SANDRA SMITH, FOX NUUSGASheer: Terloops, President Biden leaving for Camp David earlier this hour. He just arrived there, we are told, and he will be meeting with his national security team as tensions between Russia and Ukraine escalate. Complete coverage on Cavuto Live at 10 am. Eastern Time tomorrow. Thanks so much for joining us. You can catch me weekdays, America Reports one o’clock in the afternoon. And now here is THE FIVE.
JESSE WATTERS, FOX NUUSGASheer: Hallo, almal. I’m Jesse Watters along with Greg Gutfeld, Gillian Turner, Harold Ford, Jr.. and Dagen McDowell. It’s five o’clock in New York City, and this is THE FIVE.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JEN PSAKI, WITHUIS PERSSEKRETARIS: My advice to everyone out there who is frustrated, hartseer, kwaad, pissed off, feel those emotions, go to kickboxing class, have a margarita, do whatever you need to do this weekend, and then wake up on Monday morning we got to keep fighting.
(EINDE VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: It’s been a doozy of a week for the Biden White House after Joe bombed during his one-year news conference. So, the White House has a new plan. The president will take a backseat on trying to pass his agenda that the country hates, and instead, Joe is going to go on tour to try to convince Americans to like him again.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PSAKI: It’s a reflection of how he wants to spend his time, and his recognition that he wants to spend more time out in the country and less time behind closed doors negotiating.
It’s a reflection of how our own — of his view, which we share — of how he can best use his time, and there is nothing more valuable than the president’s time.
(EINDE VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: but Joe may need to lend some of his delusional confidence to his V.P. after Kamala Harris summed up their first year in this less than inspiring way.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
KAMALA HARRIS, VICE PRESIDENT VAN DIE VERENIGDE STATE: The first year of the Biden/Harris administration, it is a time that is defined, a time that is defined by uncertainty. The people on this Zoom have been steadfast. And you have never stopped believing in what is possible and, in our work, to achieve that future together.
(EINDE VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: And don’t you dare question Biden about his shaky policies, or he will give you a stern talking to.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JACQUI HEINRICH, FOX NUUS KORRESPONDENT: Why are you waiting on Putin to make the first move?
JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT VAN DIE VERENIGDE STATE: What a stupid question.
(EINDE VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: Biden’s first year has been such a bust that even Time magazine put out this very special cover to commemorate his time in the Oval Office, but all it does is remind people how bleak the last year has been.
So, Greg, jy weet, you’ve just got to have a drink, you got to go to kickboxing class. Isn’t that obvious?
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NUUSGASheer: She is my kind of lady. When you are faced with serial — serious problems, resort to violence and booze. Beat someone up, perhaps a stranger, get loaded, marry me, you red devil. She is the — she is the best thing about this administration.
ek bedoel, just compare to how she was speaking to the vice president, reg? Dis soos, there is just no — there is no competition. But I think that Sally Field strategy for President Biden, not going to work. Goed so? Jy weet, it’s not this – dit is nie — we’ve come to the conclusion that less is more with Joe. Wildly popular when he was chained to the rusted Peloton bike, or Soloflex — got to get my analogies straight — in the basement.
And then when he came out of the basement, the numbers dropped. So, you don’t actually want to push him out. Here’s a better path for Joe if it’s not too late. Stand up to the woke. Stir your party away from the progressive abyss, and once and for all burn your race card.
Because every time you play the race card, you may forget about it, but we all remember it. Reg? ek bedoel, he doesn’t remember the things he says about this person and that person. But in this case, we do remember. The idea of him getting out of D.C. to make everybody feel good, ek bedoel, it’s just going to be like a back rub bus tour, or is it going to be like a –is it going to be like boxcar Biden with magic fingers on a train?
Dit is net — all it’s going to do is it’s just going to remind you that the guy that was before him wasn’t so bad. Biden has been a real boom for Trump. Because we all got a four year — we are getting a break to look back and go wow, the orange Godzilla. Ja, he did a lot of good stuff. You he did all right. He got — he was able to quell like North Korea. We had those Middle East peace accords. We had a vaccine. We have an explosive economy before COVID.
He was the first me — verskoon my, I spit. He is the first guy to really go off on China. And then everybody had to catch up with him. So, jy weet, so we had this break. It’s really benefit — benefited Trump, but it’s also the Republican Party. Reg? They are like, they are suddenly the popular kid at the party, and they haven’t done anything yet.
So, my advice to them is don’t get cocky. And instead of doing politics, think about the people. The issues are there. Jy het — you got crime! You got inflation! You got food prices, you got schools, you got freedom. ek bedoel, hou op om politiek te speel, Republikeine, help the people. Then they win. That’s my advice.
WATTERS: Can we — can we get Friday Greg the whole week, or do we just have to get him on Friday?
GOEIE VELD: Ek, jy weet, I just want to go to a bar. OK? Everybody is out. My staff is already across the street drinking, and I’m sitting here in my studio all by myself staring at Harold Ford which, Terloops, makes me a very lucky man.
GILLIAN TURNER, FOX NUUS KORRESPONDENT: So, I have reached out to the White House for comments —
TURNER: — on Greg’s marriage proposal for the press secretary, I will let you know as soon as she gets back.
GOEIE VELD: Ja. It would be polygamous.
WATTERS: OK. So, Gillian, does Greg’s strategy sound plausible, or do you think Joe getting into the country, like every president says they are going to do, I got to get out of the White House. Do you think that has a better chance of resuscitating him?
TURNER: ek bedoel, the president keeps saying over and over, he said at this press conference two days ago that his biggest big kahuna problem right now is the Republican Party. It’s opposition to his party. He says Republicans are blocking his build back legislation, they are blocking his voting rights legislation, he says conservatives at the Supreme Court are blocking his mask mandate.
But the reality for the president is that his party is in charge of the White House, die Senaat, die huis. He is never going to have a smoother path forward for implementing his agenda than he has right now today.
Just checking my e-mail we’ve heard back from Jen Psaki, she says a lot of hope, but no chance.
WATTERS: A striking out as always, Mnr. Gutfeld.
TURNER: Ek is jammer.
GOEIE VELD: Thank God I’m married.
WATTERS: Ja. ek bedoel, not that it matters these days.
TURNER: That’s always have to fall back on.
WATTERS: Dit is reg. Goed so. Harold Ford, Jr., you know what this sounds like when the president says I’m going to get out in the country and get out of the White House? It sounds like he’s just going to go to more fund-raisers. Isn’t that what this is all about? Raise more money and try to stem the losses in the midterms?
HAROLD FORD, JR., FOX NUUS bydraer: Wel, I think that stemming the losses is certainly the — probably the focus, and maybe the motivation for it, but I think successful presidents never try to get in front of the people or behind the people. They try to meet people and walk alongside them.
FORD: We’ve had presidents in the past that have gone through turbulence. Uiteraard, Reagan did. He had one point was in the mid-30s and his administration, then in 1982 he came back and won. Clinton was in the high 30s, he came back and won. But Obama was at 42 when Obamacare passed, he came back and won. Trump was at 39 and he didn’t come back and win, and Carter found himself in the ’40s and he didn’t come back and win.
I think you have to look back if I were President Biden, you look back at those teams and you figure out what did to do. And this is where — this is where Greg was right. You have to focus on where people are. Crime is the issue that has to be focused on in so many communities across the country. I was pleased to see Bragg —
TURNER: And the economy.
FORD: — Jy wil nie deel wees van hierdie geweld nie. Bragg here in New York today — let me get back to that. But I think crime on my — eerstens, the economy is not doing as bad as some would suggest, we’ve got to figure out how we get to the supply chain clog, but crime is an issue that you can lose on.
Clinton lost in ’94, the crime bill and crime itself hurt him in many ways. So, the crime, and to your point, Gillian, die ekonomie, meaning inflation and the supply chain and the border. And I thought I was glad to hear the president the other day in his remarks in his press conference say that he’s going to be president now and not try to be a committee chairman in the Senate or a majority leader. Leave that to the legislative branch.
En uiteindelik, Mnr. President, it’s best to be like a great cornerback or like Ted Lasso who say you forget that last play. Forget what happened over those last few months and move forward. Find ways to solve problems. Don’t just do the same thing.
I’m pleased to see him get into the country. He should have been in Ohio today with the intel chief as they announce that $ 20 billion investment to build semiconductor chips in America. We ought to identify other cities that can be innovation hubs as well. That’s what I would do if I were in that White House, and I think the president is trying as hard to do that.
GOEIE VELD: Eendag, Harold! One-day! With me as your speechwriter, we are going places.
TURNER: To the bad.
WATTERS: That would be the first thing I didn’t do. Goed so, Dagen. Is there going to be a Biden comeback, or is the writing on the wall?
DAGEN MCDOWELL, FOX NEWS BUSINESS CORRESPONDENT: Geen, there is going to be no Biden come back, because he has been fully indoctrinated by the far left, and he is not changing course. Going out and seeing people is just trying to convince the rubes and the deplorables that everything is actually great. He is not changing course because he can’t see the failures that have developed from his policy.
He goes out and thinks everything is OK. And as evidence of that, Terloops, anywhere Biden goes in this country except maybe New York City, and even here, he is going to get booed. And that kind of makes me feel good on the inside. I don’t know why, but I like when people, jy weet, suffer in public. Just a little bit.
WATTERS: Sjoe. You should hang out with me.
MCDOWELL: But just one quick thing. The most stunning thing for me from that press conference was Joe Biden talking about getting more advice from outside experts, —
MCDOWELL: — from academia to editorial writers and think tanks. There’s are fanatical jack jaws that he is going to for advice, and lo and behold, what are we already starting to hear? L.A. Times editorial, CNN headline, price controls. The government needs to implement price controls because we don’t have enough shortages right now. We really want to kill businesses and have not just your grocery store shelves empty, but Home Depot, Lowes, you name it. You are not going to be able to find anything. So, I think Joe Biden is not changing, except maybe for the worse.
WATTERS: Ja, I’d fire the experts if I were Joe Biden. Goed so. We’ve got to go. We’ve got to hurry up to kickboxing and drinks. So, let’s get moving. Volgende, Democrats literally forced to clean up the mad max style crime insanity that their policies have unleashed.
GILLIAN: Liberal leaders are speaking out now about a surge in violent crime. President Biden met today with big city mayors and talk about what to do about the problem, he also pledged a whole more money for the police departments.
Intussen, California’s Governor, that’s Gavin Newsom, rolled up his sleeves and started picking up trash right off of the train tracks, this after an explosion in train robberies has left L.A. littered with discarded packages.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GOV. GAVIN NUUS (D-CA): It looked like a third world country, these images. The drone images that were on the nightly news. How do we make sure we don’t have to keep coming back? How do we secure the site? How do we do a better job of making sure that this does not have to continue to happen? This is the supply chain. I know all of us are focused down on the water it’s so damn beautiful and everybody is just focused on containers at the ports, the supply chain.
(EINDE VIDEO CLIP)
TURNER: While promising to crack down on crime, the Democratic governor also was very careful with his words. Luister gerus.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
NUUSOM: This is organized theft. These are organized gangs of people that are coming — and forgive me for saying gangs. I know that that — that’s not a pejorative. They are organized groups of folks that move from site to site.
(EINDE VIDEO CLIP)
TURNER: Wel, Greg, you heard the governor there. He said all these robberies are making his state look bad. He also says it is a supply chain problem, a supply chain problem. Is that why all the grocery store shelves are empty again?
GOEIE VELD: Eerste, I just want to say it’s good to see you back after becoming a birthing person, Gillian.
GOEIE VELD: I trust — I trust you have not picked the gender yet you are waiting for the right time.
TURNER: So, we are going to leave it up to you. Dankie.
GOEIE VELD: So, that’s why I’ve decided — and I will let you know in a gender reveal. Jy weet, what was he just talking about that he is apologizing for saying gang?
GOEIE VELD: Like he afraid that he was insulting the criminals. Jy weet, these gangs, wag, roving criminals. ek bedoel, that was bizarre. So why did it take so long for Democrats to prioritize crime when it was — when Americans were suffering for almost two years? Why did they choose to chase the voting bill, or climate — their climate agenda?
Dis eenvoudig. Because you can’t chase a problem that everyone knows you caused. Reg? It’s like saying crime is out of control, as a progressive Democrat, everybody looks at you and go, wel, it’s not on you. So, they have to avoid it, ook, hul — who they consider adversaries, which should be people like us on Fox or Republicans, this is a really key issue for them.
En so, the Democrats can’t be seen like agreeing with us, because that would be betrayal. So, they would rather pick a stupid stance, jy weet, like bailing out looters, reg? Or no cash bail than actually common sense, because the common sense is aligned other people.
So, they kind of despise us more than they despise the thugs, so that’s why the thugs are out there. Newsom should repeal a bunch of those laws that allow people to shoplift like $ 900 worth of crap. That would be a start, instead of this symbolic — this symbolic virtue signaling that he does outside. This is not a practical solution what he is doing. This is for us to do segments, and it worked.
TURNER: Harold, I’m going to come to you next to respond, want dit is u volk. So, in the span of two days, we had Nancy Pelosi saying, jy weet, crime is my number one issue, then the president says I want to give police departments more money. What gives?
FORD: So, I think we should be careful not to frame this in a partisan way. The cities of Miami, Jacksonville, Tulsa, Fort Worth all have Republican mayors, and some of those have Republican governors, but I wouldn’t dare call this something that they want or are enabling.
I do think Greg is right too, in the extent when he says that the Democrats have not come out strong enough. Some of our rank and file around defunding, and some of our rank and file around some of this cash bail reform. I would hope that every D.A., and every police chief, and a lot of Democratic police chiefs and a lot of Democratic mayors including Eric Adams who I would argue is probably to the right of President Biden on some of these issues. And perhaps, some of the mainstream talk in my party around what to do and how to prosecute crime.
But one thing is clear. No Black American, no Democrat that I socialize with and I am one, wil hê — wants high crime rates, wants high homicide rates, or wants to have to clean debris off of railroads.
I would hope that mayors around the country and many of them are in Washington today — the president spoke with them. I would imagine that many of them probably asked this president to help with bail reform, help us with the mental health initiative, help us to ensure that those of us who have public transit systems that we’re able to prosecute, inhegtenisneming, and make safe havens there on subway platforms all across the — regoor die land.
I didn’t mean to jump start this conversation in the last segment, but I’m glad that the district attorney of New York met with business leaders today, and I’m glad they expressed very clearly to him that without a public transit system, without a safe one and we’ve all commented on this, New York won’t be New York. Our economy can’t thrive.
So, I hope Democrats and Republicans — those who have been wrong, get right, and those who have been right all along, continue to amplify your voice.
TURNER: Jesse, the Transportation Security Administration, the TSA confirmed to Fox News now that they are allowing undocumented immigrants, people who are in the United States illegally to use their homeland security issued arrest warrants as I.D. at airport security checkpoints, those arrest warrants are used to cross-check with CBP databases.
As far as I can tell, this is great news for you, because now you don’t have to bring your passport anymore, you can just bring your arrest warrant. You must have multiple, Jesse.
WATTERS: Multiple, baie, very devious behavior on my part. And I will submit to a full body search. But I want to not gloat for a second. A lot of people are going to be shocked when I tell you this. I’m not going to trash the Democrats here. Don’t change the channel, just hear me out.
The Democrats have come around on crime. Let’s take the win. The Democrats have come around on lockdowns, on school closings. They have finally woken up to the train wreck of the Biden presidency. I’m not going to spike the football. I’m just going to accept it. Goed so?
So, I don’t think their intentions are pure, natuurlik. It’s very suspicious that Pelosi, Newsom, and Biden on the same day, are laser focused on crime. That tells me this. That tells me a polling memo went out that the Democrats saw, looked at, and said holy cow, we are all going to lose our seats.
Nou, a crime is not when someone steals your car or takes your wallet. A crime is when someone steals the Democrats’ seat in Congress. That’s what they care about. Same thing happened after the 2020 summer riots. Onthou? They didn’t give a damn all summer until the polling memo went out in August, and Don Lemon said, ouens, you guys are going to get crushed.
Jy weet, bad polls are like smelling salts. It wakes the Democratic Party up. Jy weet, daardie — that is the real issue. Now also, did you notice how Gavin Newsom didn’t really care about the criminals or the crime itself? He cares about the image of the crime. He cares about how it looks on television. Did you see the drone footage? It was on the network news.
ek bedoel, hy — it’s really like a P.R. thing for him. It’s so superficial, and I fear that good-looking guys with great hair are just —
GOEIE VELD: Ja.
WATTERS: — so superficial it’s giving us a bad name.
GOEIE VELD: It’s so true.
TURNER: So, hand-in-hand with what Greg just said, jy weet, the optics, jy weet, why he concerned about, what he calls these criminals.
TURNER: Dagen, I obviously save the loveliest for last.
MCDOWELL: Dankie. Greg is offended. Gavin Newsom has his eye on higher office, nommer een. And these pictures were embarrassing to him. Ook, Union Pacific, the railroad wrote George Gascon, the district attorney in Los Angeles County, a two-page letter, essentially telling him if you don’t start prosecuting me these crimes. They wrote him the letter.
Even with all the arrests made, the no cash bail policy and the extended time frame for suspects to appear in court is causing revictimization to Union Pacific employees by the same criminals to the railroads and to the employees. And they said we are taking our business out of L.A. County potentially.
MCDOWELL: So, what happens is Gavin Newsom knows this is the beginning of a downward spiral, a financial death spiral for any city and state if the businesses leave, your tax base leaves, even your more wealthy taxpayers will leave. En dan, lower income Californians are left behind and you can’t recover from that.
But to Greg’s point, I think the only thing that triggered Gavin Newsom going down there was his Gucci slippers got lost in transit, or some Hermes — some Hermes foulard that he ordered got stolen —
WATTERS: It was supposed to be here by now.
MCDOWELL: But it’s only when — they only start caring, to quote Greg Gutfeld about crime or about any issue or even acknowledge it when it happens to them.
TURNER: Great point.
MCDOWELL: It’s Greg’s point, I stole it.
TURNER: Dis reg. You’re allowed to do that.
WATTERS: Someone steal my point. Jesus.
TURNER: No one wants your points, Jesse. We got to leave it there.
WATTERS: Ja, we get it.
TURNER: Coming up next, after the president and Democratic lawmakers linked Republicans to segregationists, some in the media are now going even a step further.
Ongeïdentifiseerde man: The Senate last night failed to do what it should have done. And in some respects, we can call it a racist Senate.
SY. CHUCK SCHUMER (D-NY): When it is so vital to bring in full equality in this country, and racism has been the poison of America would be a disgrace.
REP. JIM CLYBURN (D-SC): That to me is Jim Crow 2.0.
(EINDE VIDEO CLIP)
MCDOWELL: President Biden and Democrats laid it on pretty thick and claiming that Republicans and moderates who oppose their federal takeover of elections are a bunch of segregationist, rassiste. And guess who’s been picking up the mantle to push that racism message.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SUNNY HOSTIN, CO-HOST, THE VIEW: The infrastructure bill, ek dink, was a leaning into white independence and I think it was a leaning into white moderates. But the bottom line is those aren’t the folks that really took them over the finish line. Those aren’t — that’s not the Democratic base, geen.
The Democratic President has made it into the White House without the support of the Black community. He sat for eight years next to a black president yet didn’t think he’d be treated like one. And that’s what he’s being treated like.
JOY BEHAR, CO-HOST, THE VIEW: How dense was Biden really, in this instance — in this — in these instances? You’re a white privilege senator in the United States Congress, and so you believe that other white privilege guys will work with you, but they won’t —
Ongeïdentifiseerde vrou: But they won’t.
BEHAR: Ans they don’t.
(EINDE VIDEO CLIP)
MCDOWELL: Greg, I don’t speak moronory, but what I think they’re trying to say is that the old white dude in the White House is somehow a victim of racism.
GOEIE VELD: Ja, it’s awesome. Terloops, when Chuck Schumer says that racism is the poison of America, not to Democrats, it’s their heroin, because they can’t quit it. We now live in a media-approved society where white is clearly an acceptable insult. It’s a negatively label.
When you watch anything on MSNBC, which I urge you don’t unless you’re heavily medicated, they preface certain terms with white with a sense of like disgust. En sy — and I don’t understand why the executives at these other networks don’t see that as racist. Racism is a two-way street. And race warfare is like the worst kind of junk food because for the idiots, it tastes really good. But later you get sick to your stomach.
En terloops, just so — speaking of sick to your stomach, I just got an e-mail from Gillian who asked me, how’s your loser fish? And I’m going to say doing awesome, better than your loser baby.
TURNER: I sent you that e-mail before the show even started. You might want to check your Wi Fi.
GOEIE VELD: I’m very busy. I’m very busy. I’m a busy — Anders as jy, Gillian. I’m a very busy person.
TURNER: Getting hairspray.
MCDOWELL: Gillian, continue.
TURNER: ek bedoel, the core of this problem with the voting rights legislation is that the left believes like with every fiber of their being that it is about race and racism, the right believes that it’s about banning voter ID, making cheating easier, and instituting a federal takeover of elections once and for all so that the Fed is in charge of all elections in this country.
That’s the crux of this problem. There’s not going to be a path forward for any of this because these are intractable problems. A quick note about what Sunny Hostin said. She said that the infrastructure bill was geared towards white — excuse me now I’m starting to spit and drool like Greg. This happens when you’re on television with him.
She said that this was — the infrastructure bill was geared towards white moderates. It was not geared towards white people at all, regtig. And the President said this over and over again. This was a bill that was pouring more public funding into bridges, and roads, and tunnels, trains, buses, expanding internet access. It was a bill that was aimed at minority communities in America. She’s flatly wrong on that.
MCDOWELL: Wel, that was also, Harold, I think a talking point from Joy Reid. So, there’s a memo that went out to call the infrastructure bill racist essentially.
FORD JR.: Wel, let me step back for a moment here. I don’t think any of this policy is directed to Black people or White people or minority communities. I think when you build bridges, they don’t just — they don’t have a Black lane or a White lane, and you determine how many Blacks went across the bridge versus anyone else.
We were too quick to racialized everything. I get — I’m sickened by any party, any individual, or any group that thinks they’re going to advance themselves by always invoking race. It’s the wrong thing to do. I think it’s fair to ask —
TURNER: Terloops, Harold, I wasn’t — that wasn’t my perspective. That was how the Biden administration sold the bill. I wasn’t saying that. That wasn’t coming from me. Just to be clear.
FORD JR.: Wel, anyone that said it is wrong. Reg, anyone that said it is wrong. So, my point is this. As 16 Republican senators voted for voting rights in the past, I don’t think it’s unfair to ask them what made you not want to vote for the John Lewis Voting Rights Act.
They probably have been — may have reasons that I may understand or may not understand. I don’t think you racialize this thing so quickly. When you do, all we do is reduce ourselves to these kinds of silly, unproductive conversations, when in fact, we are passing voting rights laws in states around the country after an election when more people voted in the history of the country and no court found any widespread fraud.
Nou, when they say there are other reasons, and I happen to think some of the reasons that have been raised by some Republican especially around voter ID, I think we should have voter ID. But for the life of me, I don’t understand any state that would give oversight authority to a partisan legislature versus a secretary of state. We’ve not had those kinds of problems.
Republicans should know, Democrats will be in charge sometimes. And Democrats, jy weet, Republicans will be in charge. We just need fair elections. And I thought we had one in 2020.
MCDOWELL: Jesse, final word. But the issue was getting rid of the filibuster for legislation in the Senate. En so, they use — to left, the Democrats are using that — because they wanted that as a pathway to passing whatever they want climate change legislation, you name it.
So, they’re mad, they didn’t get their way. And then they’re using — casting aspersions and calling people racist because they didn’t get what they wanted on the filibuster.
WATTERS: So, die Senaat, which the Democrats control is racist and infrastructure, which was racist, was solved by a new infrastructure bill that’s also racist. And then finally, the Republicans don’t vote with a Black president who’s a Democrat, and then they don’t vote with a white president who’s a Democrat, and they conclude that the Republicans are racist when they treat the white Democrat president and the Black Democrat president exactly the same way?
ek dink — I think they just proved the point that the Republicans aren’t racist. Republicans just don’t vote with the Democratic president. Case closed.
MCDOWELL: I think they have buyer’s remorse because they’re the ones who got the septuagenarian confused individual elected. O, and he’s white.
Volgende, wokeness come in for your favorite candy. M&Ms are getting a progressive makeover.
FORD JR.: The parent company of M&M is causing quite a stir after announcing their candy mascots will be getting an “inclusive woke make over,” making them more diverse and focusing on a range of personalities.
So, here are some of the changes. The green M&M will be trading in her high-heeled boots for sneakers. She also will be ending her rivalry with the brown M&M. The orange M&M will embrace his anxiety and the red M&M will bully people less.
Dagen, you are into fashion and know it. What do you think about this whole shoe thing with this green M&M?
MCDOWELL: ek het nou net — I’m just noticing — I loved my white vinyl go-go boots, but I’m just noticing they’re still naked and they’re still just talking candies. Hierdie — this is a gateway drug to obesity. And I know firsthand because my first boss had a dispenser of M&Ms on his desk and I gained 20 pounds in about six months.
This cup has 19 peanut M&Ms in it. Dit is 250 calories. Dit is — this is causing fatness among myself so —
FORD JR.: Jesse, as a fashion expert yourself, wat is jou gedagtes?
WATTERS: ek het nou net — Harold, when you join THE FIVE, did you think you’d be asking guests about the shoe thing with the green M&M? I bet you didn’t, Harold.
FORD JR.: I’ve taken notes on it already.
WATTERS: Goed so. I am also offended at some candies and I’m going to give these candies a woke makeover. Here is a list of some new name changes. Mev. Goodbar. York Peppermint Pat.
TURNER: Dis goed.
WATTERS: Equal Pay Day. And then finally Peanutless M&Me.
TURNER: That was good. Who wrote that?
WATTERS: ek het. And that spent all day. That’s all I got.
FORD JR.: Greg, does this — does this hurt the M&M brand to do this?
GOEIE VELD: Wel, Ek weet nie. Here’s the deal. Jy weet, this is kind of like a microcosm of what’s happening in the woke world. If you look at what they change — so you go from go-go boots to sneakers. That’s boring. There’s going to be no more rivalries. That’s not interesting.
The whole — the whole end result of woke ism is that it blends everything. It shaves down any kind of individuality that a human being might have in favor of what is best to describe them. So, you’re no longer an individual, you belong to a certain type of group.
And now they’re doing this — even like, lekkergoed. Jy weet, hierdie, this is the — this is the diabetic starter kit, jy weet, is being affected by this. And that’s what — jy weet, what Dagen has brought up. It’s like corporations, what they’re trying to do is they’re trying to keep you from criticizing them about the real big things that they do, like make kids fat increase risk for diabetes by doing the easy stuff first, soos, o, let’s make our candies more inclusive.
I support what Kat Timpf said. If you really support inclusivity for M&Me, why are you eating them? How gross is that? How disgusting is it that you’re eating these poor inclusive little bon-bons, these non-binary bon- bons? They just want to have a good life.
WATTERS: Greg, I like how the red M&M is going to just bully less.
GOEIE VELD: Ja, he’s going to bully less.
WATTERS: He’s not going to stop, he’s juust going to bully less.
FORD JR.: With that — with that segue, Gillian, with that segue Gillian, bring us home here.
TURNER: What I don’t like about all this is if you look at these changes, more says they’re trying to be more gender-neutral and gender-inclusive, then why he just fixing what the women M&Ms are wearing?
All the changes amount to the green M&M who can’t wear her go-go boots, and the brown M&M, her shoes — her shoes are changing too. She’s going to have lower heels. I think that’s outrageous. I was talking to Rich Edson about the story earlier today. He said from now on, we should call them Men and M’s. ek stem saam.
FORD JR.: Hear, Hoor. “FAN MAIL FRIDAY” is up next.
GOEIE VELD: Goed so, we’ll get to that later. “FAN MAIL FRIDAY,” answering your questions. First one up from John B. What band or musician have you seen the most times? I’m going to go to Jesse because I don’t think he’s ever seen live music in his life.
WATTERS: That’s not true. I’ve seen the Funky Meters a half dozen times.
GOEIE VELD: The Funky Meters?
WATTERS: Ja, The Meters.
GOEIE VELD: OK.
WATTERS: The Neville Brothers, The Meters.
GOEIE VELD: O, OK. Got you. Got you. Got you.
WATTERS: O, did I just out-music you Gutfeld?
GOEIE VELD: Geen, geen, geen. Dit is net —
WATTERS: O, save the tape.
GOEIE VELD: I bet you don’t stand out at all in that crowd. Gillian, what kind of music — who have you seen the most?
TURNER: I’m not sure. But it might — and this might surprise you. It might be Aerosmith of live bands. They were the first concert that I ever went to. And I’ve seen them I think three times since then. So, they might be the most. Because I don’t really follow anyone, jy weet, like a groupie around the country. So, four concerts is a lot.
GOEIE VELD: Sjoe, that’s surprising. It’s surprising you have such conventional tastes, Gillian. That was — that was sleepy. Harold, what’s — have you seen the most?
FORD JR.: The three I’ve seen the most would be Prince, Al Green, and since I’ve known my wife, the Allman Brothers.
GOEIE VELD: Nou, dis —
FORD JR.: The Allman Brothers, they’re constituted now.
GOEIE VELD: Who have you seen the most?
WATTERS: I’m changing my answer. I’ve seen the Allman Brothers more than The Meters.
GOEIE VELD: Maar nee — but Harold, how many — wie’s — who have you seen the most and how many times?
FORD JR.: I’ve seen Prince — I saw Prince probably 25 keer.
GOEIE VELD: Sjoe.
GOEIE VELD: I think you win. I think you win. And I’ve — I didn’t even got to Dagen yet. Although I might beat you, but I’ll be cheating. Dagen?
MCDOWELL: Geen, I can’t top Prince but Lyle Lovett. Lyle Lovett and his large band and Lyle Lovett and his acoustic group. I started seeing him when I was like — wel, it was a long time ago. Dit was 30 jare terug — meer as 30 jare terug.
GOEIE VELD: I’m going to put myself in second place. I’ve seen Mike Patton maybe 20 times but they’ve all been in different bands. So, Faith No More, Mnr. Bungle, Tomahawk, Executioners, Lovage, Fantomas. So, that’s cheating. I hope he’s doing well, Mike Patton. “ONE MORE THING” is up next.
WATTERS: It’s time now for “ONE MORE THING.” GG.
GOEIE VELD: Goed so, vanaand, we got a great show, “GOEIE VELD!” We have Mr. Jesse Watters, the great Walter Kirn, Rob Long, Kat Timpf. It’s a great show. We do a whole segment helping Jesse get ready for his Monday show.
Goed so, a little bad news — actually a lot of bad news. A friend of mine and a friend of this show and a friend to Fox and a friend to everybody who works here, Meat Loaf passed away yesterday at the age of 74.
You know him from Rocky Horror and Fight Club and bat out — Bat Out of hell. But what you don’t know is how genuinely nice and authentic this person was. Meatloaf would look you in the eye and he would talk to you. And it was like you’ve known him for years. I spent a long conversation with him where he explained to me, I Do Anything for Love,(But I Won’t Do That) what that was, and how I — how I had missed that. I did not understand what that thing was that he wouldn’t do.
It was the best conversation. He was the sweetest guy. And you just go out, listen to his music. Remember Meat Loaf today. Great guy.
WATTERS: Jip. And I will be on “GOEIE VELD!” tonight but watch not for me. Watch for Walter Kirn. One of Greg’s guests to enter a different level of consciousness. So, it’s definitely worth — 11:00 vanaand.
Ook, you can catch the last “WATTER’S WORLD” episode. We had to blow out most of it because of that cook that took that synagogue hostage. So, weer 8:00 “WATTERS’ WORLD” last one. Time for Feeding Frenzy.
Goed so, so Coca-Cola has unveiled a new flavor. It’s Coca-Cola with coffee. They have a mocha flavor. It’s Brazilian coffee beans. They pack in twice as much caffeine as a regular Coke. It’s already hit stores. I’m going to try it right now. Dis goed. Dis goed, ouens. It’s really good.
GILLIAN: Geen, dit is nie. Stop lying.
WATTERS: Geen, I’m not lying about this Feeding Frenzy. I may have in the past but not this one. En weer, as Greg mentioned, “JESSE WATTERS PRIMETIME” 7:00 Maandag. I hope to see you guys there. Harold Ford Jr.
FORD JR.: Congrats again and rest in peace Meat Loaf. When a snowstorm rolled through Pennsylvania, the high school football coach in Bethel Park decided to cancel their team’s weightlifting workout. But the boys didn’t get off easy. In plaas daarvan, the coach told him to get out exercise — get out an exercise but getting out and shoveling snow for their elderly or disabled neighbors. And they did just that.
They say it’s become a tradition. It helps connect the boys with their community. And we think they should keep up the good work. There’s goodness in all of us. Bless those boys and bless that community.
WATTERS: Ja. Some of the linemen just looked like they were just kind of pushing the shovels on top of the snow. I don’t know if you guys caught that. But I just thought.
GOEIE VELD: ek het, ja.
FORD JR.: It looked at us — they look like us at the Christmas tree thing, Jesse.
WATTERS: Presies reg, Harold. Goed so, it takes one to know one. Gillian.
TURNER: Goed so, so my daughter Coco Rose just turned six months old. And yesterday, let’s pull up the video. There she is. She tried vegetables for the first time. She’s having carrots and broccoli. I think there’s some potato in there.
What breaks my heart about this video is she loves food so much that she kept opening her mouth hoping against hope that the next bite would not be as disgusting as the last one. I think she lost faith in humanity.
WATTERS: Coco Rose, what a great name. Goed so, Die McDowell -dag, take us home.
MCDOWELL: Really quickly, in Coco Rose’s future, maybe a homemade Zamboni that her dad makes over the backyard ice rink. This is Nika of Boise, Idaho. Her dad Nick made that Zamboni for her to ride in the backyard, and it’s a real Zamboni.
WATTERS: Goed so, off we go to Margaritaville, almal. Have a great weekend.
GOEIE VELD: Ja.
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