue. The way that they’ve deceived people here.


MCDOWELL: You and your left-wing progressive diet that you’re peddling.

WATTER: This is what this is like what they did. This is the scam. This is like when some 50-year-old woman with obvious plastic surgery tells you she’s 25 and she has never been under the knife. Tutto ok. That is taking someone for a fool. It’s clear she’s been under the knife. It’s clear she’s not 20 Anni.

That’s what that chart is. Tutto ok? The other thing is, pure, so when the price of oil and gasoline was going up a $ 1.50 in the first what, nine months of the Biden administration, Biden said he couldn’t control energy prices. So then in two weeks it goes down $ 0.02 e lui va, that was me, ragazzi.

PERINO: sì, Esattamente.

WATTER: Così, intendo, can you control it or not?

BUON CAMPO: E anche, what is so idiotic about bragging about the decline in gas prices is it’s related to supply. Così, if you’re in favor of increasing the supply of oil, then you should be in favor of pumping as much as this nation possibly can.


MCDOWELL: That’s what doesn’t makes sense.

PERINO: Hai ragione. That’s why they’re basically, it’s like they cannibalize their own policy.


PERINO: Because they were like, we want to have high gas prices because then you want to buy electric vehicles, but electricity is also expensive. ok. Così, now we want OPEC to pump more so that we can have lower gas prices. And it’s like a vicious cycle.

BUON CAMPO: Cannibalization, now there’s a


WATTER: intendo, they are very thin.

BUON CAMPO: You don’t see a fat cannibal at all.

TARLOV: I was just going to say to Greg’s point, I think it’s great now that people actually in polls look at the cross tabs and they see what group has been over sampled and make their own conclusions. And now that we have


PERINO: You’re speaking as language.

WATTER: This is how I know you guys rigged all those polls, because I looked at the cross tabs. And you oversample Democrats like 15 punti percentuali.

TARLOV: Bene, we won.

WATTER: No, but remember the poll in Wisconsin? Trump was going to lose by 17 punti. Dai. ABC/Washington Post I don’t forget.


PERINO: How about Ciattarelli in New Jersey?

WATTER: Un altro —


WATTER: — poll rigging extravaganza.

MCDOWELL: sì. And if a 50-year-old is getting a face-lift, she’s really 70, così. And she’s never going to tell you she looks 25. Because she won’t. She would look like she has a face-lift.

Avanti il ​​prossimo. Io non — I’m not speaking from my experience. No remorse you won’t believe who Alec Baldwin is blaming for that tragic movie set accident.


PERINO: Alec Baldwin not taking any responsibility for the death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins after accidentally shooting her on a movie set. Baldwin continues to insist he didn’t even pull the trigger and is even pinning blame on the victim.


ALEC BALDWIN, ATTORE: Everything is in her direction. She is guiding me through how she wants me to hold the gun for this angle.

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS, CHIEF ANCHOR, NOTIZIE ABC: But there some say you’re never supposed to point a gun at anyone on a set no matter what.

BALDWIN: Well unless the person is the cinematographer who is directing me where to point the gun for her camera angle. I cock the gun and go, can see that, can you see that, can you see that? And I was like I let go of the hammer of the gun and the gun goes off.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Do you feel guilty?

BALDWIN: No. No. I feel that there isI feel thatthat someone is responsible for what happened, and I can’t say who that is but I know it’s not me.


PERINO (sulla fotocamera): I hated everything about that interview, Dagen. And one of the things I really disliked about it is that, sai, I’ll just speak for myself, but I felt very empathetic towards him and defended him and thought well, this is so terrible. And then to watch him a month later basically disassemble everything that we witnessed with our own eyes and that we knew and trying to convince us that he has nothing to do with it is pitiful.

MCDOWELL: He tried to act like the victim.


MCDOWELL: Alec Baldwin is not the victim. And he clearly didn’t do that interview to make Halyna Hutchinsfamily feel better. He did it to burnish his reputation and put a shine on his image and maybe get ahead of the future legal wrangling over her death.

I didn’t think he could possibly come across like a bigger narcissist or a bigger egomaniacal monster. The man who called his daughter a pig when she was young on a voice mail message. The rage machine. But somehow, egli fece.

But Hollywood is watching this. Reading the comments on social media about is very telling.


MCDOWELL: He is a festering boil on the neck of Hollywood and he will be lanced at some point figuratively in the very near future. Onestamente, I ask a career (Inaudible) of this.

PERINO: He indicated that, Jessica, he basically said well, maybe my career is over. Ma tu sai, at the same time blaming the cinematographer who was the very woman who got shot and died.

TARLOV: And at the same time said that when she sawwhen he saw her husband that they embraced and talked out how they are both going through something. He made sure to say what you’re going through is worse. sì, sì.


TARLOV: You lost your wife and your son has no childhas no mother anymore. I found it all very strange. We talked yesterday about doing this as a dramatic interview was a mistake. Because it undoes any of the emotions that we thought that he was having after the event.

Sai, he just put out a very short Twitter statement a couple of days latest that just said absolutely in shock, destroyed over this. And he is clearly courting public opinion now because he said in the interview that he’s been assured that he’s not going to be charged with anything.

No one is going to like that interview. I doubt if he watched it back, he would even like that interview. And I don’t know if he just got ahead ofahead of his skisout over his skis, —


TARLOV: — whatever the saying is and just went with it because he was feeling powerful at that moment because he is back on TV and he was being interviewed by someone powerful. But it does not read well.

PERINO: Così, Non lo so, that nobody will like the interview. I was listening to NPR this morning, Jesse, before I came to work.

WATTER: Were you, Dana?

PERINO: And it was 5.45 in the morning looking at my watch to check. And there’s a reporter telling his audience what happened on the interview and at the end he tells the host, I believe this was a master class in how to answer a lot of questions, to protect yourself, to advance a story. It was basically like saying what a great job Alec Baldwin did.

WATTER: I’m getting texts from family members not my mother, conservative family members who think that Alec was the real deal, he was genuinely upset.


WATTER: And I don’t see it that way. I see him acting as a lawyer instead of a human being. He probably should have just cried for an hour and said I’m sorry for an hour instead of getting up there like he was testifying under cross.

It made no sense a few times when he said, bene, I never checked the gun to see if it’s hot, and then he says he stays up at night because he can’t sleep because he is always thinking about what he could have done differently. Bene, he could have checked the gun. Because that’s what Clooney said.

Clooney came out and said we always check the gun to see if it’s hot. And Stephanopoulos hit him with the Clooney line and go, good for him. Good for him. That was not the right thing to say.

PERINO: Gross.

WATTER: And then to say he acted like he never heard anything was going on the set, people were walking off because there was an accidental discharge.


WATTER: People were walking off because of bad conditions.

PERINO: Can I show that? Così, we have this part of the interview. This is a quite unbelievable what he said happened immediately afterwards.


BALDWIN: She goes down. I thought to myself, did she faint? The notion that there was a live round in that gun did not dawn on me till probably 45 minutes to an hour later.


PERINO: I mean that’s obviously checkable.

BUON CAMPO: sì. Ma anche — intendo, siamo — as we’re listening to this, we’re going like, what the hellwho made the decision about the music


BUON CAMPO: — as if that music is necessary to tell this story. And it tells you the obvious thing that this isn’t journalism, it’s choreography.


BUON CAMPO: It’s been a month, destra, 30 giorni. That’s not journalism. He camethis has been fabricated or manufactured with the help of ABC and George Stephanopoulos. The music, the tension, everything there is designed to help him out.

The argument itself, if it actually — sai, it takes hold in the public consciousness, how many people are going to use this? Piace, the gun went off, the gun went off, the gun went off. And everybody knows that’s impossible. È impossibile.

This could have been — sai, I hate to use the phrase, a teachable moment on gun safety. Anziché, it’s like completely the opposite. This is like — è come, I just pointI didn’t pointI pointed the gun and it just went off. It’s just like, this isn’t possible. È impossibile, but that’s Baldwin’s defense.

And if it actually becomes commonplace, then you’re going toyou will see more and more and more. Ancora, I go back toI’ve said this a million times. If they hadn’t demonized the NRA, the NRA could have been on these sets. You can’t — intendo, you could have benefited from the instruction and the supervision. Ma invece, you demonized a group that probably could have saved that person’s life. Ma invece, it’s just more important to be politically correct than it is to be safe.

WATTER: Buon punto.

PERINO: You’re right aboutwe’ll see if anybody comes up with the Alec Baldwin defense.


PERINO: It will be

MCDOWELL: Can I add though to your point? Maureen Callahan in the New York Post today, she was interviewing a gun safety expert from the movies and said why didn’tand raise the issue, why didn’t George Stephanopoulos just simply ask him if you had to put that gun to your head, would you have checked it?

WATTER: Oh, questa è una bella domanda.


PERINO: Oh, great question.

MCDOWELL: Ma ancora — but this was ait was a layup. And it wasit was a show just like his wife and thehis fake Spanish wife, Hilaria, and the show they put on in Vermont after well, he killed the DP on his film.

PERINO: Tutto ok, in arrivo, the Jussie Smollett trial getting very close to a verdict after new damning evidence against the actor. We’ll be right back.


TARLOV: A verdict in the Jussie Smollett fake hate crime trial could come as soon as Monday. The prosecution resting its case but not before revealing more damning evidence against the actor. The state star witness, the Osundairo brothers testifying Smollette wanted the staged attack to be captured on video so that the media would amplify the alleged hate crime.

And a Chicago Police Officer saying on the stand that Smollett was upset when he was told that the incident was not captured by a nearby camera. The defense cross-examined the brothers and tried to paint them as homophobic and fame-hungry.

ok, sì, a lot of whoa. Greg, so the defense had to say something.


WATTER: È un buon punto.

TARLOV: Così, they went with this and also asked for a mistrial.

BUON CAMPO: sì, and cried.

TARLOV: And there was some crying.

BUON CAMPO: There was some crying. How awful is this guy that he’s actually repeating the same hoax on two other people? Così, ricorda, this whole thing started branding imaginary white people as racist attacking him late at night. That fell apart. Così, adesso, he’s using the same kind of strategy on these two Nigerians. Adesso, he’s saying that this is actually kind of a hate crime, a homophobic crime that they’re exacting on him.

And he’s doing — intendo, he’s likehe’s like, I’m going to tryit didn’t work the first time, I’m going to do it again. If you believe this – – if you believe this guy, you’re a scum. intendo, you’re justbottom line you’re scum because heI have sympathy for the Nigerian brothers because I just have this feeling that they didn’t know what they got into.

PERINO: Destra.

BUON CAMPO: They’re just like — sai, they’re not from this country, they want to getthey want to be, sai, friends with this powerful actor. They do anything he said. E adesso, he’s just likehe’s just doinghe’s a psychopath.


BUON CAMPO: He’s a sociopath. He doesn’t care who he hurts.

PERINO: He’ll destroy anybody.


TARLOV: E così, he’s gone as far as to say or his attorneys have that they were doing this because they got rejected for personal security jobs which they said no. And there’s text messages for everything.

BUON CAMPO: sì, and the dry run.

PERINO: Anche — e voglio dire, io — the other thing that the defense did is that they started attacking the judge.

TARLOV: Destra.

PERINO: Saying that the judge was giving them dirty looks and

TARLOV: Bad face.

PERINO: sì. And that that was going to taint the jury. I feel so sorry for this jury. Imagine having — prima di tutto, you have to disrupt your whole life to serve as a public servant. You got to go in there and you have to sit there with a straight face and actually try to believe this or at least listen to it.

Imagine when they go into the jury room for deliberations. Piace, do you think that they’ll just sit there and go, how long do we wait? How long do we have to sit in here before we can just go in there and say obviously, this is nonsense. I feel sorry for them.

TARLOV: Suo — it should be short definitely. I think by Tuesday there

PERINO: And then the Osundairo brothers should sue Smollett’s lawyer for slander.

TARLOV: That seems like it could happen, a feasible route after all of this. Così, looping this back to what we were talking about in your block to lead off the show, 3000 hours of police work went into this. What are the repercussions of that when we have these larger discussions about what’s going on in terms of being understaffed places and how can we do better?

WATTER: sì, you don’t stage a fake hate crime hoax in the murder capital of the United States.

TARLOV: Bene, I think you do.

WATTER: They have a lot of other things to do besides chase down this stupid guy. intendo, they say he’s not going to spend any time if convicted. He should, anche se. And I hope the judge who I hear as a straight-shooting judge does give him a little jail time.

The judge’s wife is a Trump supporter, she’s a Trump donor, so you know this guy’s a good guy. E —

BUON CAMPO: Ben fatto.

WATTER: There is another thing too. Oprah tried to get added jury duty with this judge and the judge says no. Just because you’re Oprah, doesn’t mean you get to skip jury duties.

BUON CAMPO: Bene, I like this judge.

WATTER: sì, I like this judge already. Così, when I started joining Greg and our life of crime together, there are a lot of lessons to be learned here. You don’t stage a dry run for a crime at the scene of the crime.


WATTER: You don’t bribe somebody with a check. You don’t accuse someone of being a homophobe when there’s pictures of them marching in a gay pride parade, destra? You don’t say you got beat up by two bodybuilders and then only show a scratch on your arm to the police, destra?

There’s so many things you don’t do, but he did all of them. He did all of them. He actually put three hate crimes into one. He got the bleach, he got the noose, he got the assault. Pick one.

BUON CAMPO: voglio —

WATTER: He could havehe could have just had one.

BUON CAMPO: I want to see Stephanopoulos do that interview with the music, sai.

WATTER: Some people said.

BUON CAMPO: I’m sure they’re friends.


TARLOV: But they did. They had the doctor who examined him on the stand who said yes, he was punched and kicked but he came in with like, light abrasions.


BUON CAMPO: sì. Beat him up but don’t beat him up — in realtà, don’t beat him up but rub him up.

TARLOV: Not the face.

BUON CAMPO: sì, not the face.

WATTER: Not the face.

PERINO: No, not the face.

WATTER: That’s what I tell the twins, not to face.

MCDOWELL: And to add to your list, if you’re going to enter a life of crime, don’t announce it to the world before you do it.

WATTER: Destra.

MCDOWELL: Questo — the general rule is don’t lie to law enforcement, don’t lie to cops. Lo odiano. You have them chasing your tail, they’ll come for you. They’re going to get you back. You lie to federal investigators, that’s itself is a crime. Why’d they go after Martha Stewart? She wound up in the clink for a (INCOMPRENSIBILE) for like five months just for lying.

But they willthey will punish you and they will come for you. It is just that simple. It’s unfortunateI would have loved to have been on this jury because mostlymost of the time it’s so dry. This is an episode of Law and Order.

PERINO: sì, that’s fair.

BUON CAMPO: It’s not well-written.


MCDOWELL: Esattamente. And too bad it isn’twasn’t broadcast so Jussie Smollett could have one last starring role.

WATTER: È vero.

BUON CAMPO: He can play himself.

MCDOWELL: Esattamente. Questo è tutto.

TARLOV: Tutto ok, “FAN MAIL FRIDAYis up next.



BUON CAMPO: Tutto ok, “FAN MAIL FRIDAY.Let’s get to it. What childish thingthis is from Larkwhat childish thing do you still do as an adult? That’s a pretty good question. Let’s start with you, Dana.

PERINO: Bene, I’m thinking I was like — Non lo so. Sai, remember Smarties?


PERINO: I had three of those today.

WATTER: Oh, tre.

PERINO: I took them from my assistant’s desk.

BUON CAMPO: Three little Smarties or three packages.

PERINO: Packages.

BUON CAMPO: Wow. That’s a lot. You’re going to be hanging on the ceiling like Lionel Richie. Was that Dancing on the Ceiling? Jesse, you dance in the ceiling.

WATTER: Go to someone else. I want to thinkI know there’s something.

BUON CAMPO: Oh, you can’t do itthis isn’t password. You can’t — tu non sei (INCOMPRENSIBILE).

WATTER: Childish?

TARLOV: I’m happy to bail you out, Jesse, since you don’t have a good answer.

BUON CAMPO: What is yours?

WATTER: Don’t rub it in.

TARLOV: Oh, I don’t know if my answer is good. Ma tu sai, how when you’re young you have favorite things that you just wear every single day and you demand that you get to. I still go throughnot just because of my increased size, ma — and I only have like five things that fit me right now, but I do that.


TARLOV: Sono come, this is the week of polka dot T-shirt.

PERINO: What’s the thing?

TARLOV: It can be anything.

BUON CAMPO: sì, Esattamente.

TARLOV: But it happens all the time.



MCDOWELL: Garanimals. Armpit poops.

BUON CAMPO: Ooh, that’s fun.

MCDOWELL: I can’t really do it with a suit jacket on but I did that for a friend of mine the other day to make them laugh. I’m really good at it.

BUON CAMPO: I hear that

MCDOWELL: I can even do songs.

BUON CAMPO: I hear that’s the number one strategy to get on “RELAZIONE SPECIALE.” It is to make fart noises with your armpit. Tutto ok, Jesse, we’ve waited long enough.

WATTER: Non lo so. I can’t think of anything. But the only thing that comes close, I eat the peanut butter out ofI eat peanut butter with a spoon out of the tub.

TARLOV: Oh, sì.

BUON CAMPO: That’s interesting.

WATTER: È questo — is that childish?

BUON CAMPO: No, but I’ll tellyou know what’s childish? Io sono 57 and I bite my nails to the freaking bones.

WATTER: sì, giusto. You shouldn’t do that.

BUON CAMPO: Oh mio Dio. Guarda questo. Look at the hangnails I got. sì, and I got a wart. I got a wart that I just keep like scratching at.

WATTER: You’ve had that for a while.

BUON CAMPO: I’ve had that for a while. I think it actually has its own brain and it’s telling me things. Tutto ok, what’s the next question? Oh, I love this one Bobfrom Bob Harvey. What is your home town famous for? Jesse?

WATTER: Bene, the city of Brotherly Love, but that’s not what we’re famous for.


WATTER: It’s mostly just for like real kind of like horrible fans and like roughnecks people.


PERINO: What about the sandwiches?

WATTER: The hoagies and cheesesteaks for sure.

BUON CAMPO: sì, sì.

WATTER: But just really bad fans.

BUON CAMPO: sì, è vero. You got Philly soul. Hey, Hall and Oates, aren’t they from Philadelphia?

PERINO: Che dire — what about the liberty bell?

BUON CAMPO: That’s cracked.

WATTER: Bene, I don’t thinkthat’s cracked. Send it back.

BUON CAMPO: Send it back. Waiter, this bell is cracked. Dagen?

MCDOWELL: Patrick Henry’s last home and burial place is in my hometown. Red Hill, please visit it. And Charles Haley who is a member of the football hall of fame who won five Super Bowls, grew up right near

BUON CAMPO: 49ers, 49ers.

MCDOWELL: And the Cowboys, and the Cowboys.

WATTER: Cowboys too.

BUON CAMPO: sì, but he was a 49er first.

MCDOWELL: Corretta. sì, he was a 40 — sì, corretta, GG.

BUON CAMPO: Grazie. sì. I know my 49ers. Jessica, did I go to you yet.



TARLOV: Bagels and pizza.

BUON CAMPO: Ah, New York City.

TARLOV: sì, those are good ones.

BUON CAMPO: sì. I’m glad you didn’t use the nationalities like you did in the rehearsal. Dana.

PERINO: A Denver, Colorado the Unsinkable Molly Brown lived there.

BUON CAMPO: Veramente? Chi è lei?

WATTER: Aspettare, that’s what Denver is known for?

PERINO: Bene, intendo, I’m just trying to think of something interesting. Ovviamente, the Broncos

WATTER: The altitude.

PERINO: And skiing.

BUON CAMPO: My hometown

WATTER: The beer.

BUON CAMPO: My hometown

PERINO: The beer?

WATTER: Rocky mountains.

BUON CAMPO: — is known for me, me. San Mateo, I am the best thing to ever come out of San Mateo. Sure there was Barry Bostwick who was in Rocky Horror.


BUON CAMPO: But I’m bigger than that. Tom Brady, San Mateo, bigger.


BUON CAMPO: Bigger. There’s some otherwho are famous peopleI think Bruce Springsteen lived in San Mateo.

PERINO: What about thewhat about the cheater?

BUON CAMPO: Oh, Barry Bonds. sì, Barry Bonds. You sit on my Spanish class.

PERINO: Bigger.

BUON CAMPO: Bigger, although his head is huge for some reason.

WATTER: So is yours.

BUON CAMPO: sì, mio. What would be the hardest thing to give up? Oh should I stop? No? ok, velocemente. Hardest thing to give up.


BUON CAMPO: Cani? Jesse?

WATTER: Chocolate.

TARLOV: caramella.



BUON CAMPO: You just took my answer. I’m going to say, beneficenza.

PERINO: sì, ok.

BUON CAMPO: She’s a stripper downtown.




WATTER: It’s time now forONE MORE THING.We found the woman with the biggest lips in the world.

BUON CAMPO: Oh, geez.

PERINO: Oh, ragazzo.

WATTER: Check this girl out Andrea Ivanova. Lei è 24. She’s hoping to make her lips even bigger with her 27th injection for this Christmas.

BUON CAMPO: Why are we doing this?

WATTER: No supply chain issue there.


WATTER: We support Andrea though?

BUON CAMPO: No, we don’t.

WATTER: Speaking of support, support me on Tucker tonight. I’m hosting at 8:00 Orientale, so watch that. Anche, supporto “WATTER’ WORLD” Sabato, 8:00 Orientale. We have Don Jr. Leader della minoranza Kevin McCarthy, soon-to-be Speaker McCarthy, Dana Loesch, and Raymond Arroyo. It’s what we call a loaded show, right Greg?

BUON CAMPO: And you’re going to be loaded. Sai, my show tonight is amazing. You know who’s on? This lady, Dana Perino. Alan West, he’s running for Texas governor. Vivek is on. I’m not going to ruin his last name. Adam Carolla is on, Kat Timpf. It’s great. You got to watch it, 11:00 p.m. Adesso, let’s do this.

Sai, I was in New Jersey the other day and I couldn’t believe it. I look out and what’s coming up the street. I see John Kerry just drivingriding a little bicycle, heading up the street.

WATTER: It’s a tree.

BUON CAMPO: Eccolo. Eccolo. He’s incredible. I didn’t know that he could actually ride a bike. He’s so stiff. But there he is John Kerry, our climate czar on his way probably to, sai, get some carbon offsets. Comunque —

WATTER: Bene, he shouldn’t be riding a bike. The last time he rode a bike, he fell off and broke his leg.

PERINO: Broke his leg. Bene, arm, destra?

BUON CAMPO: Questo è vero. Sai cosa?

WATTER: Something.

BUON CAMPO: Godspeed.

WATTER: Godspeed.

TARLOV: It took me awhile. I almost said, you guys, I can’t really make out.

BUON CAMPO: I wanted you to believe it. Dagen.

MCDOWELL: More Christmas spirit and a great gift idea. Shawn and Rachel Duffy’s book highlighting all — Greg, don’t roll your eyes. Oh, mio Dio. All American Christmas has been on the New York Times bestseller list for two straight weeks. It’s a number one Christmas book this year, great stories from the fox family.

More Christmas spirit, Fox Nation All-American tree lighting this weekend, although it seems to be lit already. Steve Doocy, Ainsley Earhardt, and Brian Kilmeade light the tree. We highlight Fox Nation specials for Christmas that are coming up. Suo — I say we, I’m not there. Piace, I got canceled on Jesse and I didn’t get invited to the tree lighting.


MCDOWELL: That’s Sunday — sì.

BUON CAMPO: There’s no such thing as Fox family.

MCDOWELL: sì, Non sono — I’m just

BUON CAMPO: Whenever a company says you’re part of the family, that means they’re going to pay you less.

MCDOWELL: sì, I get jettisoned because I’m the family member who does the armpit poops at dinner. 10:00 p.m. Domenica.

BUON CAMPO: sì. I don’t want to be in a family. Just give me more money. That’s my slogan.

WATTER: That’s a good slogan.

PERINO: Great slogan.


PERINO: I just want to show you something that I thought was so cute. This is Stan. And he is an amazing young dog. This is my assistant, Caroline Sherwood. This is her puppy. They live in North Carolina. And he just did not want to go. E poi, Sandra, the mom, she’s just trying so hard to get him to go. But if you have a big dog like that that doesn’t want to go, you’re not going anywhere very fast. Così, good for Stan.

WATTER: Awesome. It’s fun to jump in a leaf pile, destra?

BUON CAMPO: It sure is, Jesse.

TARLOV: I do it all the time.

BUON CAMPO: It sure is.

WATTER: Isn’t that nice?

BUON CAMPO: sì, it is nice.

WATTER: Jump right in the leaf pile.

BUON CAMPO: Jump in the leaf pile? sì.

WATTER: It brings you back, non è vero?

TARLOV: This is how you guys are burning towntime here.

WATTER: Back in San Mateo?


WATTER: Jumping in high leaf piles for you.


WATTER: What did you find in a leaf pike?

BUON CAMPO: Who didn’t I find?

WATTER: Brady?

TARLOV: No, they’ll get to like 40, and they’ll say, Oh, Jessica, you’re here.

WATTER: What have you got?

TARLOV: ok, incredibile. dashcam footage from Chicago shows a car being wedged under a truck

PERINO: Oh, my gosh.

TARLOV: — after attempting to make a lane change. The driver was a 19- year-old woman who remained incredibly calm during the whole ordeal, signaling out to theout the window to fellow drivers that she needed help.

The man who recorded the video managed to get the driver to pull over, obviously shocked at what he had discovered under his truck. Best part, no wasn’t injured at all. I have driven a lot around Chicago. I cannot imagine

MCDOWELL: Listening to Nugent too loud, you don’t know a car is stuck in your truck.

BUON CAMPO: That’s what it is, music too loud.


BUON CAMPO: Questo è esattamente quello che è.

WATTER: That’s what happened to me.

BUON CAMPO: sì, lo so.

WATTER: Music was to loud, I would up under a truck.


WATTER: That’s it for us. We’ll see you back here on Monday, tutti.

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